Have you ever gone to a wedding of a friend where you knew they were not going to work out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. As soon as the groom said to the bride (my friend) at the altar "When I saw you on the app, I said to myself 'this bitch is hot! And then I met you in person and you were even hotter!' " They divorced within 4 years and have a young child with special needs.

I like how you drop the "special needs" part in as if that was their just punishment. Asshole.

?? That's not why I included it.

Not PP, but why did you include it? How is it relevant?

I think it could potentially be relevant. Special needs children complicate marriages and divorces.

[Anonymous]

If bride or groom are under 26 I assume they will divorce. More likely if it is groom or both. Just bride, they have a slightly better chance

[Anonymous]

Yes -- DH was the best man for a college friend. Both the bride and groom are terrific people, but not a good match, which was evident from the toasts at the wedding. I can remember a colleague of the groom's whispering, "Train wreck's a-comin'". He was right. They split up after maybe 15 years -- a relatively civil divorce -- and are both happily remarried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup, and they didn't even last two weeks. Groom was gay.

I've seen plenty where I knew I wouldn't tolerate being treated the way they treated each other, but they're all still married. Lots of Stockholm Syndrome marriages out there.

You never really know what goes on inside a marriage. Who are you to call them "Stockholm Syndrome marriages"? Is your marriage perfect?

[Anonymous]

The divorce rate is 50 percent. Before you all pat yourselves on the back for being so perceptive or whatever, basically if you say you don't think a marriage will last, you've got a 50-50 shot at being right.

Marriage takes work. I've seen some couples evolve and work through things I never thought a couple could work through, and they came out stronger. I've also seen marriages DCUM would insist are set up for success, the kind with all of the boxes checked off, and they turned out to be hollow partnerships. They were Instagram perfect, but IRL, they were empty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a few “odd couple” friends who divorced, but some who are still together and have kids and seem happy. You never can tell. I had one friend who married THE BIGGEST JERK (IMO) I’ve ever met. I could tell some real stories about this guy. They were young when they met and young when they married. He matured and turned out to be a pretty good husband and dad. Now it would surprise me if they did divorce.

This times a million. Some people are rough around the edges when they get married, but actually being married helps them grow. My husband probably falls somewhat in this category. I think when we got married, some people thought he was abrasive. But years later, he brings me coffer every morning in bed -- every morning. He does all of the grocery shopping. He remembers the things I like and makes sure he gets the right flavor ice cream. He's attentive in ways other people don't see.

People are complicated. They grow and change over time. It's hard to see and know a person through and through.

So far all of the divorces in my circle of friends have been couples people thought were nearly perfect, well matched, cute, etc. What you see on the outside is just that -- the stuff on the outside.

[Anonymous]

*coffee, not coffer

[Anonymous]

OF course, that's when you and the other guest get a pool going. Easy way to make some cash.

[Anonymous]

My relative was in a polyamorous relationship and they got married in a traditional ceremony and reception. She was a hot mess. He was an incredibly attractive and fit guy. Both in mid-late twenties. I thought it would definitely not last. About 5 years later they are still going strong, still actively polyamorous (with precautions in the pandemic). We have bi weekly zoom calls with the relative and her DH and me and my DH and I have to say he seems incredibly supportive and loving. Who knew?

[Anonymous]

A couple of my sorority sisters married complete scumbag jerks. They're all actually still together. For as much hype as the divorce epidemic gets, most couples we know seem to stick together.

[Anonymous]

Yep. But what I've learned is you can't tell a woman in love nada. Everyone has to walk their own path and learn for themselves. Ain't that what life is all about anyway?

[Anonymous]

Yes, my friend married her son’s father long after they broke up. Their son had non-HF autism and was impossibly for her to physically manage on her own. They were just going to cohabitate, but there was opposition from religious family. They have been miserable.

[Anonymous]

Yep. College roommate. Two marriages, two divorces. I had a gut feeling neither one would last, but hoped for the best – at least the first time. I’m still friends with both of them. Groom in marriage 2 was a total jerk, so no real loss.

[Anonymous]

I have been friends with a totally nice and smart guy. I went to his wedding to a woman who was known to be full of drama and extremely unpleasant. They had known each other for 5 months or so. They had actually come as guests to my wedding a couple months previously. I didn't think it would work out- they divorced after 3 years.

Well fast forward it turns out my ex was an abusive a$$hol3 and I got a divorce too.....and I ended up marrying my friend!! He is the best person I could ever imagine being with and we will be married 15 years this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, and they didn't even last two weeks. Groom was gay.

I've seen plenty where I knew I wouldn't tolerate being treated the way they treated each other, but they're all still married. Lots of Stockholm Syndrome marriages out there.

You never really know what goes on inside a marriage. Who are you to call them "Stockholm Syndrome marriages"? Is your marriage perfect?

Nope, I divorced my cheating husband because I don't tolerate being disrespected -- unlike the many friends I was referring to above. I don't need to know what goes on behind closed doors. What went on in public was bad enough.