Boyfriend giving me silent treatment

[Anonymous]

So OP, any update? Did you break up with him or cave when he 1/2 apologized but still doesn’t underhand why the silent treatment is not okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard to say without knowing what the fight was about. We don’t know either side of the story.

Agree. Maybe she cheated?

When I get mad I may not reach out or answer a text, because what is there to say, really, after someone does something shitty to you and shows that they don't care about you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. We get along great and have really good time together. We recently had our first fight and he had been giving me the silent treatment for 3 days. I’ve never dealt with this before. How do I handle? Is everything just over? We really having a great time up until this point.

Yup it's over. Please run FAST away from this immature jerk. I made the mistake of staying and getting married to someone like this and it ended in a really horrible divorce. Please save yourself the trouble.

Same here. Move on to the next candidate, don't waste anymore time with this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP, any update? Did you break up with him or cave when he 1/2 apologized but still doesn’t underhand why the silent treatment is not okay.

I’m going to bet that she apologized to him because he somehow turned it around that it was her fault. And he was justified in giving her the silent treatment. She apologized and promised to do better.

OP- of course things were going great, you’ve been dating for 5 months. That the time it’s easy and everyone is putting their best foot forward. But you don’t stay with someone because the first few months were good.

[Anonymous]

My Dad uses the silent treatment along with other forms of emotional abuse, financial control and eventually physical abuse. It is a pattern with the women he dates & marries.

Stop trying to contact him. Move on. There is not a future with this man. At least not a happy one.

[Anonymous]

I doubt OP will be back.

But, if you're reading - break up with him and don't look back. Be glad you only wasted 5 months.

[Anonymous]

My husband uses the silent treatment after an explosive outburst and really cruel words. It is really awful. Move on from this relationship. You deserve someone who is truly a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard to say without knowing what the fight was about. We don’t know either side of the story.

Agree. Maybe she cheated?

When I get mad I may not reach out or answer a text, because what is there to say, really, after someone does something shitty to you and shows that they don't care about you?

Doesn't even matter. If she cheated he can say, "I'm so stinking mad that I can't talk about this right now or I'm going to say things I regret." And they can go about life for a little bit without the anger till they are both ready to talk. But no silent treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. We get along great and have really good time together. We recently had our first fight and he had been giving me the silent treatment for 3 days. I’ve never dealt with this before. How do I handle? Is everything just over? We really having a great time up until this point.

It's hard to say without knowing what the fight was about.

My DH used to do that when we were dating, and probably early in the marriage. It's not that he wants to punish me for anything, he just go so mad after something that was said, that he would literally shut down and avoid me for a few days. He does it with everyone who angers him to that day - says it's better he takes some time out to settle down rather than stay and argue.

He doesn't do that anymore, or if it does, it's usually a few hours. I also now understand his reactions better and don't get nearly as upset. I'm like, ok maybe I shouldn't have said whatever it was, but you go and take your time, we'll talk later. You have to see what's yours like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard to say without knowing what the fight was about. We don’t know either side of the story.

Agree. Maybe she cheated?

When I get mad I may not reach out or answer a text, because what is there to say, really, after someone does something shitty to you and shows that they don't care about you?

Are you a toddler? If it’s that unforgivable, you break up.

[Anonymous]

Silent treatment is passive aggressive. Being passive aggressive is a sign of immaturity. I don't have time for that crap. So I'd thank him for showing me exactly who he is, and peace out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. We get along great and have really good time together. We recently had our first fight and he had been giving me the silent treatment for 3 days. I’ve never dealt with this before. How do I handle? Is everything just over? We really having a great time up until this point.

It's hard to say without knowing what the fight was about.

My DH used to do that when we were dating, and probably early in the marriage. It's not that he wants to punish me for anything, he just go so mad after something that was said, that he would literally shut down and avoid me for a few days. He does it with everyone who angers him to that day - says it's better he takes some time out to settle down rather than stay and argue.

He doesn't do that anymore, or if it does, it's usually a few hours. I also now understand his reactions better and don't get nearly as upset. I'm like, ok maybe I shouldn't have said whatever it was, but you go and take your time, we'll talk later. You have to see what's yours like

Nah, you're just normalizing his anger management issues. Cooling off for a few hours is one thing; not talking for days is manipulative and abusive. Does he do this at work? I bet not, because if he does he'd have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is showing you exactly who he is - he’s great when everything is perfect for him, and become emotionally abusive when it’s not. If you stay with him, you will spend your life walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting him, always giving up what you want/need to keep peace with him. He is doing you a huge favor by showing you this side of himself so early. Please don’t waste any more time on this relationship - end it.

[phone]

[phone]

This behavior will not improve unless he is willing to do counseling. Find a new man.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Brother gave me the best advice ever. If a man can go 24 hours without talking to you, he’s not in love with you. The stands true for all relationships. He’s just not into you. Move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, google Gottman Institute and Stonewalling.
Agree with everyone, this is a red flag.