No One’s Coming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How ‘good’ parenting can make for ‘bad’ democracy
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/education/2020/10/13/how-good-parenting-can-make-bad-democracy/%3foutputType=amp

“ Like all of us, they’ve internalized a democracy-corroding narrative: Parents alone bear the risk of educational failure. The state will not be arriving to help. And when parents use race and wealth to navigate their risk, it’s the best of parenting — democracy and equality be damned.”

Ok, I'll bite. Isn't this framing part of the problem? That whether schools serve everyone is up to the individual choices of wealthy white parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I honestly have had too much family time, but that’s relatively easy to solve, I do take time for myself.
What bothers me is that not all restrictions are effective and necessary, many are implemented just in case, and once they are in place, it’s not easy to get rid of them. The malls are open, yet museums and libraries aren’t (where I live).
It is important to be the judge of what’s best for your family, and not rely solely on what this or that official says.

I really feel this too, OP. Especially in the winter time. We go to playgrounds everyday but it’s not enough and some days it really is too windy and cold. My kid just needs mental and visual stimulation. It’s not enough just bring around the same people all the time, the little socialization the playground, and then DL.

We have been doing many of the things suggested on this thread— we go hiking a couple days a week, weather be damned. We try different playgrounds. We do 1:1 play dates and my DD has taken some outdoor dance classes. And it’s been ok, but realizing we’re just going to go on like this for another six months, maybe more? I can really feel the weight of it. I miss museums and libraries so much. I miss weekend family programming— we used to go to so much of that stuff, like the USO Symphony “In your neighborhood” and the family shows and classes at the Kennedy Center. Just impromptu neighborhood gatherings or picnics in the park. We do some of that now but it’s do restrained. I think it helps my DH and I because we at least get the stimulation of conversation. But little kids don’t stand around discussing current events over beers. They really need to interact, sometimes physically, and it’s so hard for them right now.

I’m glad you have the cousins at least. We can’t fly do can’t visit family and it’s unfortunate. But you are right that we are on our own— we just have to figure it out because we still have no leadership on any of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of cool things online that you can tailor to your kid’s interest. My dc likes drawings so we have found a bunch of drawing tutorials on youtube. Same with history.
Not saying it is a substitute in any way for school, but something to help them stay interested and engaged.

OP here: we do this too, but it's not enough. Not enough time being outside, and not enough socialization that is not structured.

Take your kid out for a walk or bike ride or hike or even a drive. Spend time with them. I don't get all the complaining. Mine don't have much down time between school. activities (mainly online) and socializing via chat and online gaming.

Oh I do that already. It's not enough. I am not a substitute for his peers.

Like us, you can only to the best you can - which may fall short - because we're in a global pandemic and all. We aren't going to be able to fulfill 100% of their needs at this time, no matter how much we want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ‘good’ parenting can make for ‘bad’ democracy
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/education/2020/10/13/how-good-parenting-can-make-bad-democracy/%3foutputType=amp

“ Like all of us, they’ve internalized a democracy-corroding narrative: Parents alone bear the risk of educational failure. The state will not be arriving to help. And when parents use race and wealth to navigate their risk, it’s the best of parenting — democracy and equality be damned.”

The pandemic did not create this dynamic. Reality of raising children in America did. The pandemic only exaggerated it.

Parents expect to hand off their kids to school and let schools do the real parenting. Now parents actually have to do it and they aren't prepared. Schools should offer parenting classes.

My issue isn’t parenting. It’s no in person school from 9-4 during the school year.

Yes, so now you have to parent your child from 9-4 instead of free child care. That is parenting.

I have to supervise, and regularly engage in, schooling from 9-4- that’s called teaching

Still called parenting...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You are looking for ways to spread the virus.

First you wanted schools to open no matter what.

Now you advise everyone to socialize outdoors, without masks, presumably.

Stop it. You and people like you are the reason so many people have died and will continue to die. Soon we'll reach HALF A MILLION DEAD AMERICANS.

Stop it, OP.

People like you are the reason there are so many mental health related problems since the pandemic began, including deaths.

Enough with your mental health non-sense. People have always been suicidal. And, you can blame the schools but schools are not the cause or solution and you clearly don't get mental health. Its also sad you don't get we are in a pandemic. You need to be more resilient and teach your kids to be. And, be grateful if this is the worst thing your family has been through as this is nothing compared to what we went through a few years ago. If anything, all the family time has been great.

