Husband Wants To Move..

[Anonymous]

OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If you are white American, then you can move most anywhere.
If you are something else, then you need to select a neighborhood that will welcome you.
BTDT. It's the first criteria for me. We are a mixed-race, international family, and we need to be careful of where we land.

Yes this, and if this is the case living in a city is almost always the better option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

I doubt this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that kids aren't kids if they don't have a backyard is ridiculous. Tons of kids are raised in cities.

I would not move to either of those two states. I'd pick New England or parts of CA.

Yes, but given the choice, a yard for kids is always better.

Better is relative. Sure a yard is nice, but is it better for a kid to have a yard or to not spend their childhood racially bullied, orthered, discriminated against, and face microaggressions from the time they are 3 years old until they are 18? Social and emotional health is very important in kids too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

Your best bet for healthcare jobs is Texas. You'll really just have to research the area to determine if it's a cultural fit for you. Also can't depen on friend being there. Friendships change. Friends move. You may not get along with friend etc. Also need to consider childcare and if you are okay with moving far away from family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

Dallas. Oof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that kids aren't kids if they don't have a backyard is ridiculous. Tons of kids are raised in cities.

I would not move to either of those two states. I'd pick New England or parts of CA.

Yes, but given the choice, a yard for kids is always better.

Better is relative. Sure a yard is nice, but is it better for a kid to have a yard or to not spend their childhood racially bullied, orthered, discriminated against, and face microaggressions from the time they are 3 years old until they are 18? Social and emotional health is very important in kids too.

You have got to be joking. There are millions of nonwhite kids who live in the 'burbs who don't get bullied.

Some of the most diverse small cities in the country are in the burbs in MD - Rockville, Gaithersburg, Germantown -- all areas with homes with big yards.

We are a biracial family, and we moved here specifically for the yard space and diversity. My kids' schools are almost 25% each white/asian/black/hispanic with tons of biracial children.

And my biracial DC hates city living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

Dallas. Oof.

I'm thinking he considers "nice" to mean no snow, and that humidity is fine. That would be a huge no for me, but to each his own.

[Anonymous]

I’m originally from Texas and my spouse is from Colorado. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

Be sure to consider that Texas does not have a state income tax (only federal); Colorado does have a state income tax. I grew up in a very small town outside of Dallas; I can attest there are some excellent schools/neighborhoods. Culturally, both states are very different (but I expect that depends on exactly where you live). Texas public universities offer excellent value for the $. It is hot as heck in Texas, so you may not like that.....But there are abundant outdoor recreation opportunities. Best of luck. Try to spend at least a week in each state so you can see for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Texas is horrific. You can never walk anywhere. What kind of a way is that for children to grow up? Having to be driven everywhere by their parents, not knowing how the metro works...

Oh please. My kids stayed pretty close to home as tweens/teens and didn’t venture into the city from our suburb. But they were able to figure out the subway when they needed to for school events (college fair in the city etc.). There are other reasons to raise kids in the city but that isn’t one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If you are white American, then you can move most anywhere.
If you are something else, then you need to select a neighborhood that will welcome you.
BTDT. It's the first criteria for me. We are a mixed-race, international family, and we need to be careful of where we land.

I'm white spouse is South Asian, and friendly race relations is part of why we've seriously considered moving to TX.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

I doubt this.

You do know there are a decent number of Hispanic Republicans, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

Your best bet for healthcare jobs is Texas. You'll really just have to research the area to determine if it's a cultural fit for you. Also can't depen on friend being there. Friendships change. Friends move. You may not get along with friend etc. Also need to consider childcare and if you are okay with moving far away from family.

OP here. Neither of our families live in the area. We moved here for my husbands residency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that kids aren't kids if they don't have a backyard is ridiculous. Tons of kids are raised in cities.

I would not move to either of those two states. I'd pick New England or parts of CA.

Yes, but given the choice, a yard for kids is always better.

Better is relative. Sure a yard is nice, but is it better for a kid to have a yard or to not spend their childhood racially bullied, orthered, discriminated against, and face microaggressions from the time they are 3 years old until they are 18? Social and emotional health is very important in kids too.

OP here. Many of my family members are Hispanic, black, and Asian. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

I doubt this.

You do know there are a decent number of Hispanic Republicans, right?

+1. There are many Hispanic republicans who live in Texas.