Different Fitness Levels

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use the word “fitness” this many times in a conversation IRL.

OP seems really into himself and wants the hot thin wife to match.

All men want a hot thin wife. High "value" men (income/status/looks/fitness) generally expect this.
Frustration and marital instability comes when the wife does not play along.

Well, she wasn’t hot and thin when he married her, so I’m guessing he isn’t “high value.” She probably looked average for her age, but the yrs have piled on. I guess because he has many “fitness achievements” now and notices he may look better than other middle aged men with hotter wives than his, he thinks he deserves the wife.

If he were “high value” he wouldn’t have a sloth wife in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use the word “fitness” this many times in a conversation IRL.

OP seems really into himself and wants the hot thin wife to match.

Fitness is a euphemism for thin. I think the OP did himself a disservice by talking around this entire issue, when he could have just said “My wife is too fat, I would like her to lose some weight. What can I do?“ All of the hinting about working out and exercise is misleading because it cloaks his true motivation, which I guarantee his wife definitely senses. He would be better off just telling her honestly the weight not attractive to me and asking her to lose some. Or falling in love with her new curves, which would probably be less painful for both of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use the word “fitness” this many times in a conversation IRL.

OP seems really into himself and wants the hot thin wife to match.

All men want a hot thin wife. High "value" men (income/status/looks/fitness) generally expect this.
Frustration and marital instability comes when the wife does not play along.

Well, she wasn’t hot and thin when he married her, so I’m guessing he isn’t “high value.” She probably looked average for her age, but the yrs have piled on. I guess because he has many “fitness achievements” now and notices he may look better than other middle aged men with hotter wives than his, he thinks he deserves the wife.

If he were “high value” he wouldn’t have a sloth wife in the first place.

Well, my wife is a bit of a bargain shopper so that would make sense.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes a man is just too repulsive...

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you will do whatever it takes to not physically touch a repulsive husband. Could be because of different fitness levels and generational gap too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want her want her to work out because she’s fat? I think you need to get really honest about your motivations if you are looking for advice. It’s an anonymous board so you are better served being blunt.

I hate working out. I never go to the gym, but I like being thin, so I eat less. Being thin gives you more energy, so unless you want your DW to go mountain climbing with you in the summers, it might be easier to just put the fork down.

I love to eat. Never going to be thin. Working out makes me strong, not just thin, plus I can eat food I actually enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. If its a wife that is the low fitness spouse you can’t change it. Asking them to take better care of themselves will only lead to self esteem issues and never really move the needle. Women get fit for themselves first - she has to want it and enjoy the process. My ex-wife put on 60 lbs in her 20’s (we never had kids). I tried every way that I could to be a good example. Ultimately, she had other issues - she was a serial cheater and was becoming an alcaholic. We got divorced.

When I started dating again, being with someone that I was attracted to and who was enjoyed fitness was one of the higher things on my list. I’ve been remarried 17 years now and we both make time for each other to stay fit.

If the low fitness spouse is a man, tell that fat-f*ck to dust the cookie crumbs off his t*ts and hit the gym - you can’t f him any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. If its a wife that is the low fitness spouse you can’t change it. Asking them to take better care of themselves will only lead to self esteem issues and never really move the needle. Women get fit for themselves first - she has to want it and enjoy the process. My ex-wife put on 60 lbs in her 20’s (we never had kids). I tried every way that I could to be a good example. Ultimately, she had other issues - she was a serial cheater and was becoming an alcaholic. We got divorced.

When I started dating again, being with someone that I was attracted to and who was enjoyed fitness was one of the higher things on my list. I’ve been remarried 17 years now and we both make time for each other to stay fit.

If the low fitness spouse is a man, tell that fat-f*ck to dust the cookie crumbs off his t*ts and hit the gym - you can’t f him any more.

Low fitness spouse still doesn't do anything. It's a shame, because he was attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. If its a wife that is the low fitness spouse you can’t change it. Asking them to take better care of themselves will only lead to self esteem issues and never really move the needle. Women get fit for themselves first - she has to want it and enjoy the process. My ex-wife put on 60 lbs in her 20’s (we never had kids). I tried every way that I could to be a good example. Ultimately, she had other issues - she was a serial cheater and was becoming an alcaholic. We got divorced.

When I started dating again, being with someone that I was attracted to and who was enjoyed fitness was one of the higher things on my list. I’ve been remarried 17 years now and we both make time for each other to stay fit.

If the low fitness spouse is a man, tell that fat-f*ck to dust the cookie crumbs off his t*ts and hit the gym - you can’t f him any more.

Low fitness spouse still doesn't do anything. It's a shame, because he was attractive.

My ex was a beautiful woman too - dark curly hair, green eyes, big lips and a pretty smile. It was really sad to watch her let herself go and fall into alcoholism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use the word “fitness” this many times in a conversation IRL.

OP seems really into himself and wants the hot thin wife to match.

All men want a hot thin wife. High "value" men (income/status/looks/fitness) generally expect this.
Frustration and marital instability comes when the wife does not play along.

Well, she wasn’t hot and thin when he married her, so I’m guessing he isn’t “high value.” She probably looked average for her age, but the yrs have piled on. I guess because he has many “fitness achievements” now and notices he may look better than other middle aged men with hotter wives than his, he thinks he deserves the wife.

