Why are parents so fixated on reopening schools in-person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:because my ES kids are basically treading water as far as learning new material. That means we either turn family time into supplement time or just accept it. Meanwhile their friends in catholic school are back full time and moving at a normal pace. It infuriates me that an adequate education is now wholly dependent on the ability to pay

Well, this is the reality of many involved parents who consider themselves an equal partner with the school system and sit and go over the day's lesson with their children and supplement. Education also needs to happen at home. Else, you will be raising brain-dead losers like Trump, Rudy and Proud Boys.

We heavily supplemented in ES before covid. ES curriculum is very slow and they don't teach many things.

+ 1

True. Just the arithmetic curriculum was so slow, confusing and ill-taught that it was unbelievable. I supplemented at home and my kids had mastered multiplication tables, long divisions and multiplication by end of 2nd grade. I saw many, many kids so lacking in basic foundational knowledge by 3rd and 4th tgrade hat everything after that - long division, fractions, word problems, percentages, ratios, exponents become Greek to them. And word problems? Dear GOD!!

Most parents are unable to teach their kids Maths because they themselves do not know the basics.

[Anonymous]

School was free childcare and parenting for many.

[Anonymous]

The answer is simple yet it continues to be discussed ad nauseum. Distance learning has created an enormous disruption for working families, making it nearly impossible for many parents to meet the demands of their jobs while managing distance learning. Many families are struggling to figure out how to manage it and there are no good choices and people are under tremendous pressure. There are a group of parents who cannot understand this for a variety of reasons:

-They were stay at home parents (mostly mothers) before the pandemic
-They were able to become stay at home parents (mostly mothers) after the pandemic
-They have BS jobs where they don't have to think or produce anything and can pull the wool over their bosses eyes by checking email every so often
-They refuse to accept any risk at all with covid and would rather accept the shitty outcomes of distance learning or reduction income

Because of the bubble of privilege in which they are living, it is very difficult for them to understand why other families want schools open for in-person learning. Hence resorting to the tiring "schools aren't child care" and other sanctimonious accusations frequently hurled in this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we have dumped so many social responsibilities on the school system—childcare, food, social skills, counseling, etc.—that we are just in a state of shock when they assert that their main job is education.

This. And now it's on the parents to get their kids to behave and actually pay attention. The parents don't have time or can't, so they want to schools open again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it's easier to tilt at windmills than it is to deal with the very scary reality that we are living during a pandemic.

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it's easier to tilt at windmills than it is to deal with the very scary reality that we are living during a pandemic.

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner.

You mean the way WTU is tilting at windmills? Or do you actually think the pandemic means we can't open schools?

This was literally just published by a public health expert. Certainly does not sound like "tilting at windmills."

"The latest data have failed to provide compelling evidence that in-person schooling leads to meaningful increases in infections in communities. While there have been some outbreaks in contexts without strong mitigation measures, there is no evidence suggesting spread within schools when effective mitigation measures are in place. Studies across geographies focused on examining the spread of the virus within schools have consistently found little compelling evidence that schools themselves are drivers of spread. While K-8 schools have shown the most success, high schools, too, have in fact done well with robust infection controls in place."


https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/11/19/covid-safe-keep-schools-open/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is simple yet it continues to be discussed ad nauseum. Distance learning has created an enormous disruption for working families, making it nearly impossible for many parents to meet the demands of their jobs while managing distance learning. Many families are struggling to figure out how to manage it and there are no good choices and people are under tremendous pressure. There are a group of parents who cannot understand this for a variety of reasons:

-They were stay at home parents (mostly mothers) before the pandemic
-They were able to become stay at home parents (mostly mothers) after the pandemic
-They have BS jobs where they don't have to think or produce anything and can pull the wool over their bosses eyes by checking email every so often
-They refuse to accept any risk at all with covid and would rather accept the shitty outcomes of distance learning or reduction income

Because of the bubble of privilege in which they are living, it is very difficult for them to understand why other families want schools open for in-person learning. Hence resorting to the tiring "schools aren't child care" and other sanctimonious accusations frequently hurled in this forum.

I would add to your list: "They can afford tutors and pods for their kids, and are not worried about their kids falling behind."

[Anonymous]

I cannot and will not send my child back to in-person school. It is too dangerous for everyone. However, it has become clear that in order for my child to keep up with his independent work in 4th grade, I have to spend 4 hours a day, at least, shepherding him through unnecessarily complex technology while teaching him how to do assignments, and that the teachers expect this as a given. It is insane. My life is collapsing, my relationship with my child is a mess, and the teachers take no responsibility for making sure he is learning: All of that is placed on me. And my child and I are blamed when he can’t finish the mountains of work he is given. The teachers need to see themselves as bearing some responsibility for the success of their students. It is absurd that parents have suddenly been placed in a situation that requires an impossible amount of work on their part with no recognition that this is not tenable. It is distance learning itself that needs to change. If teachers are going to work remotely, they need to at least take some responsibility for their students, and not shunt it all off on the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Because my kids are at a critical stage of development for academic learning, work habits, and social skills. Once this window closes, you don't get it back.

Because the burden of DL on working mothers and families is tremendous. Toxic levels of stress that were breaking me physically and mentally. I won't even start on the impact to my job and career.

