44yo - too late?

[Anonymous]

The average age of a first-time grandparent is 49. Yes, too late.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is 100% too late for a woman, biologically, at least without donor eggs. (DH was 39 when our kid was born, but men don't have the issue of declining egg quality.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take ubiquinol, 400mg daily. Meet an RE and check your numbers. Tell the RE you've been trying for six months otherwise they may not be able to see you.

I don't think there is a need to wait six months. I think you should be able to see an RE as soon as you can book an appointment. I had my third a 43 via IVF. My RE recommended Ubiquinol for 6 months and I also did acupuncture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take ubiquinol, 400mg daily. Meet an RE and check your numbers. Tell the RE you've been trying for six months otherwise they may not be able to see you.

No RE is going to tell a 44 year old that they need to try and conceive naturally for 6 months. You sound like a lunatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The average age of a first-time grandparent is 49. Yes, too late.

Clearly not in NW DC…

OP, I’m 70 now and had my healthy, wonderful last baby 22 years ago. He just started at Yale Med school and is by far the least anxious and most well-adjusted of my three children. You might as well go for it, but I’d recommend not coming back here for advice; too many women casting judgment and when it’s the most highly personal decision (to try) you can make!

My doctor told me how studies show that your body recognizes a birth at a later age and “resets” its biological clock to take care of a newborn; an evolutionary extension of life, so to speak. They’re doing more research into this, but anecdotally, I feel 20+ years younger than my friends who are mostly grandmas by now, and acting accordingly fragile. Meanwhile, I went zip lining down the Great Wall pre-pandemic and feel very energetic / fit.

You’re only as old as your mindset, and having a baby later in life truly keeps you young. Life is unpredictable and, while I planned on having kids earlier (but couldn’t at the time due to medical reasons), I am loving life as an older empty nester and wouldn’t have changed a thing

[Anonymous]

Dry curious if there’s an update, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44yo with two kids 10 and 12. Never had trouble conceiving previously, but that was 10 years ago. Would like to try for the third - is it too late? IUD has been removed, would likely just see if we can make it happen naturally. If it doesn't happen would likely not pursue IVF.

Anything to try to increase chances naturally?

I would ask yourself why you want a baby and start over? Is it because your kids are getting older and don't "need" you as much? Are you fearful of change? You can do so many fun and interesting things with your kids at their ages but, you won't really with a baby. Why not figure out your next stage in your life instead of having a baby?

I would like to know the answer as well. If this were your first kid or even if your other kids were 2 and 4, I would tell you to go for it. But your oldest kids are 10 and 12. Why start over now? Are you really prepared for starting over? Are you prepared for juggling newborn/toddler while taking your oldest to all their activities? I hope you don’t see it as having two built in babysitters. Make sure nothing is being taken away from your two oldest - like instead of saving for college, that money now has to go to daycare, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The average age of a first-time grandparent is 49. Yes, too late.

Clearly not in NW DC…

OP, I’m 70 now and had my healthy, wonderful last baby 22 years ago. He just started at Yale Med school and is by far the least anxious and most well-adjusted of my three children. You might as well go for it, but I’d recommend not coming back here for advice; too many women casting judgment and when it’s the most highly personal decision (to try) you can make!

My doctor told me how studies show that your body recognizes a birth at a later age and “resets” its biological clock to take care of a newborn; an evolutionary extension of life, so to speak. They’re doing more research into this, but anecdotally, I feel 20+ years younger than my friends who are mostly grandmas by now, and acting accordingly fragile. Meanwhile, I went zip lining down the Great Wall pre-pandemic and feel very energetic / fit.

You’re only as old as your mindset, and having a baby later in life truly keeps you young. Life is unpredictable and, while I planned on having kids earlier (but couldn’t at the time due to medical reasons), I am loving life as an older empty nester and wouldn’t have changed a thing

Oh good lord, no human being “resets their biological clock“ by having a baby unnaturally late. Plenty of 70 year old grandmas “feel young“, but biology is a ruthless dictator and you don’t magically reverse time by waving around evolutionary terms like a magic wand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The average age of a first-time grandparent is 49. Yes, too late.

Clearly not in NW DC…

OP, I’m 70 now and had my healthy, wonderful last baby 22 years ago. He just started at Yale Med school and is by far the least anxious and most well-adjusted of my three children. You might as well go for it, but I’d recommend not coming back here for advice; too many women casting judgment and when it’s the most highly personal decision (to try) you can make!

