Parents out of town- can 16 year old have friends over?

[Anonymous]

Think back to when you were a teenager....where were the raging parties? At houses where parents were away. Nothing has changed. Unless your kid is some sort of angel (and don’t delude yourself) stuff will happen that you won’t approve of at all. My husbands parents went out of town and left him in he care of his older brother, who promptly banished him to his room while he rolled in kegs, weed, girls etc

[Anonymous]

OP - it was not responsible of you to leave a 6 year old in the care of a 16 year old

[Anonymous]

No to friends, but ppl saying a 16 year old can’t look after their younger sib for 48 hours need to zip it and clearly don’t know all teens. I have a 17 yr old who certainly would have been capable of watching a six yr old for 48 hours a year ago. You know your kids.

[Anonymous]

Really depends on the kid.

Mine, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it was not responsible of you to leave a 6 year old in the care of a 16 year old

My parents were gone for a week in another country when I was 5 and left me with my teen siblings. A teenager can watch a 6 year old for 2 nights certainly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are absolutely insane to have left your 16 year old in charge of a 6 year old over night when it wasn't absolutely essential. One of you could have stayed home. If something had happened to your 6 year old, regardless of whether it was an accident or not, you all could have been liable. That's madness and so irresponsible of you.

Liable how?

Suing themselves?

Criminal charges. Child abuse/neglect, child endangerment, negligent homicide. So many ways this could go horribly wrong! Don’t do this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are absolutely insane to have left your 16 year old in charge of a 6 year old over night when it wasn't absolutely essential. One of you could have stayed home. If something had happened to your 6 year old, regardless of whether it was an accident or not, you all could have been liable. That's madness and so irresponsible of you.

Liable how?

Suing themselves?

Criminal charges. Child abuse/neglect, child endangerment, negligent homicide. So many ways this could go horribly wrong! Don’t do this, OP.

Leaving a 16 year old in charge of a 6 year old for two nights is not child abuse/neglect or child endangerment. 16 years olds have kids of their own for Pete's sake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: husband and I went out of town for 2 nites for other child sport event.. Left our 6 year old home with our 16 year old. Have neighbor and nanny “on stand by” if they need anything.
Usually my parents fly in but with Covid all relatives out.
16 year old asked if he could have his 2 friends over after he puts 6 year old to bed. Great kids. Only wants them to come over for couple hours.
We said no.
We also wouldn’t leave them alone again even though we live in safe area etc.
What age would u leave 16 year old with 6 year old- snd would you allow friends?

When I was 16, I wouldn't ask. The fact that he asked tis a pretty strong sign they weren't going to get up to anything. But this is DCUM, where trusting your children is forbidden.

Valid points (which I made to my dad when I was 16 and asking for the same thing—just wanted to have a couple of friends over for pizza and a movie while they were gone overnight). He immediately acknowledged that he admired my asking and it confirmed what he already knew—that I was a good kid with good intentions who was trustworthy.

But he still said “no” and here’s why:
1–your friends parents send their kids to
our house, they trust us to provide a safe and supervised environment and I don’t want to violate that trust
2–if it gets out that you’re having a gathering at your house that is unsupervised, the situation can easily become out of control by the decisions of others, even if you don’t plan to do anything but eat pizza and watch a movie. If a friend or other classmate decides that’s the time to show up with beer and get drunk and drive home, it puts you in a terrible situation and we are saying “no” so you don’t have to.

+1

I don't know why you think him asking to have friends over indicates he is more trustworthy than other kids. My mom went away for one night when I was in HS and I asked to have two friends over. She said yes and I threw a party with 15 kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are absolutely insane to have left your 16 year old in charge of a 6 year old over night when it wasn't absolutely essential. One of you could have stayed home. If something had happened to your 6 year old, regardless of whether it was an accident or not, you all could have been liable. That's madness and so irresponsible of you.

Liable how?

Suing themselves?

Criminal charges. Child abuse/neglect, child endangerment, negligent homicide. So many ways this could go horribly wrong! Don’t do this, OP.

Leaving a 16 year old in charge of a 6 year old for two nights is not child abuse/neglect or child endangerment. 16 years olds have kids of their own for Pete's sake!

The act of leaving a 16 year old in charge is not abuse per se; however, if something goes wrong (house fire, party where someone gets hurt, etc..), then this situation absolutely could be charged as abuse/neglect/endangerment.
-criminal defense atty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Gen X. I would and I did when my child was 15.

I'm Gen X, too. Didn't you see Risky Business when it came out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are absolutely insane to have left your 16 year old in charge of a 6 year old over night when it wasn't absolutely essential. One of you could have stayed home. If something had happened to your 6 year old, regardless of whether it was an accident or not, you all could have been liable. That's madness and so irresponsible of you.

Liable how?

Suing themselves?

Criminal charges. Child abuse/neglect, child endangerment, negligent homicide. So many ways this could go horribly wrong! Don’t do this, OP.

Leaving a 16 year old in charge of a 6 year old for two nights is not child abuse/neglect or child endangerment. 16 years olds have kids of their own for Pete's sake!

The act of leaving a 16 year old in charge is not abuse per se; however, if something goes wrong (house fire, party where someone gets hurt, etc..), then this situation absolutely could be charged as abuse/neglect/endangerment.
-criminal defense atty

This seems bizarre. So is there a magic number at which we assume someone is competent to provide childcare? Or is it based on what is known about the proposed caregiver and whether a reasonable person should have known they could not provide adequate supervision? All of the things you list could happen with a 23 year old watching your child, and certainly an 18 year old. Still seems like this comes down to how responsible your 16 year old is. I swear all thes ppl posting have 12 year olds and gave never lived with a mature teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it was not responsible of you to leave a 6 year old in the care of a 16 year old

+1

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: husband and I went out of town for 2 nites for other child sport event.. Left our 6 year old home with our 16 year old. Have neighbor and nanny “on stand by” if they need anything.
Usually my parents fly in but with Covid all relatives out.
16 year old asked if he could have his 2 friends over after he puts 6 year old to bed. Great kids. Only wants them to come over for couple hours.
We said no.
We also wouldn’t leave them alone again even though we live in safe area etc.
What age would u leave 16 year old with 6 year old- snd would you allow friends?

When I was 16, I wouldn't ask. The fact that he asked tis a pretty strong sign they weren't going to get up to anything. But this is DCUM, where trusting your children is forbidden.

Valid points (which I made to my dad when I was 16 and asking for the same thing—just wanted to have a couple of friends over for pizza and a movie while they were gone overnight). He immediately acknowledged that he admired my asking and it confirmed what he already knew—that I was a good kid with good intentions who was trustworthy.

But he still said “no” and here’s why:
1–your friends parents send their kids to
our house, they trust us to provide a safe and supervised environment and I don’t want to violate that trust
2–if it gets out that you’re having a gathering at your house that is unsupervised, the situation can easily become out of control by the decisions of others, even if you don’t plan to do anything but eat pizza and watch a movie. If a friend or other classmate decides that’s the time to show up with beer and get drunk and drive home, it puts you in a terrible situation and we are saying “no” so you don’t have to.

I agree with this. First, kids in groups often make dumber decisions than an individual kid would make. And, second, if it gets out that your kid is home alone, other people might make choices that can cause the situation to quickly spiral out of control.