I just learned about tribe gaslighting and more people should know about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a manager, I've gotten so much better at screening for the kind of person who will come into a job and immediately stir up drama that exceeds the value they bring. Reading this forum has helped my radar for this.

+1,000 it's like some people never move on from middle school

Do your job and shut up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about bullies is that they’re very careful about choosing who to pick on. I’ve known people who did treat different people very differently. If the other people witness the behavior and then deny it, that’s gaslighting. On the other hand, they may truly not be seeing that side of the person.

Why do you have to witness a behavior in order to believe someone telling you about abuse? That’s a very troubling attitude. Think how awful it would be to be bullied/harassed, and then disbelieved when you try to tell people what is happening. That’s definitely gaslighting.

How would you propose someone in this situation address the problem, if not by trying to tell someone about it?

Not the PP, but folks like to think they are good judges of character and don’t understand how abusers manipulate. So if they haven’t seen this kind of behavior from the abuser, it may be hard for them to accept that the abuser is capable of it.

[Anonymous]

I started a new job two months ago and this is happening to me right now. It's a new experience and I don't know how to handle because...I'm new.

Has anyone resolved the situation without having to actually leave themselves?

[Anonymous]

I'm going through something similar to this right now. My supervisor is an incompetent mess-- major narcissist who needs constant praise-- who bullies people and the other managers around her won't step in to address the problem. I had to ask her about a project recently that she was screwing up terribly and she wrote back this long email that I truly believe was written by someone else above her. I know she is unable to write a single sentence without typos or egregious grammatical errors. The writing was not in her typical style. So yes, people are not only gaslighting, but covering for her as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started a new job two months ago and this is happening to me right now. It's a new experience and I don't know how to handle because...I'm new.

Has anyone resolved the situation without having to actually leave themselves?

You can never resolve it. Attempting to goes to crazy making for you. Change happens if for some reason there is something in it for the narcisssit to support you, you feed the supply and grovel, or they have an embarrassment that should require a mea culpa but at best releases a pivot and redirection in something else.

Remember the evil eye in the ring? It’s like trying to sneak to dismantle in without letting it see you, and all forces against you.

Read books about disarming the narcissist , Tiffany blue cover on Amazon kindle

[Anonymous]

The very best book I've read about toxic workplace dynamics is "Snakes in Suits - When Psychopaths Go to Work" by Hare.

Not all psychopaths are violent mass murderers. Many of them are woven into our lives and do a remarkable job of blending in.

It seems popular now to call everyone who acts badly a narcissist when in fact that descriptor may not be correct.

They may be a psychopath. There is a difference and knowing it can be helpful.