Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear guests who don't want to attend:

Thank you for your honesty. I understand we are making different choices and that you don't like mine. Please don't make me feel guilty that I still need to move on with my life and don't ask me to reschedule or make me feel guilty for "not including" you

OP here. Nope, sorry. All we did was send back the reply card with “regrets.” We didn’t so much as text or call. We checked a box.

And then the phone calls and triangulated campaign started...

It would have been nice to at least call or write a proper note with your regrets and wish them well. Checking a box is a bit dismissive.

What? The bride and groom gave them a reply card. They complied. What's your issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear guests who don't want to attend:

Thank you for your honesty. I understand we are making different choices and that you don't like mine. Please don't make me feel guilty that I still need to move on with my life and don't ask me to reschedule or make me feel guilty for "not including" you

OP here. Nope, sorry. All we did was send back the reply card with “regrets.” We didn’t so much as text or call. We checked a box.

And then the phone calls and triangulated campaign started...

It would have been nice to at least call or write a proper note with your regrets and wish them well. Checking a box is a bit dismissive.

It’s a pre-printed SASE sent with the wedding invite for exactly that purpose.

Plus, invite me to your COVID event, and I feel very free to dismiss you.

“Plus, invite me to your COVID event, and I feel very free to dismiss you.”

Exactly. Anyone sending wedding invitations to me or my family right now is not only dismissed by me for this event, but for life. I see your true colors and want nothing to do with selfish, anti-science people. If I happen to see you in the distant future, I will be cordial. But I will no longer invest in any relationship with selfish, toxic, stupid people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole thing sucks right now. We’re having a covid ceremony and too many people are asking to come! We have to figure out how to say no to the people who want the option of attending the “local” event when it’s not an event it’s just us getting legally married so we can move on with our lives as a couple before the bigger wedding reception later!

Just cancel it! Don't have A Thing, then people can't ask to come to The Thing or be disappointed that you didn't invite them to The Thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you are married you realize like many other things, wedding suck and are a waste of money. Make it small, nobody enjoys them, they all lie when they tell you they had such a great time and nobody thinks your bridesmaid dresses looked so great.

just being honest and saying what many of us think.

Speak for yourself. I love attending weddings. How often do you get to go dancing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you are married you realize like many other things, wedding suck and are a waste of money. Make it small, nobody enjoys them, they all lie when they tell you they had such a great time and nobody thinks your bridesmaid dresses looked so great.

just being honest and saying what many of us think.

Speak for yourself. I love attending weddings. How often do you get to go dancing?

Not now, of course, but in normal times I love a big wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.

I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...

Obviously, the healthy 22-year-old is actually elderly or obese, and you just did not notice. [/s]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the MOH for a wedding shortly after New Year. The rest of the bridal party dropped out. I'm the last one standing. The bride is my sister. I really REALLY do not want to do this. It involves travel and lots of indoor socializing with lots of people in a state that's in COVID denial and hasn't limited gatherings or encouraged masks. But she's made it clear that she's getting married in a specific time and place, and if people don't show up, well she'll learn to accept the fact that her closest family and friends don't truly love her.
It is beyond selfish, and I don't know how to back out without ruining our relationship for life.

You should turn the table on her. you are happy to take part to her wedding by zoom or if she postpone it to after Covid and if she insists on demanding your physical presence to a wedding now then you know she does not truly love you and she will ruin your relationship for life.

if she loved you, she would not risk your life so you can attend a ceremony in person, when she can simply get married now and then do a party next summer when it is safe. you can get sick and die, or you can have a serious case and have bad health problem long term. my sister is overseas and told me that she and her long time boyfriend are getting married. she is waiting for the covid situation to go away so we can all travel. having the wedding now did not even cross her mind because she values the health of her family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.

I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...

Obviously, the healthy 22-year-old is actually elderly or obese, and you just did not notice. [/s]

Shut the fuk up. You are wrong, and you are stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the MOH for a wedding shortly after New Year. The rest of the bridal party dropped out. I'm the last one standing. The bride is my sister. I really REALLY do not want to do this. It involves travel and lots of indoor socializing with lots of people in a state that's in COVID denial and hasn't limited gatherings or encouraged masks. But she's made it clear that she's getting married in a specific time and place, and if people don't show up, well she'll learn to accept the fact that her closest family and friends don't truly love her.
It is beyond selfish, and I don't know how to back out without ruining our relationship for life.

She is a selfish jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.

I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...

Obviously, the healthy 22-year-old is actually elderly or obese, and you just did not notice. [/s]

Shut the fuk up. You are wrong, and you are stupid.

