Parents out of town- can 16 year old have friends over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: husband and I went out of town for 2 nites for other child sport event.. Left our 6 year old home with our 16 year old. Have neighbor and nanny “on stand by” if they need anything.
Usually my parents fly in but with Covid all relatives out.
16 year old asked if he could have his 2 friends over after he puts 6 year old to bed. Great kids. Only wants them to come over for couple hours.
We said no.
We also wouldn’t leave them alone again even though we live in safe area etc.
What age would u leave 16 year old with 6 year old- snd would you allow friends?

When I was 16, I wouldn't ask. The fact that he asked tis a pretty strong sign they weren't going to get up to anything. But this is DCUM, where trusting your children is forbidden.

[Anonymous]

What age do you want him to start having sex in your house? That's the age.

[Anonymous]

I would not leave my sixteen year old home alone. One parent should stay and other go to sporting event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do 2 parents need to watch a sporting event? Bad choice.

Overly invested.

[Anonymous]

^ This. Why did two parents go? Leaving a 16 year old for two nights is crazy, throwing a 6 year old in is even crazier. My two oldest play college sports so I understand the travel, and that makes it even harder to believe that two parents had to go be spectators. No one ever did that in my kids’ teams if there were younger kids in the family. I have a 16 year old who is Uber responsible and still wouldn’t leave the kid home alone overnight, let alone two nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t have left my16 year old home alone for two nights much less home responsible for a 6 year old.

+1

Why do both parents need to go to a sporting event? One stays at home to care for their children, the other goes. It doesn't seem complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: husband and I went out of town for 2 nites for other child sport event.. Left our 6 year old home with our 16 year old. Have neighbor and nanny “on stand by” if they need anything.
Usually my parents fly in but with Covid all relatives out.
16 year old asked if he could have his 2 friends over after he puts 6 year old to bed. Great kids. Only wants them to come over for couple hours.
We said no.
We also wouldn’t leave them alone again even though we live in safe area etc.
What age would u leave 16 year old with 6 year old- snd would you allow friends?

When I was 16, I wouldn't ask. The fact that he asked tis a pretty strong sign they weren't going to get up to anything. But this is DCUM, where trusting your children is forbidden.

Valid points (which I made to my dad when I was 16 and asking for the same thing—just wanted to have a couple of friends over for pizza and a movie while they were gone overnight). He immediately acknowledged that he admired my asking and it confirmed what he already knew—that I was a good kid with good intentions who was trustworthy.

But he still said “no” and here’s why:
1–your friends parents send their kids to
our house, they trust us to provide a safe and supervised environment and I don’t want to violate that trust
2–if it gets out that you’re having a gathering at your house that is unsupervised, the situation can easily become out of control by the decisions of others, even if you don’t plan to do anything but eat pizza and watch a movie. If a friend or other classmate decides that’s the time to show up with beer and get drunk and drive home, it puts you in a terrible situation and we are saying “no” so you don’t have to.

[Anonymous]

That’s a hell no.

[Anonymous]

This is a subplot in Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way I would have left a 16 year old home alone for two nights.

+1 I remember the parties thrown by “great kids” (who were my friends) when we were just a year older. Teens’ brains aren’t fully developed, and it’s common to make bad choices. I was a pretty squeaky clean kid who, as a sophomore, raided the liquor cabinet of a friend’s parent (with the friend, not by myself). I had never drank and was so curious, but mixed different kinds of alcohol and became violently ill. I actually never drank in high school again, and can count on half a hand the number of times I’ve been drunk since - it was such a bad experience.

But the point is, kids do stupid things, even those who seem on the straight and narrow.

[Anonymous]

We're still in a pandemic, too. FYI.

[Anonymous]

OK, here's the situation. My parents went away on a week's vacation and they left the keys to the brand new Porsche
Would they mind? Umm, well, of course not.
I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends.
I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood.
Well, maybe I shouldn't... Yeah, of course I should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: husband and I went out of town for 2 nites for other child sport event.. Left our 6 year old home with our 16 year old. Have neighbor and nanny “on stand by” if they need anything.
Usually my parents fly in but with Covid all relatives out.
16 year old asked if he could have his 2 friends over after he puts 6 year old to bed. Great kids. Only wants them to come over for couple hours.
We said no.
We also wouldn’t leave them alone again even though we live in safe area etc.
What age would u leave 16 year old with 6 year old- snd would you allow friends?

How else can there be a rager?

[Anonymous]

Know your kid. I would have left my 16 yr old, and said yes to one friend. Not two, groups make things trickier.

[Anonymous]

I would allow that, and friends over, but that's because I trust my specific kid's judgement not necessarily because I think it would work for all kids at 16 or any specific age.