Annoying message on Facebook from SIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On principle, I don't buy anything from MLM, and look down on people who get tricked into that. So I would not reply anything at all, and would encourage your husband not to buy.

There it is.

I don't know anything about Pampered Chef, but how do you know if its a scam?

Because they’re all scams, by definition.
Scams on the individual sellers.

Are they though? I know many are, but others are very upfront with the compensation structure. It's not really a scam if you tell somebody how they will be compensated and then compensate them in that fashion. A scam involves some sort of dishonesty.

And FWIW, I know 2 people that have careers in MLM. One makes six figures. The other is close. I acknowledge that they are likely the outliers, but its not a scam if the company is upfront and honest from the start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be curious to know if this is your husband's sister or his SIL. You sound resentful.

I don't like be solicited to buy things, but I also have no problem just saying no. In this case, because it's family, I'd probably say we really don't need anything right now but that we would keep it in mind if we needed to buy a hostess gift or similar. And then either do it or forget about it -- I don't think you have any obligation.

But I think what is really happening here is that your SIL messaged you and you told your husband because you assumed he'd agree it was annoying, and instead he wanted to support your SIL (his sister?). I can see how that would be irritating because I do sometimes get annoyed with people and want my DH to share in my annoyance. But if it's his family, I recognize that may not be possible (sometimes it is, but you have to tread carefully), so I might take it somewhere else instead, usually to a friend.

In this case, I think you might be as annoyed with your DH for not agreeing it's dumb as you are with your SIL for doing the dumb thing. But you kind of walked right into it. Lesson learned.

OP here. SIL is not my DH's sister but his brother's wife. SIL has a habit of annoying me with personal questions like asking multiple times about planning for children ("Oh, you're sure you don't want children?" "I'll have another kid if you guys have one!") and I have kept my cool by simply giving short direct answers with no explanation. I'll just say 'No, we're not' and pretend to busy myself with something. She puts up with a lot from DH's brother's issues and she can be an emotional vampire over the phone. She's nice enough but dull and I have nothing in common with her nor do I sympathize with their money troubles. They're actually quite wasteful IMHO but I keep all these opinions to myself except on DCUM lol. DH, being a guy, kind of doesn't get it so yes, lesson learned for me to just not share next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On principle, I don't buy anything from MLM, and look down on people who get tricked into that. So I would not reply anything at all, and would encourage your husband not to buy.

There it is.

I don't know anything about Pampered Chef, but how do you know if its a scam?

Because they’re all scams, by definition.
Scams on the individual sellers.

Are they though? I know many are, but others are very upfront with the compensation structure. It's not really a scam if you tell somebody how they will be compensated and then compensate them in that fashion. A scam involves some sort of dishonesty.

And FWIW, I know 2 people that have careers in MLM. One makes six figures. The other is close. I acknowledge that they are likely the outliers, but its not a scam if the company is upfront and honest from the start.

NP, I think the PP doesnt know the definition of 'scam'

If I tell you that I'll give you 3% commission on products you sell, and then I give you 3% commission, that's not a scam. That's a business agreement.

It might be a 'bad deal' but its not a scam

[Anonymous]

I don't think the OP was gossiping about it with her DH. I mean, nothing wrong with sharing what the SIL wrote. I would be annoyed too especially if there's no 'how are you?' and just a direct solicitation to buy MLM junk.

[Anonymous]

It's your SIL. Just buy something and be nice. You don't have to purchase from there again. But just be a nice person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pampered Chef does have nice products. The few things I have from there have lasted forever.

I agree, I HATE being solicited for MLMs and don't buy 99.5% of the time, but I'd buy something by Pampered Chef from my SIL, and tell her I don't need anything else for my kitchen

This.

+1 if you don't need it, donate it to a formerly homeless family moving into their own place. Don't let this be something you feel bitter about.

[Anonymous]

I never thought I'd quote Taylor Swift, but "You need to calm down."

Surely you have ONE friend you could buy a gift for from Pampered Chef. 15 years ago I was hearing that their stuff was good.

Do you have kids? Well, at some point they will be selling some bullshit crap to raise money for something and you'll want SIL to buy something from them. This is how families work. Just buy something inexpensive as a gift for someone else, since you don't need anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd quote Taylor Swift, but "You need to calm down."

Surely you have ONE friend you could buy a gift for from Pampered Chef. 15 years ago I was hearing that their stuff was good.

Do you have kids? Well, at some point they will be selling some bullshit crap to raise money for something and you'll want SIL to buy something from them. This is how families work. Just buy something inexpensive as a gift for someone else, since you don't need anything.

Ridiculous. This isn't how families work. People should learn to be self-sufficient instead of harrassing family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd quote Taylor Swift, but "You need to calm down."

