Nanny going to funeral

[Anonymous]

As a nanny who has been staying home (aside from work) this entire time, both of you disgust me. I really resent paying for all these free holidays when I’ve been working my ass off 65 hour weeks. Yes I’m getting paid and yes I love my job, but your nanny, you as an employer and everyone else treating this like a free holiday are just the scum of the earth. The absolute scum. Oh, and pay your nanny for the 2 weeks!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I feel sorry for your nanny’s loss, this would be more than I could take after paying her for six months she wasn’t working. I don’t know what to tell you, OP.

Me too. It’s pretty ridiculous that you paid her not to work for 6 months and now she’s telling you about a funeral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was she off for 6 months?

I’m curious about this too. And were you paying her this whole time?

OP again, we didn’t have her come for a few months once COVID got bad since she takes public transportation and does not drive. We drove her daily for a couple weeks but it was just too much (45 mins each way). Then, since the kids’ summer camp wasn’t happening we decided to go to my parents’ for the summer and just returned after Labor Day. She was collecting unemployment the whole time, but from what I understand terminated it when she came back.

So you didn’t pay her and she waited for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I feel sorry for your nanny’s loss, this would be more than I could take after paying her for six months she wasn’t working. I don’t know what to tell you, OP.

Me too. It’s pretty ridiculous that you paid her not to work for 6 months and now she’s telling you about a funeral.

Yes, how dare her brother in law die so as not to inconvenience OP. How selfish. Btw, OP didn’t pay her nanny for all of those 6 months. She should have money saved from when us taxpayers were paying her nanny to stay home.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like both you and she were gaming the system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! In your initial post when you complained that your nanny was just coming off of 6 months off, most would assume you were actually paying her for that time period as most decent people did. Instead, you actually laid her off because she didn’t have private transportation (probably because she couldn’t afford it on the salary that you pay and you weren’t willing to either assist or give her a transportation supplement). Then you apparently decamped to live with family, where you were probably able to telework and benefit from free childcare, while the taxpayer paid your nanny’s unemployment but you justify it in your mind because she made more than she would have working for you. With the current demand for nannies I have no idea why yours decided to come back to work for you but you should definitely fire her now for attending her brother’s funeral so that she can find a decent employer.

We did pay her from March 16 to the end of June when we left DC, and she was the one who told me most of her friends were “furloughed” and she could just file for unemployment so we wouldn’t need to pay her for the summer.

We also told her we completely understand if she wants to find a new job but she said she was happy to have some time off and wanted to return in the fall.

Then it sounds like you both deserve each other and the whole situation seems pretty shady. Regardless, if she has a current contract to work a certain number of hours per week you can’t just demand she stay home from work without pay unless her behavior explicitly violates terms outlined in the contract so your choices are pretty much to just accept the risk, pay her to stay home, or fire her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! In your initial post when you complained that your nanny was just coming off of 6 months off, most would assume you were actually paying her for that time period as most decent people did. Instead, you actually laid her off because she didn’t have private transportation (probably because she couldn’t afford it on the salary that you pay and you weren’t willing to either assist or give her a transportation supplement). Then you apparently decamped to live with family, where you were probably able to telework and benefit from free childcare, while the taxpayer paid your nanny’s unemployment but you justify it in your mind because she made more than she would have working for you. With the current demand for nannies I have no idea why yours decided to come back to work for you but you should definitely fire her now for attending her brother’s funeral so that she can find a decent employer.

We did pay her from March 16 to the end of June when we left DC, and she was the one who told me most of her friends were “furloughed” and she could just file for unemployment so we wouldn’t need to pay her for the summer.

We also told her we completely understand if she wants to find a new job but she said she was happy to have some time off and wanted to return in the fall.

Then it sounds like you both deserve each other and the whole situation seems pretty shady. Regardless, if she has a current contract to work a certain number of hours per week you can’t just demand she stay home from work without pay unless her behavior explicitly violates terms outlined in the contract so your choices are pretty much to just accept the risk, pay her to stay home, or fire her.

This is the best advice on the page. If you want her to quarantine for two weeks...then pay her. You shouldn’t ask her to use her vacation. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was she off for 6 months?

I’m curious about this too. And were you paying her this whole time?

OP again, we didn’t have her come for a few months once COVID got bad since she takes public transportation and does not drive. We drove her daily for a couple weeks but it was just too much (45 mins each way). Then, since the kids’ summer camp wasn’t happening we decided to go to my parents’ for the summer and just returned after Labor Day. She was collecting unemployment the whole time, but from what I understand terminated it when she came back.

She wasn’t collecting the whole time. There are tons of nanny jobs available, and the extra $600 ran out in July. Most states haven’t figured out how to do the newest match that Trump demanded. I call bull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I feel sorry for your nanny’s loss, this would be more than I could take after paying her for six months she wasn’t working. I don’t know what to tell you, OP.

Me too. It’s pretty ridiculous that you paid her not to work for 6 months and now she’s telling you about a funeral.

She’s now saying she paid through June. The narrative keeps evolving with tiny snippets of information...

[Anonymous]

This is OP one last time. As i already said, the main point of my post was not about whether to pay her for the 2 weeks - which I will do. My main point was whether other people would be comfortable having a nanny come to work right after going to a funeral with many other people, or ask her to quarantine.

I have a couple friends who have relatives who passed away over the past few months and they only did Zoom funerals and did not get together in person at all with extended family. So as I said I would never ask my nanny not to attend or question her going, but it is a high risk behavior that directly impacts me if she comes to work the next day.

And what annoys me is that he didn’t pass away that morning or the day before, after discussing more he passed away the week before so she could have said something at any time as a heads up that she will need to attend a funeral rather than tell me Friday morning she won’t be there Monday, since I had to scramble to arrange child care that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I feel sorry for your nanny’s loss, this would be more than I could take after paying her for six months she wasn’t working. I don’t know what to tell you, OP.

Me too. It’s pretty ridiculous that you paid her not to work for 6 months and now she’s telling you about a funeral.

The nanny should go to funeral. OP is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I feel sorry for your nanny’s loss, this would be more than I could take after paying her for six months she wasn’t working. I don’t know what to tell you, OP.

Me too. It’s pretty ridiculous that you paid her not to work for 6 months and now she’s telling you about a funeral.

The nanny should go to funeral. OP is ridiculous.

When did I say at any point she should not go? The only question is whether I have her not come to work for 2 weeks after to ensure she doesn’t expose us.

[Anonymous]

Ask her to quarantine for two weeks. She will be eligible for unemployment for those two weeks since it is due to COVID.

[Anonymous]

OP is the scum of scum!

[Anonymous]

I would not want someone who has been around so many people be around my kids, so I would ask her to quarantine for the two weeks. If you are willing to pay, that is great. If not, help her collect unemployment for the two weeks.