My son is short - help me get over it please

[Anonymous]

Michael J Fox

[Anonymous]

One of best friends is 5’4” or 5’5”. He’s happy, always been well liked, etc. Cute family and has an awesome job at a hedge fund in Manhattan.

[Anonymous]

My high school best friend is 5'4 and her husband is 5'6. Another good friend is around 5'6, and her husband is 5'3, which has not stopped him from having a fantastic life and career. 5'6 is not that short, OP.

[Anonymous]

5'6" is not short. I know a couple of guys who are close to 5'. One of them is a pretty bitter person. The other one has always been really popular and has a million friends. Both are married with kids. Don't let being short define who he is.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you everyone for the comments, encouragement, and examples. of short stature not being an impediment. I’m going to work hard to make sure my anxieties don’t turn into a negative influence on him. I really appreciate everyone’s support.

[Anonymous]

I generally find the guys with the best personalities are the shorter guys. They have developed their confidence over the years.

When women get smart and are ready to look for a permanent partner they will go for the fun, nice, kind, respectful, will-be-a-great-father guy who happens to be short.

Personal experience.

[Anonymous]

Please stop indulging her. Her DS is 7! That is why I called OP mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

My son wore a leg brace until he was five and he will forever have a noticeable disability. I’ve always had some guilt but he is doing so well in life, he is happy and gifted in so many ways that I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job as a mother. He doesn’t seem to let it bother him as it’s just part of who he is.

[Anonymous]

I married a guy who i had gone to middle school with. In middle school he was the shortest kid every year. We went on one "date" in 7th grade because we were being fixed up and I was the shortest girl (5 ft 0). He was about the same. Never really interacted with him again. He was in all AP classes in high school and I was only in a couple of them.

Fast forward to the HS 20th reunion. A very --VERY-- good looking guy around 5'8"came up to me to say hi and of course it was him. I did not recognize him. He was absolutely gorgeous. He even said, "yeah, I had a growth spurt. 1st year of college." He was still "short" in they eyes of the world but every woman there - married or single -- had their eyes on him. I won. And I was still 5 ft. 0.

[Anonymous]

My DS will be short, too. I know it’s stupid, but this list of pro soccer players helps.

https://www.themodestman.com/shortest-soccer-players/

My kid isn’t particularly athletic, but he’s not unathletic either. We are teaching him the rules, so he can participate in social settings. We might put him in rec once COVID is over, if he’s interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, he’s fine. 5’6” isn’t short. It isn’t tall, but isn’t short either. My cousin married a guy who was 5’6” and she was 5’10”. People would tease, but he would just laugh and say that she didn’t have anything he couldn’t reach, and that was that.

Are we related? I have the same situation. My cousin is the 5'6" guy and his wife is 5'10". They have been married 25+ years. My fave photo ever is of their wedding where she is leaning down to kiss him. Should be a Pulitzer prize photo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids is really short. 7th percentile for height. I’ve taken him for medical testing and there’s no hormonal problem, so he doesn’t qualify for growth hormone. I’ve focused on dietary supplements, but he’s a terrible eater. My other three kids are average height with one being very tall. I am short myself, but I always thought the “short genes” only ran with the women in our family since the men are all over 5’9” and my dad is 6’2”. My husband is 6’0”.

My son who is short is only 7 years old. But, at this point, with no medical problem and with his growth remaining around the 10th percentile for four years, I’m coming to realize I need to accept the fact that he’s just really small. If he stays at this percentile, the doctor predicts he will be 5’6”. It makes me feel really sad and anxious when I see him with the other boys his age and he’s a lot smaller than them. He’s also not really athletic.

He’s very smart, adorable, funny, kind. He’s an incredible kid and I feel like a total jerk for not being able to accept the blessing of a healthy child and instead feeling so upset inside about his height. There are a lot of societal stereotypes about short people and dating is hard for short men. I’m worried about teasing and him being made fun of, even as an older man.

Can someone please provide me with any helpful thoughts or wisdom to work my way through this? I hate feeling this way and just want to give him the love he deserves.

I see you have had 4 pages of advice on how to stop worrying, here's a different question for you. Where did you take him for testing? One of my good friends had to take her son to more than one doc before they identified the issue and he had treatment. He's now 5'8", obviously not super tall (at 17), but he would have been under 5'4".

If you, your DH, and your parents/grandparents are all tall, you might want to look into it further as your son gets older. You mention you are on the shorter side, that is probably a big factor. Shorter isn't much of a measure--I'm 5'9" and shorter to me includes 5'5", but if you're 5' for instance, that will have a huge impact on your kids' height. Most height predictions are +/- 4" when done by pediatric endocrinologists with full data sets, so there is obviously a lot of variability.

[Anonymous]

People gave you a lot of good advice on the emotional/parenting side of this.

But make sure to rule out celiac or other food allergies. Doctors don’t pursue medical reasons as often as they should. Genetics are important but typically a child is a mix of both parents heights, as multiple genes are at play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids is really short. 7th percentile for height. I’ve taken him for medical testing and there’s no hormonal problem, so he doesn’t qualify for growth hormone. I’ve focused on dietary supplements, but he’s a terrible eater. My other three kids are average height with one being very tall. I am short myself, but I always thought the “short genes” only ran with the women in our family since the men are all over 5’9” and my dad is 6’2”. My husband is 6’0”.

My son who is short is only 7 years old. But, at this point, with no medical problem and with his growth remaining around the 10th percentile for four years, I’m coming to realize I need to accept the fact that he’s just really small. If he stays at this percentile, the doctor predicts he will be 5’6”. It makes me feel really sad and anxious when I see him with the other boys his age and he’s a lot smaller than them. He’s also not really athletic.

He’s very smart, adorable, funny, kind. He’s an incredible kid and I feel like a total jerk for not being able to accept the blessing of a healthy child and instead feeling so upset inside about his height. There are a lot of societal stereotypes about short people and dating is hard for short men. I’m worried about teasing and him being made fun of, even as an older man.

Can someone please provide me with any helpful thoughts or wisdom to work my way through this? I hate feeling this way and just want to give him the love he deserves.

I see you have had 4 pages of advice on how to stop worrying, here's a different question for you. Where did you take him for testing? One of my good friends had to take her son to more than one doc before they identified the issue and he had treatment. He's now 5'8", obviously not super tall (at 17), but he would have been under 5'4".

If you, your DH, and your parents/grandparents are all tall, you might want to look into it further as your son gets older. You mention you are on the shorter side, that is probably a big factor. Shorter isn't much of a measure--I'm 5'9" and shorter to me includes 5'5", but if you're 5' for instance, that will have a huge impact on your kids' height. Most height predictions are +/- 4" when done by pediatric endocrinologists with full data sets, so there is obviously a lot of variability.

OP here. I took him to a pediatric endocrinologist with a great reputation in DC area. He had growth hormone simulation testing and no hormonal deficiencies. His bone growth X-ray shows he is about one year behind where he should be, which is actually good news as far as future growth potential. The equation of fathers height and my height would traditionally put him around 5’8”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People gave you a lot of good advice on the emotional/parenting side of this.

But make sure to rule out celiac or other food allergies. Doctors don’t pursue medical reasons as often as they should. Genetics are important but typically a child is a mix of both parents heights, as multiple genes are at play.

Really excellent advice.