Yes, and thank you. Mental health issues don't go away completely, They are often treated with medication, coping skills, and therapy. If your child is suffering right now, it's pretty probable they're going to suffer with some type of issue even after they have graduated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ‘good’ parenting can make for ‘bad’ democracy
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/education/2020/10/13/how-good-parenting-can-make-bad-democracy/%3foutputType=amp

“ Like all of us, they’ve internalized a democracy-corroding narrative: Parents alone bear the risk of educational failure. The state will not be arriving to help. And when parents use race and wealth to navigate their risk, it’s the best of parenting — democracy and equality be damned.”

Ok, I'll bite. Isn't this framing part of the problem? That whether schools serve everyone is up to the individual choices of wealthy white parents?

My takeaway was when schools fail only wealthy white parents can make up for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You are looking for ways to spread the virus.

First you wanted schools to open no matter what.

Now you advise everyone to socialize outdoors, without masks, presumably.

Stop it. You and people like you are the reason so many people have died and will continue to die. Soon we'll reach HALF A MILLION DEAD AMERICANS.

Stop it, OP.

People like you are the reason there are so many mental health related problems since the pandemic began, including deaths.

Enough with your mental health non-sense. People have always been suicidal. And, you can blame the schools but schools are not the cause or solution and you clearly don't get mental health. Its also sad you don't get we are in a pandemic. You need to be more resilient and teach your kids to be. And, be grateful if this is the worst thing your family has been through as this is nothing compared to what we went through a few years ago. If anything, all the family time has been great.

What effing part of not everyone is enjoying “family time” do you not understand?! Some families have only one parent working from and managing their kids education all alone while another spouse has to report to the office. Some families have both parents working outside the home and having to figure out childcare with money they don’t have. Some have taken huge paycuts (like mine) and some are now completely jobless! I’m so glad this has been one big pajama party for your family but many others are STRUGGLING.

So my family falls into one of those categories that you listen above. And we're still enjoying family. Watching TV, playing board games, joking around with each other, etc doesn't take really any money. It could just be that a lot of those families didn't have strong relationships before Coronavirus, so now they are struggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, if you visit cousins across the country every few months you're part of the problem, not the solution.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You are looking for ways to spread the virus.

First you wanted schools to open no matter what.

Now you advise everyone to socialize outdoors, without masks, presumably.

Stop it. You and people like you are the reason so many people have died and will continue to die. Soon we'll reach HALF A MILLION DEAD AMERICANS.

Stop it, OP.

People like you are the reason there are so many mental health related problems since the pandemic began, including deaths.

Enough with your mental health non-sense. People have always been suicidal. And, you can blame the schools but schools are not the cause or solution and you clearly don't get mental health. Its also sad you don't get we are in a pandemic. You need to be more resilient and teach your kids to be. And, be grateful if this is the worst thing your family has been through as this is nothing compared to what we went through a few years ago. If anything, all the family time has been great.

I never said it was the worst time I have been through (maybe it is that way for my child though). I am saying that most of what is happening to us and our kids is largely unnecessary hardship, and no one is going to tell us - ok you have endured enough, now come out and play. Testing? You still can't fly. Vaccines? You still can spread. I haven't seen a single piece of news that would say "it's safe to do this or that" that is being treated as official guidelines. Some people still disinfect groceries... some people wear masks outside with nobody else in sight. I am all for normal precautions like masks indoors. But we gotta draw a line somewhere. And nobody is coming to draw it for us.

Not being able to fly or go on vacation is not a hardship. We have not been socializing in person since March. It’s life. We draw a hardline as no one is fixing this and selfish people will continue the spread so we have no other choices. Thanks for not doing your share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You are looking for ways to spread the virus.

First you wanted schools to open no matter what.

Now you advise everyone to socialize outdoors, without masks, presumably.

Stop it. You and people like you are the reason so many people have died and will continue to die. Soon we'll reach HALF A MILLION DEAD AMERICANS.

Stop it, OP.

People like you are the reason there are so many mental health related problems since the pandemic began, including deaths.

Enough with your mental health non-sense. People have always been suicidal. And, you can blame the schools but schools are not the cause or solution and you clearly don't get mental health. Its also sad you don't get we are in a pandemic. You need to be more resilient and teach your kids to be. And, be grateful if this is the worst thing your family has been through as this is nothing compared to what we went through a few years ago. If anything, all the family time has been great.

Yes, and thank you. Mental health issues don't go away completely, They are often treated with medication, coping skills, and therapy. If your child is suffering right now, it's pretty probable they're going to suffer with some type of issue even after they have graduated.