Surely you have ONE friend you could buy a gift for from Pampered Chef. 15 years ago I was hearing that their stuff was good.

Do you have kids? Well, at some point they will be selling some bullshit crap to raise money for something and you'll want SIL to buy something from them. This is how families work. Just buy something inexpensive as a gift for someone else, since you don't need anything.

Ridiculous. This isn't how families work. People should learn to be self-sufficient instead of harrassing family members.

Savage.

Did you never get a job interview from a reference from a family or friend?

Or a professional introduction?

Did you never buy girl scout cookies from a niece or cousin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd quote Taylor Swift, but "You need to calm down."

Surely you have ONE friend you could buy a gift for from Pampered Chef. 15 years ago I was hearing that their stuff was good.

Do you have kids? Well, at some point they will be selling some bullshit crap to raise money for something and you'll want SIL to buy something from them. This is how families work. Just buy something inexpensive as a gift for someone else, since you don't need anything.

Ridiculous. This isn't how families work. People should learn to be self-sufficient instead of harrassing family members.

Savage.

Did you never get a job interview from a reference from a family or friend?

Or a professional introduction?

Did you never buy girl scout cookies from a niece or cousin?

Selling girl scout cookies is literally the worst part of motherhood. My DD is super enthusiastic and wants to ask all of our friends and family. I am mortified asking anyone to buy these overpriced, crappy cookies.

[Anonymous]

There is just a constant onslaught of stuff to buy for this or that. It gets to be too much. But the mlm stuff is the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love Pampered Chef. Here is what you should buy:

Bar pan (have had mine for 12 years)
Brownie pan (your DH and ass will thank me)
Mix and Scrap spatula (it will complete you)

I have no need for any of those and I hate buying stuff that we don't need. Her DH (brothers with mine) complains that SIL buys a lot of stuff that they cannot even clear the basement for a remodel. Plus she doesn't cook at home 80% of the time so I'm puzzled why she's into this initiative.

Just buy one of these things and then give it to SIL or your brother for birthday/holiday or whatever occasion you all exchange gifts. If don't exchange gifts, give to her anyway and like other poster said, just say you didn't need anything for your kitchen but someone told you the brownie pan was awesome and so you just had to get it for her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd quote Taylor Swift, but "You need to calm down."

Surely you have ONE friend you could buy a gift for from Pampered Chef. 15 years ago I was hearing that their stuff was good.

Do you have kids? Well, at some point they will be selling some bullshit crap to raise money for something and you'll want SIL to buy something from them. This is how families work. Just buy something inexpensive as a gift for someone else, since you don't need anything.

Ridiculous. This isn't how families work. People should learn to be self-sufficient instead of harrassing family members.

Savage.

Did you never get a job interview from a reference from a family or friend?

Or a professional introduction?

Did you never buy girl scout cookies from a niece or cousin?

Honestly NO to all this. I grew up in another country and didn't do girl scout cookies but had to raise money for a non-profit organization when I was in junior high. My mom was poor and we didn't know anyone with money to donate so my mom just gave twenty bucks and complained about it. I'm also an only child and maybe that's why I see this differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd quote Taylor Swift, but "You need to calm down."

Surely you have ONE friend you could buy a gift for from Pampered Chef. 15 years ago I was hearing that their stuff was good.

Do you have kids? Well, at some point they will be selling some bullshit crap to raise money for something and you'll want SIL to buy something from them. This is how families work. Just buy something inexpensive as a gift for someone else, since you don't need anything.

Ridiculous. This isn't how families work. People should learn to be self-sufficient instead of harrassing family members.

Savage.

Did you never get a job interview from a reference from a family or friend?

Or a professional introduction?

Did you never buy girl scout cookies from a niece or cousin?

Selling girl scout cookies is literally the worst part of motherhood. My DD is super enthusiastic and wants to ask all of our friends and family. I am mortified asking anyone to buy these overpriced, crappy cookies.

Well, I'm a guy. And I take my 8 yo DD out on weekends and go door to door (not this year tho). We would spends hours out there together. I enjoyed it. And even though I bought from my daughter, I also bought from all my neices; I knew they were working hard and and wanted to support them.

Also, when I was 19, my uncle got my foot in the door for internship interview. He did it because he was my uncle.

I don't HAVE to support my nieces, and my uncle didn't HAVE to make the phone call on my behalf, but that is what healthy supportive families do.

Like others have said, buy the ice cream scoop. the worst thing that happens is that you have a fancy new ice cream scoop. But the upside is that SIL feels supported and loved

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is just a constant onslaught of stuff to buy for this or that. It gets to be too much. But the mlm stuff is the worst.

A SIL is way different from a random FB message from someone you went to high school with.

You guys are all brutal