Husband Wants To Move..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that kids aren't kids if they don't have a backyard is ridiculous. Tons of kids are raised in cities.

I would not move to either of those two states. I'd pick New England or parts of CA.

Yes, but given the choice, a yard for kids is always better.

Better is relative. Sure a yard is nice, but is it better for a kid to have a yard or to not spend their childhood racially bullied, orthered, discriminated against, and face microaggressions from the time they are 3 years old until they are 18? Social and emotional health is very important in kids too.

OP here. Many of my family members are Hispanic, black, and Asian. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy.

This response is totally uncalled for. You asked a question and I gave my feedback based on my person experience. I did not insult you. However, you took it upon yourself to insult me and downplay the racism nonwhites do face on this country.

Perhaps you should have also prefaced your post with you only wante input from white posters, and POC who agree with your world view. The same way you stated you didn't want to talk politics.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP says "this has nothing to do with politics, so please leave that out of it." How white and privileged of you. Almost quaint.

OP here. I’m far from privileged. I grew up very poor in a neighborhood where I was the only white family. My siblings and I were builder often because of it. My brother was beat up on a daily basis by a group of kids because we didn’t belong there. Racism exists but that doesn’t mean every single POC is targeted by racial attacks.

[Anonymous]

I think you will fit right in in Texas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP says "this has nothing to do with politics, so please leave that out of it." How white and privileged of you. Almost quaint.

OP here. I’m far from privileged. I grew up very poor in a neighborhood where I was the only white family. My siblings and I were builder often because of it. My brother was beat up on a daily basis by a group of kids because we didn’t belong there. Racism exists but that doesn’t mean every single POC is targeted by racial attacks.

NO here. I'm going to tell you what you told me. Many of ,y fa,ily member are white. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy. Hopefully they have that in Texas or Colorado.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you will fit right in in Texas

Yup.

[Anonymous]

I've lived in both Dallas and Colorado. They are enormously different. Aside from the weather, Dallas has more sprawl and less outdoor recreation. You'll find more sidewalks, parks, and playgrounds in a Colorado neighborhood. The lots will be smaller in Colorado because they go for the shared community space concept. For people who dislike Colorado, they tend to not like the arid climate which means not many trees for most of the most populated areas. The front range of Colorado is a lot flatter than most people expect. The mountains have the trees and the snow.

If you're okay with TX weather, consider the Atlanta suburbs as well. I lived in Fayette County, GA and liked it much more than I expected. The northern suburbs of Atlanta are very popular and worth a look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will not be able to walk anywhere in Dallas. Even if you were proximate to attractions it is brutally hot much of the year during much the day. You’re looking at an existence in air conditioning or by the pool or in the car.

Also think carefully about whether you want to move or an area where only one of you already has friends. Moving during Covid could make building new social networks hard. You’d be dependent upon his network. Do you like them?

Another thought - what do you mean by good schools? In teacher networks Texas is not known for being a good place to work. I believe science textbooks in Texas have to finesse facts to satisfy evangelicals. Do you want to live where climate change is seen as dubious?

The only part of your post that makes me think Texas May be a good fit for you was the “no politics” bit. The idea that you can consider moving anywhere and not consider politics is laughable. Probably an idea shared by other privileged Texans.

OP here. I’m good friends with them too. They moved after the husbands residency for a job there.

The schools are considered some of the best.

I know politics will be everywhere. I meant not to turn into a political debate on here because it’s seems almost every thread on here gets turned to politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will not be able to walk anywhere in Dallas. Even if you were proximate to attractions it is brutally hot much of the year during much the day. You’re looking at an existence in air conditioning or by the pool or in the car.

Also think carefully about whether you want to move or an area where only one of you already has friends. Moving during Covid could make building new social networks hard. You’d be dependent upon his network. Do you like them?

Another thought - what do you mean by good schools? In teacher networks Texas is not known for being a good place to work. I believe science textbooks in Texas have to finesse facts to satisfy evangelicals. Do you want to live where climate change is seen as dubious?

The only part of your post that makes me think Texas May be a good fit for you was the “no politics” bit. The idea that you can consider moving anywhere and not consider politics is laughable. Probably an idea shared by other privileged Texans.

OP here. I’m good friends with them too. They moved after the husbands residency for a job there.

The schools are considered some of the best.

I know politics will be everywhere. I meant not to turn into a political debate on here because it’s seems almost every thread on here gets turned to politics.

That doesn't explain your racism though.
And if you wanted advice about relocating there are forums for that. But you posted here an behaved like an asshat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP says "this has nothing to do with politics, so please leave that out of it." How white and privileged of you. Almost quaint.

OP here. I’m far from privileged. I grew up very poor in a neighborhood where I was the only white family. My siblings and I were builder often because of it. My brother was beat up on a daily basis by a group of kids because we didn’t belong there. Racism exists but that doesn’t mean every single POC is targeted by racial attacks.

NO here. I'm going to tell you what you told me. Many of ,y fa,ily member are white. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy. Hopefully they have that in Texas or Colorado.

OP here. I’m sorry if you’re offended. That’s not my intentions. Your post mad it seems as if every POC from ages 3-18 will experience racial bias, hate, and micro aggressions. I know it happens but not to every POC. There are many POC raised in the suburbs who do not get bullied because of their race. You thinking everyone does and that every white perish is out to get POC is why I said you need therapy. My Hispanic and biracial family will tell you they are not victims and do not receive that hate. Maybe this is why my black family says there is nothing more concerning to them and racist than a white liberal. They are foxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP says "this has nothing to do with politics, so please leave that out of it." How white and privileged of you. Almost quaint.