Parents need to seek out professional help and support their kids. It’s not the schools fault as they are educators not mental health professionals. If a child is suicidal they probably had depression and other issues that got ignored. Parents need to be more aware and involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This what I realized in the fall. If you have a misfortune of living in a school district not interested in reopening, there is no one to help you. They will carry on, finding new justifications for why they can’t reopen. Bottom line: they don’t care about your or your kids’ mental health.
So it’s time to take matters into our own hands. I don’t mean protests, there’s no momentum etc.
I mean we are each responsible for our own well-being.
Find families that understand that outdoor socializing of asymptomatic kids is low risk, heck, even indoors is not terribly dangerous. My kid is super selective in friendships and it was hard but we found a family plus he has cousins across the country who we visit every several months.
Find ways for your kids to learn. I have no money or space for a tutor so I teach him myself as much as I can. Some things I let go (so much junk taught at school).
Getting angry and staying angry at those who don’t reopen schools is not productive.
It’s time for us to stop following guidelines blindly without regard for our kids’ mental health and find ways to balance risk and self-care.
Thank you for listening. Just wanted to get it out there. Not looking to argue - but maybe someone reluctant will read this and know what to do.

Stop being such a histrionic ninny. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Malls make money only when they are open. Museums and libraries if publicly run, might not.... I bet small provate museums have found a way to stay open.

See, this is the thing. Nobody pays malls to only do curbside pickup. However libraries just closed and doing "virtual" stuff only, whereas they can safely reopen in person, just let in a couple families at a time for 30 mins or something like this. Yet it is so comfy for everyone to remain virtual. Except the kids of course, who now cannot go in and choose books, etc.
Museums can also reopen with reservations, at 25% capacity. People want something besides the outdoors and the malls, it can be safely done, yet no one bothers. That's how I know no one is looking out for us. We need to find things to do on our own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, if you visit cousins across the country every few months you're part of the problem, not the solution.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I honestly have had too much family time, but that’s relatively easy to solve, I do take time for myself.
What bothers me is that not all restrictions are effective and necessary, many are implemented just in case, and once they are in place, it’s not easy to get rid of them. The malls are open, yet museums and libraries aren’t (where I live).
It is important to be the judge of what’s best for your family, and not rely solely on what this or that official says.

I really feel this too, OP. Especially in the winter time. We go to playgrounds everyday but it’s not enough and some days it really is too windy and cold. My kid just needs mental and visual stimulation. It’s not enough just bring around the same people all the time, the little socialization the playground, and then DL.

We have been doing many of the things suggested on this thread— we go hiking a couple days a week, weather be damned. We try different playgrounds. We do 1:1 play dates and my DD has taken some outdoor dance classes. And it’s been ok, but realizing we’re just going to go on like this for another six months, maybe more? I can really feel the weight of it. I miss museums and libraries so much. I miss weekend family programming— we used to go to so much of that stuff, like the USO Symphony “In your neighborhood” and the family shows and classes at the Kennedy Center. Just impromptu neighborhood gatherings or picnics in the park. We do some of that now but it’s do restrained. I think it helps my DH and I because we at least get the stimulation of conversation. But little kids don’t stand around discussing current events over beers. They really need to interact, sometimes physically, and it’s so hard for them right now.

I’m glad you have the cousins at least. We can’t fly do can’t visit family and it’s unfortunate. But you are right that we are on our own— we just have to figure it out because we still have no leadership on any of this.

Thank you for posting, PP. I am hoping as the weather gets warmer, the statistics are tweaked a little or really become better, and as the pressure to keep the economy going gets stronger - we will start reopening somewhat. Even in the most ridiculously strict places like CA. Honestly I am on the verge of just traveling to a republican state to experience more or less normal life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, if you visit cousins across the country every few months you're part of the problem, not the solution.

This.

Have you noticed that there are no widely available data on spreading by setting/situation? If there were, guess what, you would see that the most spread is occurring in low income, tight knit communities where people are cramped into small houses in large numbers. The breakdown of cases by race is available though. Looking at it, it's easy to understand that unless you are on a plane with agricultural workers with no masks, you are at very low risk. Cue LA and San Joaquin valley in CA where most of the spread is happening for the state. And trust me, many people are traveling yet they do not account for any significant number of cases.

This "do not travel do not see your family" thing is a one size fits all appeal, because they can't target it to a particular demographic for the fear of being non-PC. People need to think...not just listen to generic slogans.