Interesting, isn't it, that it "almost never happens" but there are multiple examples here, as well as in mainstream media?

Smaller percentages of very large numbers are not going to stay small numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.

I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...

Obviously, the healthy 22-year-old is actually elderly or obese, and you just did not notice. [/s]

Shut the fuk up. You are wrong, and you are stupid.

Interesting, isn't it, that it "almost never happens" but there are multiple examples here, as well as in mainstream media?

Smaller percentages of very large numbers are not going to stay small numbers.

Cases are skyrocketing every day, nimrod. With more cases come more bad cases, more hospitalizations, and more deaths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the MOH for a wedding shortly after New Year. The rest of the bridal party dropped out. I'm the last one standing. The bride is my sister. I really REALLY do not want to do this. It involves travel and lots of indoor socializing with lots of people in a state that's in COVID denial and hasn't limited gatherings or encouraged masks. But she's made it clear that she's getting married in a specific time and place, and if people don't show up, well she'll learn to accept the fact that her closest family and friends don't truly love her.
It is beyond selfish, and I don't know how to back out without ruining our relationship for life.

I’m a MOH in an upcoming wedding, too. We should start a support group. I’ve pushed back on the bride and she’s a nurse who expects to be vaccinated by the end of the year so she feels like she has no reason to postpone or change plans at all. Not a care in the world that we won’t all be vaccinated by the wedding. I also don’t want to ruin our relationship forever (my bride is a best friend, not a sister). I feel your pain!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.

I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...

Obviously, the healthy 22-year-old is actually elderly or obese, and you just did not notice. [/s]

Shut the fuk up. You are wrong, and you are stupid.

Interesting, isn't it, that it "almost never happens" but there are multiple examples here, as well as in mainstream media?

Smaller percentages of very large numbers are not going to stay small numbers.

Cases are skyrocketing every day, nimrod. With more cases come more bad cases, more hospitalizations, and more deaths.

Precisely.

There is a recurrent refrain on DCUM from some who minimize the risk to anyone who is not "fat" or "old." That's what you should be railing against. When you have 200,000 new cases a day, small percentages are no longer going to be insignificant in terms of numbers.

Or did you not know what "[/s]" means?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the MOH for a wedding shortly after New Year. The rest of the bridal party dropped out. I'm the last one standing. The bride is my sister. I really REALLY do not want to do this. It involves travel and lots of indoor socializing with lots of people in a state that's in COVID denial and hasn't limited gatherings or encouraged masks. But she's made it clear that she's getting married in a specific time and place, and if people don't show up, well she'll learn to accept the fact that her closest family and friends don't truly love her.
It is beyond selfish, and I don't know how to back out without ruining our relationship for life.

I’m a MOH in an upcoming wedding, too. We should start a support group. I’ve pushed back on the bride and she’s a nurse who expects to be vaccinated by the end of the year so she feels like she has no reason to postpone or change plans at all. Not a care in the world that we won’t all be vaccinated by the wedding. I also don’t want to ruin our relationship forever (my bride is a best friend, not a sister). I feel your pain!!

Why would you want to be friends with a selfish, stupid person?

If her test of friendship was Russian Roulette, would you play? What if it was driving from LA to Chicago, no seatbelts allowed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the MOH for a wedding shortly after New Year. The rest of the bridal party dropped out. I'm the last one standing. The bride is my sister. I really REALLY do not want to do this. It involves travel and lots of indoor socializing with lots of people in a state that's in COVID denial and hasn't limited gatherings or encouraged masks. But she's made it clear that she's getting married in a specific time and place, and if people don't show up, well she'll learn to accept the fact that her closest family and friends don't truly love her.
It is beyond selfish, and I don't know how to back out without ruining our relationship for life.

I’m a MOH in an upcoming wedding, too. We should start a support group. I’ve pushed back on the bride and she’s a nurse who expects to be vaccinated by the end of the year so she feels like she has no reason to postpone or change plans at all. Not a care in the world that we won’t all be vaccinated by the wedding. I also don’t want to ruin our relationship forever (my bride is a best friend, not a sister). I feel your pain!!

Why would you want to be friends with a selfish, stupid person?

If her test of friendship was Russian Roulette, would you play? What if it was driving from LA to Chicago, no seatbelts allowed?

I’m not going to the events, just serving as MOH w/r/t planning and paying for things. I’m planning to record my speech so that she can play it at the reception. It’s causing a huge strain on the friendship which upsets me to no end, but I’m not participating in the events. It’s not safe. I’m just hoping to come out of this whole ordeal without covid and with one of my closest friends.