Husband Wants To Move..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m originally from Texas and my spouse is from Colorado. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

Be sure to consider that Texas does not have a state income tax (only federal); Colorado does have a state income tax. I grew up in a very small town outside of Dallas; I can attest there are some excellent schools/neighborhoods. Culturally, both states are very different (but I expect that depends on exactly where you live). Texas public universities offer excellent value for the $. It is hot as heck in Texas, so you may not like that.....But there are abundant outdoor recreation opportunities. Best of luck. Try to spend at least a week in each state so you can see for yourself.

OP here. We haven’t looked that much into Colorado but we are thinking about moving to the Colorado Springs area. We have looked at Texas and we are considering moving to the Colleyville and Southlake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

I doubt this.

You do know there are a decent number of Hispanic Republicans, right?

+1. There are many Hispanic republicans who live in Texas.

Yes I do know that. Being a aHispanic Republican doesn't mean you won't be racially discriminated against.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m originally from Texas and my spouse is from Colorado. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

Be sure to consider that Texas does not have a state income tax (only federal); Colorado does have a state income tax. I grew up in a very small town outside of Dallas; I can attest there are some excellent schools/neighborhoods. Culturally, both states are very different (but I expect that depends on exactly where you live). Texas public universities offer excellent value for the $. It is hot as heck in Texas, so you may not like that.....But there are abundant outdoor recreation opportunities. Best of luck. Try to spend at least a week in each state so you can see for yourself.

OP here. We haven’t looked that much into Colorado but we are thinking about moving to the Colorado Springs area. We have looked at Texas and we are considering moving to the Colleyville and Southlake.

I KNEW OP was thinking the Springs not Denver.

Go with Texas. That will be your best bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you are white American, then you can move most anywhere.
If you are something else, then you need to select a neighborhood that will welcome you.
BTDT. It's the first criteria for me. We are a mixed-race, international family, and we need to be careful of where we land.

Not really. Don't fall for all the propaganda about America being all racist. This is probably one of the least racist countries on earth in terms of the attitudes of ordinary people. There are welcoming communities all over this country. In fact, you might do better in a red state where incomes are more equal than a blue state big city where everyone is always gushing about how everyone is welcome but the rich people make a hundred times more than the poor people and all go to private schools.

Don't get out of the country much, do ya

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that kids aren't kids if they don't have a backyard is ridiculous. Tons of kids are raised in cities.

I would not move to either of those two states. I'd pick New England or parts of CA.

Yes, but given the choice, a yard for kids is always better.

Better is relative. Sure a yard is nice, but is it better for a kid to have a yard or to not spend their childhood racially bullied, orthered, discriminated against, and face microaggressions from the time they are 3 years old until they are 18? Social and emotional health is very important in kids too.

You have got to be joking. There are millions of nonwhite kids who live in the 'burbs who don't get bullied.

Some of the most diverse small cities in the country are in the burbs in MD - Rockville, Gaithersburg, Germantown -- all areas with homes with big yards.

We are a biracial family, and we moved here specifically for the yard space and diversity. My kids' schools are almost 25% each white/asian/black/hispanic with tons of biracial children.

And my biracial DC hates city living.

Burbs aren't known for being diverse.
You akcnowledge the importance of diversity, but want to mock me for saying that emotional health is important in choosing a living space for a child. Interesting.
It's not all about bullying, thought that does happen) it;s about being othered, being the token , the constant microagressions. I lived it, which is why I said why I said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that kids aren't kids if they don't have a backyard is ridiculous. Tons of kids are raised in cities.

I would not move to either of those two states. I'd pick New England or parts of CA.

Rampant wildfires?

that's a huge concern, but it's not permanent. San Diego would be a good choice.

No, climate change is pretty much permanent.

[Anonymous]

I love how OP says "this has nothing to do with politics, so please leave that out of it." How white and privileged of you. Almost quaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how OP says "this has nothing to do with politics, so please leave that out of it." How white and privileged of you. Almost quaint.

Watch out PP, OP will probably think you need therapy and emotional support.

[Anonymous]

OP, when you and your DH are looking at houses online, make sure you look at property taxes. They are high in Texas, which to some degree offsets the lack of state income tax. But you definitely can get a lot more house for your money than in the DMV. Probably more in Texas than Colorado.

Between CO and TX I would definitely take Texas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that kids aren't kids if they don't have a backyard is ridiculous. Tons of kids are raised in cities.

I would not move to either of those two states. I'd pick New England or parts of CA.

Yes, but given the choice, a yard for kids is always better.

Better is relative. Sure a yard is nice, but is it better for a kid to have a yard or to not spend their childhood racially bullied, orthered, discriminated against, and face microaggressions from the time they are 3 years old until they are 18? Social and emotional health is very important in kids too.