OP here. I’m far from privileged. I grew up very poor in a neighborhood where I was the only white family. My siblings and I were builder often because of it. My brother was beat up on a daily basis by a group of kids because we didn’t belong there. Racism exists but that doesn’t mean every single POC is targeted by racial attacks.

NO here. I'm going to tell you what you told me. Many of ,y fa,ily member are white. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy. Hopefully they have that in Texas or Colorado.

OP here. I’m sorry if you’re offended. That’s not my intentions. Your post mad it seems as if every POC from ages 3-18 will experience racial bias, hate, and micro aggressions. I know it happens but not to every POC. There are many POC raised in the suburbs who do not get bullied because of their race. You thinking everyone does and that every white perish is out to get POC is why I said you need therapy. My Hispanic and biracial family will tell you they are not victims and do not receive that hate. Maybe this is why my black family says there is nothing more concerning to them and racist than a white liberal. They are foxes.

You said what you said. Don't try and back track Now. Your comments in this thread have been highly suspicious. I do not believe you are actually looking for advice about moving, or moving in regards to your relationship. I believe you are a race baiting troll, and you have been reported as such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP says "this has nothing to do with politics, so please leave that out of it." How white and privileged of you. Almost quaint.

OP here. I’m far from privileged. I grew up very poor in a neighborhood where I was the only white family. My siblings and I were builder often because of it. My brother was beat up on a daily basis by a group of kids because we didn’t belong there. Racism exists but that doesn’t mean every single POC is targeted by racial attacks.

NO here. I'm going to tell you what you told me. Many of ,y fa,ily member are white. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy. Hopefully they have that in Texas or Colorado.

OP here. I’m sorry if you’re offended. That’s not my intentions. Your post mad it seems as if every POC from ages 3-18 will experience racial bias, hate, and micro aggressions. I know it happens but not to every POC. There are many POC raised in the suburbs who do not get bullied because of their race. You thinking everyone does and that every white perish is out to get POC is why I said you need therapy. My Hispanic and biracial family will tell you they are not victims and do not receive that hate. Maybe this is why my black family says there is nothing more concerning to them and racist than a white liberal. They are foxes.

You said what you said. Don't try and back track Now. Your comments in this thread have been highly suspicious. I do not believe you are actually looking for advice about moving, or moving in regards to your relationship. I believe you are a race baiting troll, and you have been reported as such.

I think I recognize this OP, dr husband, she's a CRNA or nurse and always manages to make threads not really seeking advice but to stir up arguments, humblebrag, and is super aggressive

[Anonymous]

We live in Texas for the last 7 years after having grown up in Fairfax county and suburban NY and having lived in NYC for several years during and after grad school.

No state income tax in Texas which is part of the reason DH was happy to move here. But, the social services are shit as a result, so hope you don’t ever need them. Some of the schools are “rated” highly but school ratings are loaded and rarely aaccount for how your actual kids will perform. And if you have any kids with special needs or learning differences Texas is NOT known for their special ed services and I say this from firsthand experience as well as reputation of the state. Cost of living is also generally lower but housing can sneak up on you.

Texas is huge and the weather varies widely. You said Dallas which is not where we live but I have been there several times. Dallas gets a bit more seasonal weather and gets snow occasionally, but it will never be a ton (can still shut the city down because few places in Texas are equipped). I think the Houston and Austin cities and suburbs are more interesting than Dallas, frankly. There are also a lot of healthcare/hospital options in Houston. BUT the weather there is miserable for many months. There is rarely snow/cold/ice but you can barely walk to your car from May-Sept. Even in the winter it’s humid!

No metro areas in Texas are walkable unless you live right smack in a downtown area and even then. Walkability ranks probably Austin, Dallas, San Antonio, Houston. But compared to Arlington or Alexandria or DC they’re really not even close.

Plenty of people in Texas are (privileged to be) neutral about politics but plenty of people are political and active in those circles. Suburban Texas is turning purple but mostly in the suburbs of a few reliably liberal cities.

Best thing you can do is go visit a few times before officially deciding.

[Anonymous]

OP - you have no decision to make until he has an actual job offer

[Anonymous]

Currently, you have nothing to decide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP says "this has nothing to do with politics, so please leave that out of it." How white and privileged of you. Almost quaint.

OP here. I’m far from privileged. I grew up very poor in a neighborhood where I was the only white family. My siblings and I were builder often because of it. My brother was beat up on a daily basis by a group of kids because we didn’t belong there. Racism exists but that doesn’t mean every single POC is targeted by racial attacks.

NO here. I'm going to tell you what you told me. Many of ,y fa,ily member are white. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy. Hopefully they have that in Texas or Colorado.

OP here. I’m sorry if you’re offended. That’s not my intentions. Your post mad it seems as if every POC from ages 3-18 will experience racial bias, hate, and micro aggressions. I know it happens but not to every POC. There are many POC raised in the suburbs who do not get bullied because of their race. You thinking everyone does and that every white perish is out to get POC is why I said you need therapy. My Hispanic and biracial family will tell you they are not victims and do not receive that hate. Maybe this is why my black family says there is nothing more concerning to them and racist than a white liberal. They are foxes.

You said what you said. Don't try and back track Now. Your comments in this thread have been highly suspicious. I do not believe you are actually looking for advice about moving, or moving in regards to your relationship. I believe you are a race baiting troll, and you have been reported as such.

I think I recognize this OP, dr husband, she's a CRNA or nurse and always manages to make threads not really seeking advice but to stir up arguments, humblebrag, and is super aggressive

I'm not saying you are right, but the style is very similar as is the fixation on moving to Texas.