If he were “high value” he wouldn’t have a sloth wife in the first place.

+1

I’m guessing she was “skinny-fat” and is now just fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. If its a wife that is the low fitness spouse you can’t change it. Asking them to take better care of themselves will only lead to self esteem issues and never really move the needle. Women get fit for themselves first - she has to want it and enjoy the process. My ex-wife put on 60 lbs in her 20’s (we never had kids). I tried every way that I could to be a good example. Ultimately, she had other issues - she was a serial cheater and was becoming an alcaholic. We got divorced.

When I started dating again, being with someone that I was attracted to and who was enjoyed fitness was one of the higher things on my list. I’ve been remarried 17 years now and we both make time for each other to stay fit.

If the low fitness spouse is a man, tell that fat-f*ck to dust the cookie crumbs off his t*ts and hit the gym - you can’t f him any more.

Low fitness spouse still doesn't do anything. It's a shame, because he was attractive.

My ex was a beautiful woman too - dark curly hair, green eyes, big lips and a pretty smile. It was really sad to watch her let herself go and fall into alcoholism.

And what are you doing to help her?

As the spouse who “fell” into alcoholism, let me tell you, my spouse still doesn’t give a f*ck about me. I get up before everyone else to exercise. He exercises while I clean up after making dinner, and While I’m do nighttime routine/put DD to bed. I’m glad I figured out that not everyone’s spouse supports them, and I would die waiting for help. I’m drowning now, but in a different way. At least I know what he really thinks.

I’m sure he likes me more now, but I despise him.

[Anonymous]

DH and I were super active when we married. Was able to stay that way for a few years with gym membership, biking, sunning. I love sports and physical activity of all sorts. DH is more of the individual fitness. I go out now and play with the kids all the time. Otherwise, I m not sure I would be motivated to do things solo.

Kudos to you for trying to find something you can do together. So many opportunities - biking, skiing, hiking, paddle board, etc. Maybe scheduling an event that would ultimately be active cloistered in a fun weekend event?
I also love to walk with a friend during the day (both WFH now). Is there someone she would like to schedule a walk with during the day?

Last thought is that she may be depressed (as so many people are, these days especially).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. If its a wife that is the low fitness spouse you can’t change it. Asking them to take better care of themselves will only lead to self esteem issues and never really move the needle. Women get fit for themselves first - she has to want it and enjoy the process. My ex-wife put on 60 lbs in her 20’s (we never had kids). I tried every way that I could to be a good example. Ultimately, she had other issues - she was a serial cheater and was becoming an alcaholic. We got divorced.

When I started dating again, being with someone that I was attracted to and who was enjoyed fitness was one of the higher things on my list. I’ve been remarried 17 years now and we both make time for each other to stay fit.

If the low fitness spouse is a man, tell that fat-f*ck to dust the cookie crumbs off his t*ts and hit the gym - you can’t f him any more.

Low fitness spouse still doesn't do anything. It's a shame, because he was attractive.

My ex was a beautiful woman too - dark curly hair, green eyes, big lips and a pretty smile. It was really sad to watch her let herself go and fall into alcoholism.

And what are you doing to help her?

As the spouse who “fell” into alcoholism, let me tell you, my spouse still doesn’t give a f*ck about me. I get up before everyone else to exercise. He exercises while I clean up after making dinner, and While I’m do nighttime routine/put DD to bed. I’m glad I figured out that not everyone’s spouse supports them, and I would die waiting for help. I’m drowning now, but in a different way. At least I know what he really thinks.

I’m sure he likes me more now, but I despise him.

I divorced her after multiple affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. If its a wife that is the low fitness spouse you can’t change it. Asking them to take better care of themselves will only lead to self esteem issues and never really move the needle. Women get fit for themselves first - she has to want it and enjoy the process. My ex-wife put on 60 lbs in her 20’s (we never had kids). I tried every way that I could to be a good example. Ultimately, she had other issues - she was a serial cheater and was becoming an alcaholic. We got divorced.

When I started dating again, being with someone that I was attracted to and who was enjoyed fitness was one of the higher things on my list. I’ve been remarried 17 years now and we both make time for each other to stay fit.

If the low fitness spouse is a man, tell that fat-f*ck to dust the cookie crumbs off his t*ts and hit the gym - you can’t f him any more.

Low fitness spouse still doesn't do anything. It's a shame, because he was attractive.

My ex was a beautiful woman too - dark curly hair, green eyes, big lips and a pretty smile. It was really sad to watch her let herself go and fall into alcoholism.

And what are you doing to help her?

As the spouse who “fell” into alcoholism, let me tell you, my spouse still doesn’t give a f*ck about me. I get up before everyone else to exercise. He exercises while I clean up after making dinner, and While I’m do nighttime routine/put DD to bed. I’m glad I figured out that not everyone’s spouse supports them, and I would die waiting for help. I’m drowning now, but in a different way. At least I know what he really thinks.

I’m sure he likes me more now, but I despise him.

I divorced her after multiple affairs.

Super admirable. Wonder why she drank with you?