Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd be curious to know if this is your husband's sister or his SIL. You sound resentful.
I don't like be solicited to buy things, but I also have no problem just saying no. In this case, because it's family, I'd probably say we really don't need anything right now but that we would keep it in mind if we needed to buy a hostess gift or similar. And then either do it or forget about it -- I don't think you have any obligation.
But I think what is really happening here is that your SIL messaged you and you told your husband because you assumed he'd agree it was annoying, and instead he wanted to support your SIL (his sister?). I can see how that would be irritating because I do sometimes get annoyed with people and want my DH to share in my annoyance. But if it's his family, I recognize that may not be possible (sometimes it is, but you have to tread carefully), so I might take it somewhere else instead, usually to a friend.
In this case, I think you might be as annoyed with your DH for not agreeing it's dumb as you are with your SIL for doing the dumb thing. But you kind of walked right into it. Lesson learned.
OP here. SIL is not my DH's sister but his brother's wife. SIL has a habit of annoying me with personal questions like asking multiple times about planning for children ("Oh, you're sure you don't want children?" "I'll have another kid if you guys have one!") and I have kept my cool by simply giving short direct answers with no explanation. I'll just say 'No, we're not' and pretend to busy myself with something. She puts up with a lot from DH's brother's issues and she can be an emotional vampire over the phone. She's nice enough but dull and I have nothing in common with her nor do I sympathize with their money troubles. They're actually quite wasteful IMHO but I keep all these opinions to myself except on DCUM lol. DH, being a guy, kind of doesn't get it so yes, lesson learned for me to just not share next time.