How to feel okay that I may never get married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kamala met Doug in her 40s!

+1 was just about to say... if anything look at Kamala.

Oh phleeeeze. She's an outlier - a highly educated, charismatic woman who has the opportunity to meet people that few can.

[Anonymous]

I am in my 60's and have never been married, and am very content and successful.

How often do you see couples (that you actually know well), that you envy? I can name one or two. The rest, are saddled with people you could not pay me to live with.

I can't imagine having to consult someone else about how I spend my money, where I go on vacation, where I will move when I retire.

The few times I have thought, "it might be nice to have someone to support me through this difficult period" ... a married (or divorced) person remarked, "that is because you are imagining they would make you feel better. Sometimes your partner makes you feel worse."

My point is not that you would have been miserable married, but that much of your happiness is produced by what you do and think. No other person can "save" you from yourself. Work on nurturing your best qualities, and feeling proud of them. That should be your insurance, whether or not you ever get married. (HUGS)

[Anonymous]

I’m 34 and recently divorced with a toddler. I am not sure I will ever want to get married again- committed to someone, yes, but married, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 and still single. Multiple serious relationships but while a few of them wanted to get married, I have never felt like it was a good enough match for marriage.

Anyway, I would rather be in a great or good marriage than be single. But I would rather be single than be in a poor or mediocre marriage. And as you get older you seem that a lot of marriages kind of suck. Especially for women. This is easier for me to say because I have always been ok without having kids - I’m neutral on that. But a lot of women who are married really get the short end of the stick, op.

This. I was married. I was afraid of getting the short end of the stick. I did. It was very unhappy. I'm divorced. Marriage is not always the best way to live and society romanticizes it too much. Being single is far better than being in a bad or lonely marrriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, I’ll be 39 this month. I’ve had good relationships but they never turned into anything serious enough to get married. I’m trying to practice being okay that this may never happen for me. How do I do this? Anyone stay single and can share advice on how I can be okay with this?

Every family needs a Great Aunt Helen! This may be you.

You are really a terrible person.

Agreed. Talk about a lack of empathy.

[Anonymous]

My friend got married in her early 40’s. She had frozen her eggs a few years earlier, and now just had a baby.

I actually didn’t care about getting married, but I sort of wanted kids. I got married in my late 30’s.

[Anonymous]

I’m the OP, and reading. Just don’t have a whole lot to say. I miscarried a child and that was traumatizing so I’m a little apprehensive to have children.

[Anonymous]

Don’t get married. Live free and do whatever you want to do!

[Anonymous]

My previous boyfriend said, when I met him: "It's not that I have never been married, it's that I've never been divorced."

He put a big smile on my face on that first date, and i spent a fun 2 years with him.

I did have a child on my own at 44, and I am now 59 and still not married. Not really looking anymore; Life is goooood. My teen son and I are close and he "keeps an eye on me." My hero, lol. He is my pacer as I am training for a marathon. He needs to "approve" my boyfriends if we look like we are getting serious. Gotta love it. Time is ticking til he goes away to college. Sigh.

I know what it is to want something and not get it *when* you want , OP. I wanted my own house, I wanted a job overseas, I wanted my child. They all came, just not on MY schedule. Maybe you will find a husband, OP. Just not on your schedule.

[Anonymous]

This thread is way less judgy and far more heartwarming than I expected. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP, and reading. Just don’t have a whole lot to say. I miscarried a child and that was traumatizing so I’m a little apprehensive to have children.

OP, please accept my condolences. That is a painful experience and I hope you have/had support because that is important. I’ll be at least one soul in the world believing for your rainbow — whatever that looks like and holds the greatest meaningfulness to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's better to be single than in a shitty marriage.

“Most people are either single and lonely or married and miserable.”

- Chris Rock

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's better to be single than in a shitty marriage.

“Most people are either single and lonely or married and miserable.”

- Chris Rock

Just get yourself a hot man from abroad. Turn on the gaydar though.

[Anonymous]

Also 39 not married. Ended a relationship with a well off handsome man who was 35 because I couldn't let go of the fact he cheated. Wasted 7 fckig years with that mofo. Men are selfish that they don't care about you just dtop you like a piece of meat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kamala met Doug in her 40s!

+1 was just about to say... if anything look at Kamala.

Oh phleeeeze. She's an outlier - a highly educated, charismatic woman who has the opportunity to meet people that few can.

Any woman can meet a man. Look outside your usual circle. Expand your preferences.