Because I watched my previously thriving daughter basically shut down and refuse to learn through a virtual format. She also reverted back to separation anxiety and lost much of her independence and self confidence.

Because school is an essential service and should be treated as such. Despite exploding numbers of cases, no one suggests we should close grocery stores, doctors offices, police and EMS services, etc. We have bars and restaurants open but not schools. The inability of politicians to prioritize the needs of our children is unbelievable.

Well, you were able to do your career and job well before because someone else was parenting your child and spending time with them.

Schools are closed and bars and restaurants are not. This is because customers have the choice to go to restaurants and bars or not. If schools are open, students and teachers have no choice but to go and get COVID. Restaurants and bars are not back full force, Most of them are serving their customers remotely (delivery or takeout). Schools are also doing the same thing - teaching remotely. Yes, it sucks.

Politicians need to do a hard lockdown everywhere so that we can be free of this nightmare. But since we have an POS in the WH right now who refuses to transition, that is not going to happen for another year. Even with the vaccines.

[Anonymous]

Parents need to learn how to parent. Maybe start living in joint families.

[Anonymous]

Can people stop saying this is all about lack of parenting? It is so ridiculous. The Boomer generation would have flipped if schools were closed long term like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents need to learn how to parent. Maybe start living in joint families.

How dare you? I know how to parent. And if someone would pay me $100,000 a year to teach my child that would be one thing, but I am being expected to do that for free. I have a job. I cannot do it and also a second, unpaid job that I am not being paid for and that forces me to work an additional 8 hours for free. FIX DISTANCE LEARNING and take responsibility for your students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answer is simple yet it continues to be discussed ad nauseum. Distance learning has created an enormous disruption for working families, making it nearly impossible for many parents to meet the demands of their jobs while managing distance learning. Many families are struggling to figure out how to manage it and there are no good choices and people are under tremendous pressure. There are a group of parents who cannot understand this for a variety of reasons:

-They were stay at home parents (mostly mothers) before the pandemic
-They were able to become stay at home parents (mostly mothers) after the pandemic
-They have BS jobs where they don't have to think or produce anything and can pull the wool over their bosses eyes by checking email every so often
-They refuse to accept any risk at all with covid and would rather accept the shitty outcomes of distance learning or reduction income

Because of the bubble of privilege in which they are living, it is very difficult for them to understand why other families want schools open for in-person learning. Hence resorting to the tiring "schools aren't child care" and other sanctimonious accusations frequently hurled in this forum.

I would add to your list: "They can afford tutors and pods for their kids, and are not worried about their kids falling behind."

This addendum is key. It's about money, money, money. And people with large disposable incomes actually have more cash on hand this year because they aren't going on European vacations or eating out at nice restaurants three days a week. A lot of that money is just getting channeled into their kids and more than making up the difference in DL's shortcomings. I think a lot of the "Actually, DL is better!" crowd are wealthy public school parents whose kids actually are better off because they are getting a ton of specialized, one on one, attention from tutors and even from their parents, which they did not used to get.

Meanwhile, if you are MC or lower, you can't afford to just pay someone to watch your school age kids, and you don't have time to supplement because you are now doing 2 full-time jobs (your actual job and childcare, plus parenting which is actually a different thing than childcare). Plus, unlike wealthy parents who are hiring it out, these parents are actually sitting in the room during DL and can see how terrible it is and are horrified by how little their kids are learning and how much time is wasted on stuff like getting people to mute or turn on their cameras.

These parents are also stressed about socialization and are doing their best to provide it, but without a formal pod, its catch as catch can, and if your kid normally struggles a bit with the social side of school, it's REALLY bad now because it must all be self-initiated and you can't trust that your child will have to interact with peers by virtue of being physically near them all day at school.

I think we need to keep schools closed for the time being because of rising cases and the holidays, but I'm not content with DL nor do I think it's a long term solution, because I don't have the funds to make it one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can people stop saying this is all about lack of parenting? It is so ridiculous. The Boomer generation would have flipped if schools were closed long term like this.

Right? And my parents were the silent generation, and they would have flipped if they were suddenly expected to do this amount of teaching themselves in addition to their extremely demanding professions. I do not think schools should reopen. I do not even consider it an option. But do not expect parents to take up the slack. Distance learning does not have to be this bad. Teachers need to make sure they are keeping their students on track, and principals need to hire more teachers and more help to do what they are currently expecting parents to do. Parents cannot do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people stop saying this is all about lack of parenting? It is so ridiculous. The Boomer generation would have flipped if schools were closed long term like this.

Right? And my parents were the silent generation, and they would have flipped if they were suddenly expected to do this amount of teaching themselves in addition to their extremely demanding professions. I do not think schools should reopen. I do not even consider it an option. But do not expect parents to take up the slack. Distance learning does not have to be this bad. Teachers need to make sure they are keeping their students on track, and principals need to hire more teachers and more help to do what they are currently expecting parents to do. Parents cannot do it.

+2

Laughing at the idea of my grandparents (Silent) gleefully teaching their three Boomer kids at home for months on end without complaint. Hell, no. Most of the adults in my parents' childhood neighborhood were new to the country and could barely speak English anyway, and there were no supports in place for them back then.