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What the number of children you have say about you?
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Anonymous
Let's be friends. |
Anonymous
This must be really tough. We take so many things for granted until we are faced with "real" challenges. |
Anonymous
| I never understood why people who seemed so stressed out and overwhelmed with the number of children they have decide to have more. When i was in high school, I baby sat for family with two children. The mom was always stressed, yelling, overwhelmed, etc.., etc.. but they had two additional kids. I just don't get it. |
Anonymous
I think there are many women who feel the same way you do but it's taboo to admit things like this. |
Anonymous
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I think 17:23 listed some good reasons. I would say I agree with everything the poster said about 1 or 2 children. I try to be very careful because lots of people when the 1st child is 2-3 years old it's very common for the couple to be trying for a 2nd. Although I wonder, I don't ask because you never know if fertility issues or miscarriages are in play.
Let's see, when you see 2 or 3 of one sex and then the youngest is the other - I think, oh you kept going until you got the boy or girl. When we see the dad with 4 girls - we think - TPB (that poor bast%%%). You have the whole daddy's girl dynamic and you know if someone had to make sure their dad got to his doctor's appts when he was older it would likely be the daughters versus sons - but the teenage years - will be rough. Mom with 4 children - wow, better person than I am. I wish I could pull it off. Not sure if I could take the chaos or organized enough. When I see someone with 5 or 6 kids or more in this area (expensive and not like the old days where you had a big family to help work on the farm) - I assume very religious - maybe Mormon or Catholic. Could go either way as in they have enough money to send to a religious school or someone can stay at home and homeschool. But this can go the other way - when you read someone with 5 or 6 or more kids that needs government help - you wonder why would you have so many kids you can't support. Two in the double stroller (not twins)- oh my. That was me. For some it was planned especially if they feel they started late with the family and want to have maybe 3 kids or even two and be done by a certain age. For me it was an oops - but one I am very grateful for. |
Anonymous
Couldn't hack it, huh? That's OK. Not everyone was meant to raise a family. |
Anonymous
Happy raising a family. Wouldn't be happy raising a litter. |
Anonymous
i wouldn't say 3 is foolish. The only thing I see wrong with it is that the population has grown way too quickly on this Earth. I would say more than 4 and you run the risk of not being able to spend as much time with each child, but I wouldn't say gross...19 children...well, maybe that's gross. |
Anonymous
| I was overwhelmed and not so happy before I had children, and now I am overwhelmed and happy. Why does that mean that I shouldn't have more? They are all safe and loved and clothed and fed. |
Anonymous
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I think once you get to 19 kinds, you're no longer raising a family...you're hoarding.
Sort of an unrelated question. I don't think it's gross to have more than 3 children, but who can afford to have more than 3 children in this area? If you've got the means and the patience to deal with the chaos, good for you. |
Anonymous
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I come from a family of 4 and want to have 4. I love my siblings. Life will be very, very expensive but my family chose to put us in a religious (jewish) private school and forgo new cars, vacations, and expensive clothes and we'll probably do the same.
College is possible with financial aid, scholarships, and loans. Bills only last so many years but I have my siblings around for a lifetime. |
Anonymous
Yes it is. But, it is difficult. And, sometimes crushing. And, it can limit your choices if you feel you have to pick job X in order to pay back your loans. And, as someone who was saddled with large loans, it is not something I'd like my child to be saddled with. I take the view that their job is to be a student and do well. I don't want her worrying about the money. I hope that she'll get scholarships and work hard to help lessen the burden that way. But, you can't count on that. The thing is people with the large families put people with onlys at a disadvantage. Obviously, with in excess of 4 or 5 kids the need based financial scholarships will go to those families ("we have 6 kids and can't afford college for all.") I have seen it happen and it sucks. |
Anonymous
PP here - I really dont think that people should base the number of kids they want to have on whether other "onlys" children will get their financial aid. Thats a little ridiculous. Also, my parents have complained about money for my entire life. They were never able to afford anything extra and every year I went to school and was told that if I got called to the office bc my mom hadnt paid tution yet, to call her and she would try to work something out. To this day, my dad drives a 1980-something volvo and my mom drives a 1998 van. They constantly complain about money and it stresses my mom out to no end. At one point, it made me rethink the number of kids I wanted to have. While my mom always felt "poor", as kids, we never did. We might not have gotten the fancy jeans or new car that our other friends got, but we had everything we needed and I learned to babysit and work at the mall when I needed or wanted extra cash. Ultimately, I think its a matter of how you budget and prioritize. I have college and grad school loans and I am figuring it out. If it was too expensive, I should have picked a state school. My parents are not paying any tuition anymore and they still have money trouble bc they are irresponsible with their income. We currently have 2 very close in age and plan to wait a few years before having any others, but as expensive as childcare is right now (and all the other child related expenses), I couldnt imagine not having any more. |
Anonymous
Okay, that's just a bizarre thought process. I guess you're assuming that all child-bearing couples will make exactly the same amount of money. Financial aid isn't based on number of offspring, it's based on financial need, and that varies widely from family to family, regardless of number of children. You can be poor and have one child or very wealthy with six kids. Bummer that those only children in your example weren't "poor" enough to get the financial aid. Time to throw a pity party. |
Anonymous
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Knowing there are exceptions, I always see the following stereotypes:
1 = two working parents 2 = pretty typical 3 = very well-to-do 4 or more = religiously motivated' Of course all this goes out the window anyway if there are multiples, a divorce, or big age gaps involved. |