| Of course but what can you do. |
| Yes 2 couples and both ended up divorced. One after only about 18 months of marriage and the other after a decade or so. But the writing was always on the wall, neither could should have married. They spouses had nothing in common and were just bad matches. |
NP. It also could be relevant because having a SN child can put a tremendous strain on a marriage and that may have contributed to the divorce. |
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Yes! One I actually skipped the wedding but I knew they were a hot mess and could tell they wouldn't make it. Lasted long enough to have 2 kids and then divorced.
There's a handful of other ones that I had put in my "skeptical this will work" folder. A few of those are still going strong (roughly 10 years or so) and one has already ended in divorce. So of about 5 I thought wouldn't make it, 2 were correct. The other 3 have either worked out their issues, are living with them or i am still completely baffled how they make it work because one of the couple seems to suck SO badly. |
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I can think of three that we thought were terrible ideas.
1. Good friend was adamantly anti marriage and anti commitment. He was a great guy, not a womanizer, but didn't really enjoy being part of a "partnership". He got whirlwind engaged within a year, admitted her immigrant family wasn't big on unmarried relationships, and that that may have expeditated things. He's a fantastic guy and i suspect never lied to her, but maybe tried to convince himself this was something he wanted. Divorced in a year. 2. My sister. Mom and i thought it was 5 years at best. Twelve years and going very strong. 3. DH's best friend. Thought it was a disaster. Another friend cried at their wedding because she was so sad that this guy would marry this woman who was clearly so wrong for him. 14 years later and still married, but they HATE each other. Financially things haven't worked out, so they feel stuck. |
| Yes of course. I have been to several weddings where I knew the relationship was doomed. In all 3 cases, divorce within 5 yrs. |
I have a SN kid and I interpreted it as relevant because it underscores what’s at stake with these questionable marriages. A bad marriage in one thing but it’s way worse when there are kids and way worse when those kids have SN. It’s selfish of the individuals to bring a child into that, and their selfishness has a particular impact on a child with SN. |
O'rilly? I thought this thread was about couples literally doomed before the start of their marriage. Weak try. |
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Three couples-- they got married too young.
The women were all three strong personalities with tons of unrealized potential and had married unchallenging, uninteresting partners. All three eventually divorced and all three women remarried highly intelligent, ambitious men. |
| I went to a nephews wedding about 7 years ago and could tell it wasn't going to work out. They both seemed like lost souls. |
| Yes. It was so obvious that the bride's parents even tried to talk her out of it the day before the wedding, despite the wedding being a very expensive pageant. They divorced a few years later after having one kid. |
Just chiming in here to say this. Everybody was like "They're doomed. She's awful, he's awful," whatever and they still have the same dysfunctional dynamic but they're still together. Who knows what makes other people tick. |
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not a friend but my sibling. told him before they got married he should not marry her, she was emotionally instable with clear mental health issues. Marriage lasted 10 years, but mostly unhappy, I'm convinced SIL stayed 10 years and a day to be considered "long term married" for alimony purposes (which still exists in CA). Divorce took *5 years* (no kids involved, either) and bankrupted my brother (though enriched ex SIL who never worked and walked away with c. 700k).
I was disinvited to the wedding of a former friend of mine when I found out through mutual acquaintance in Europe that he had been seeing her regularly and talking about marriage--even as he moved in with his US girlfriend. European friend called me to say she hadn't heard from him in 3 weeks and he stopped calling her, answering her texts abruptly and she wanted to know if I had his "roomates" number to make sure he was okay and I said, roommate, that's his girlfriend, and we put two and two together. As far as I know, he's still married, has 3 kids and lots of affairs. |
| I had a few “odd couple” friends who divorced, but some who are still together and have kids and seem happy. You never can tell. I had one friend who married THE BIGGEST JERK (IMO) I’ve ever met. I could tell some real stories about this guy. They were young when they met and young when they married. He matured and turned out to be a pretty good husband and dad. Now it would surprise me if they did divorce. |
talk about reaching... |