OP here. Many of my family members are Hispanic, black, and Asian. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy.

Do you believe that non white, and especially Hispanic and Black Americans are discriminated against in health care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that kids aren't kids if they don't have a backyard is ridiculous. Tons of kids are raised in cities.

I would not move to either of those two states. I'd pick New England or parts of CA.

Yes, but given the choice, a yard for kids is always better.

Better is relative. Sure a yard is nice, but is it better for a kid to have a yard or to not spend their childhood racially bullied, orthered, discriminated against, and face microaggressions from the time they are 3 years old until they are 18? Social and emotional health is very important in kids too.

OP here. Many of my family members are Hispanic, black, and Asian. They were never bullied at school. I think you need some emotional support and therapy.

This response is totally uncalled for. You asked a question and I gave my feedback based on my person experience. I did not insult you. However, you took it upon yourself to insult me and downplay the racism nonwhites do face on this country.

Perhaps you should have also prefaced your post with you only wante input from white posters, and POC who agree with your world view. The same way you stated you didn't want to talk politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you are white American, then you can move most anywhere.
If you are something else, then you need to select a neighborhood that will welcome you.
BTDT. It's the first criteria for me. We are a mixed-race, international family, and we need to be careful of where we land.

Not really. Don't fall for all the propaganda about America being all racist. This is probably one of the least racist countries on earth in terms of the attitudes of ordinary people. There are welcoming communities all over this country. In fact, you might do better in a red state where incomes are more equal than a blue state big city where everyone is always gushing about how everyone is welcome but the rich people make a hundred times more than the poor people and all go to private schools.

PP you replied to. I assume from this that you are white and have lived in places where you had the same culture as the majority. I have lived in many different countries and have experienced varying levels of discomfort: it's rarely open hostility (although I've experienced hostility from the people I'd least expect to have such thoughts, you're right about that), but more like fighting every day against ignorance and lack of cultural understanding, and the assumption that the prevailing culture is the best and that we come from worse. I'm too old to go through that again.

[Anonymous]

You will not be able to walk anywhere in Dallas. Even if you were proximate to attractions it is brutally hot much of the year during much the day. You’re looking at an existence in air conditioning or by the pool or in the car.

Also think carefully about whether you want to move or an area where only one of you already has friends. Moving during Covid could make building new social networks hard. You’d be dependent upon his network. Do you like them?

Another thought - what do you mean by good schools? In teacher networks Texas is not known for being a good place to work. I believe science textbooks in Texas have to finesse facts to satisfy evangelicals. Do you want to live where climate change is seen as dubious?

The only part of your post that makes me think Texas May be a good fit for you was the “no politics” bit. The idea that you can consider moving anywhere and not consider politics is laughable. Probably an idea shared by other privileged Texans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are both white. I grew up in the city ( Chicago) and I’m a city person. I like being able to walk anywhere and I hate driving. Texas is a place he wants to move what sue he has friend there. We would be moving to a very nice area by Dallas. The two suburbs we looked at have some of the best schools. Dallas also makes more sense with us both being in healthcare and there will likely be more opportunities for jobs. My husband hates the cold and the snow. He would love to have nice weather year round for a garden.

He likes Colorado but the winters can be bad and I’m not sure how healthcare jobs are there.

We are white but many of my family members are Hispanic and some live in small red states and never had any issues.

Your best bet for healthcare jobs is Texas. You'll really just have to research the area to determine if it's a cultural fit for you. Also can't depen on friend being there. Friendships change. Friends move. You may not get along with friend etc. Also need to consider childcare and if you are okay with moving far away from family.

OP here. Neither of our families live in the area. We moved here for my husbands residency.

What kind of physician is he? Does he have a job that has given him a contract at either location? If he doesn't have a firm job, you are getting ahead of yourself. There are private practice positions vs hospital employed and they pay differently. Pay also varies greatly in different parts of the country. Plus he may not like contract terms offered. Where he gets the best contract with highest compensation should be your top consideration of where to move. That may not be either location you are looking

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore these people who only want to divert from your original query. You started this thread and I will respond to your questions re: TX vs CO.

Since the weather is polar opposite in the two states, I’d highly recommend using that as one of your main criteria. It can snow in Colorado for months on end (begin in Fall and not end until July....I recall once being there on 4th of July and it was snowing). I, personally, could not deal with cold temperatures for extended periods—but many people absolutely love winter sports, skiing, hiking in the mountains.

Texas is very hot in the summer, but you can wear summer clothes, kids play outside almost year round. Only a few weeks of cold weather/snow/ice to deal with...

Best of luck! I can’t wait to move from the DMV to somewhere warm....but that’s because I’m getting old and love to be active outside.