Nanny going to funeral

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was she off for 6 months?

I’m curious about this too. And were you paying her this whole time?

OP again, we didn’t have her come for a few months once COVID got bad since she takes public transportation and does not drive. We drove her daily for a couple weeks but it was just too much (45 mins each way). Then, since the kids’ summer camp wasn’t happening we decided to go to my parents’ for the summer and just returned after Labor Day. She was collecting unemployment the whole time, but from what I understand terminated it when she came back.

Wow, so you just got away with nearly 6 months of not paying her and then want to complain about this when she gets back? Where is the guarantee your “interim help” won’t be living her life as well? At some point you just accept a certain amount of risk if you are going to have a nanny in your home. You trust her to watch your child, so you should trust her judgement generally. You’re lucky she is telling you any of this to begin with.

I am not complaining about paying her, I am mainly saying after being off for 6 months it’s frustrating that she is now doing something I deem risky that prevents her from working for two weeks when she just came back.

And while I didn’t pay her, she collected more in unemployment than she gets paid so she was thrilled.

That means you don’t pay a living wage.

Please do not make a big deal about the funeral. And yes, obviously, pay her if you expect her to quarantine.

Not the OP, but no, it does not mean this at all. Through the end of July, the nanny would have received the $600 WEEKLY pandemic supplement on top of her regular unemployment. I’m no longer in metro DC, so I don’t know your state’s rates. In my state, though, the lowest weekly rate is $182/wk. Presumably OP’s nanny earns more than minimum wage and would have a higher weekly base unemployment to have added to the $600.

To OP, I would not feel comfortable with this. I guess quarantine with pay and have her test a week out? Not sure how I’d handle it.

[Anonymous]

Has she resumed taking public transportation? That’s a big risk to her and you so the funeral is just additional exposure on top of her daily commute. I don’t see how you can be comfortable with one and not the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has she resumed taking public transportation? That’s a big risk to her and you so the funeral is just additional exposure on top of her daily commute. I don’t see how you can be comfortable with one and not the other.

Sorry but there is definitely a difference between taking public transportation wearing a mask and taking precautions vs. going to a family funeral where there will likely be a gathering afterwards where people will be indoors with no masks. Also at funerals people are often crying, hugging, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she resumed taking public transportation? That’s a big risk to her and you so the funeral is just additional exposure on top of her daily commute. I don’t see how you can be comfortable with one and not the other.

Sorry but there is definitely a difference between taking public transportation wearing a mask and taking precautions vs. going to a family funeral where there will likely be a gathering afterwards where people will be indoors with no masks. Also at funerals people are often crying, hugging, etc.

Both are risky. Public transportation requires you to be in an enclosed space with people who may or may not be practicing social distancing, wearing masks appropriately and keeping their unsanitized hands off the common areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP one last time. As i already said, the main point of my post was not about whether to pay her for the 2 weeks - which I will do. My main point was whether other people would be comfortable having a nanny come to work right after going to a funeral with many other people, or ask her to quarantine.

I have a couple friends who have relatives who passed away over the past few months and they only did Zoom funerals and did not get together in person at all with extended family. So as I said I would never ask my nanny not to attend or question her going, but it is a high risk behavior that directly impacts me if she comes to work the next day.

And what annoys me is that he didn’t pass away that morning or the day before, after discussing more he passed away the week before so she could have said something at any time as a heads up that she will need to attend a funeral rather than tell me Friday morning she won’t be there Monday, since I had to scramble to arrange child care that day.

“I would never ask her not to attend the funeral, but my bigger question is should she quarantine after for 2 weeks to be safe? And given that she has just been off for 6 month am I supposed to pay her for the 2 weeks? I will need to find interim help because DH and I have to work so that will cost me a lot of money.”

Actually, you were trying to get out of paying...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP one last time. As i already said, the main point of my post was not about whether to pay her for the 2 weeks - which I will do. My main point was whether other people would be comfortable having a nanny come to work right after going to a funeral with many other people, or ask her to quarantine.

I have a couple friends who have relatives who passed away over the past few months and they only did Zoom funerals and did not get together in person at all with extended family. So as I said I would never ask my nanny not to attend or question her going, but it is a high risk behavior that directly impacts me if she comes to work the next day.

And what annoys me is that he didn’t pass away that morning or the day before, after discussing more he passed away the week before so she could have said something at any time as a heads up that she will need to attend a funeral rather than tell me Friday morning she won’t be there Monday, since I had to scramble to arrange child care that day.

Yeah your nanny doesn't take her job seriously and you are an afterthought. Maybe she already has another job lined up and might decide to quit anytime..

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I'm late responding and you probably already figured out what to do but just wanted to say these responses were ridiculously harsh.
No, you are not 'scum' smh. I'm a nanny of 13 years. It was nice that you continued to pay her for 3 months because so many nannies were let go without any compensation. She wasn't wrong for filing for unemployment; that's what it's there for. As far as the funeral, if outdoors and she was actually masked AND not going to hug anyone, I wouldn't have had a problem but of course you wouldn't know.
Wish you well either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pay her for two weeks if you don't want her to come in.

This. This seems really obvious. You have to accept that you can't control your childcare provider's life. If you are worried about it, pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why was she off for 6 months?

Unless you paid her the six months pay is that relevant