My son is short - help me get over it please

[Anonymous]

I don't know why everyone is jumping all over this poster and telling her she's mentally ill. If you read the relationships board on here (or anywhere), you'll see how many women fret about dating a shorter man, not finding them attractive, etc. It's not fair or reasonable but a man's height is a big deal in a social context. I think the advice about no child (or person) having all "ideal" assets is a good one. There are many more things to a person than height and it's a good reminder not to place too much emphasis on any one attribute.

[Anonymous]

My brother is 5'6". He's super smart and professionally successful, very good looking, and has an equally (if not more) attractive and successful wife. Height doesn't have as much to do with it as you think.

My DH is also relatively short 5'8". And I could say all of the same things about him

[Anonymous]

Eh, he’s fine. 5’6” isn’t short. It isn’t tall, but isn’t short either. My cousin married a guy who was 5’6” and she was 5’10”. People would tease, but he would just laugh and say that she didn’t have anything he couldn’t reach, and that was that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why everyone is jumping all over this poster and telling her she's mentally ill. If you read the relationships board on here (or anywhere), you'll see how many women fret about dating a shorter man, not finding them attractive, etc. It's not fair or reasonable but a man's height is a big deal in a social context. I think the advice about no child (or person) having all "ideal" assets is a good one. There are many more things to a person than height and it's a good reminder not to place too much emphasis on any one attribute.

Agreed. I think she has a hang up she needs to get over for the good of her son, but a) society as a whole has the same issue and b) as parents we all worry about things we shouldn’t. I think it’s great that OP is trying to do better. The same cannot be said for so many parents.

[Anonymous]

5'6" is still taller than the average woman. He'll be fine!

I personally love short men (as long as they're taller than I am - 5'4"). I feel like they have a concentrated physical energy. I am kind of not into tall guys - they seem lopey and lazy to me.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should do a deep dive into why you think being short is SUCH a negative, and why you're so superficial.

[Anonymous]

If there were no short people how would we know who’s tall?

[Anonymous]

Did you have a son so you could have a tall son?

[Anonymous]

Robert Reich, Mickey Rooney, Michael J. Fox, Robert Redford, Danny Devito, Alan Ladd, just to.name a few short men.

[Anonymous]

My DH is 5’6” and I’m several inches taller. He is fabulous, caring, professionally successful and a great dad. I understand your worries (DH’s mom used to worry about his height) but your son will be fine. Please don’t project your anxieties on to him.

[Anonymous]

He might grow

[Anonymous]

DS is also seven and takes after my side of the family while his little sister is very tall taking after DH’s side. Yes, I wish it were reversed or both tall but it’s not a real concern. Honestly a bigger concern is that DS is gorgeous - actor gorgeous- while DD is cute. I worry more about societal expectations on her than him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also start working on making sure you and your family as a family rule don’t talk about and comment on other people’s bodies. I think that’s how my husbands house was such a safe place. They truly do not comment on people’s bodies - not those in their home, not extended family, not people on the street. Good and bad. Bodies are bodies and we feed them well and move them to our enjoyment is how they live their life and it creates such a safe spot! You may think you don’t do this too but after being around my husbands family I realized how much my family actually does make comments in subtle ways. Not saying oh that person is fat! Of course, but in more subtle ways that tell you how different bodies rank. So start paying attention and you will probably notice ways you are relating what are ideal bodies (this is the same for weight, you shouldn’t be relaying that a certain weight is ideal either, health and weight are not synonymous so focus on behaviors like finding ways you enjoy moving your body etc). Don’t comment on each other’s bodies if at all possible.

This.

[Anonymous]

Here’s something to help you get over it and to feel better about the terribly unfair hand your child has been dealt. My child has a chronic illness. Yours is healthy but (maybe short)... Really not seeing the tragedy here.

[Anonymous]

5’6” is not a “losing sleep over it“ height. Especially when the kid is seven. Your attitude towards this is likely to be far more damaging than his stature ever would be.