My doctor told me how studies show that your body recognizes a birth at a later age and “resets” its biological clock to take care of a newborn; an evolutionary extension of life, so to speak. They’re doing more research into this, but anecdotally, I feel 20+ years younger than my friends who are mostly grandmas by now, and acting accordingly fragile. Meanwhile, I went zip lining down the Great Wall pre-pandemic and feel very energetic / fit.

You’re only as old as your mindset, and having a baby later in life truly keeps you young. Life is unpredictable and, while I planned on having kids earlier (but couldn’t at the time due to medical reasons), I am loving life as an older empty nester and wouldn’t have changed a thing

Wow. My mom is 70 and I'm 42. That's wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Ob-gyn delivered has delivered up to the age of 52. As long as you are ready, willing and able. Go for it. Pay no mind to the sexist ageism that permeates this thread sometimes. A 44 year old man would be cheered on or no one would care either way. No it's not too late. Biological age and chronological age are not the same thing. And biological age is an individual metric. Yours is an individual choice.

Not Op, but thank you. I see so many so much of this casual ageism everywhere (reddit, teamblind).

[Anonymous]

You gave birth twice already, so you have better chance than someone who did not. Not great like ten years ago, but still a chance.

Temper your expectation, keep a positive attitude. If it happens, great; if not, you already have two beautiful children.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The average age of a first-time grandparent is 49. Yes, too late.

Clearly not in NW DC…

OP, I’m 70 now and had my healthy, wonderful last baby 22 years ago. He just started at Yale Med school and is by far the least anxious and most well-adjusted of my three children. You might as well go for it, but I’d recommend not coming back here for advice; too many women casting judgment and when it’s the most highly personal decision (to try) you can make!

My doctor told me how studies show that your body recognizes a birth at a later age and “resets” its biological clock to take care of a newborn; an evolutionary extension of life, so to speak. They’re doing more research into this, but anecdotally, I feel 20+ years younger than my friends who are mostly grandmas by now, and acting accordingly fragile. Meanwhile, I went zip lining down the Great Wall pre-pandemic and feel very energetic / fit.

You’re only as old as your mindset, and having a baby later in life truly keeps you young. Life is unpredictable and, while I planned on having kids earlier (but couldn’t at the time due to medical reasons), I am loving life as an older empty nester and wouldn’t have changed a thing

Oh good lord, no human being “resets their biological clock“ by having a baby unnaturally late. Plenty of 70 year old grandmas “feel young“, but biology is a ruthless dictator and you don’t magically reverse time by waving around evolutionary terms like a magic wand.

Not the first PP, but you clearly don't understand as much about biology as you think you do. Sorry your private prep school science classes failed you so badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Ob-gyn delivered has delivered up to the age of 52. As long as you are ready, willing and able. Go for it. Pay no mind to the sexist ageism that permeates this thread sometimes. A 44 year old man would be cheered on or no one would care either way. No it's not too late. Biological age and chronological age are not the same thing. And biological age is an individual metric. Yours is an individual choice.

Not sure how to break this news to you, but men and women are different.

Please elaborate. Age-related male fertility decline is well established by research (ED, DNA fragmentation, motility etc). Also, even if the sperm of a man in his 40s is more likely to result in a baby, than an egg of a woman in her 40s, it doesn't mean much by itself. Men in 40s have an extremely high chance of having kids with Autism, and other genetic issues. Imagine being in your 60s, and having to worry about what will happen to your special needs child after you are gone. With women who are able to have kids, same issue. But if tests show that the baby is fine, it doesn't matter if either mom or dad are in their 40s. As for whether or not you will be around until the kid launches, is something that both women and men need to think about. So no, not that different for men and women in their 40s.

That men can have babies at any age, is not necessarily true, and when true its not necessarily a healthy baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you prepared for multiple miscarriages? Having to choose between terminating or parenting a child with a genetic disorder? It's not just a choice between getting pregnant or not getting pregnant, there are a lot of things that can go wrong even if you do conceive. I wouldn't risk it if I were you, but if you do, then I'd urge you to think through your stopping point before you're in the middle of the process.

This is the right answer, for both men and women in their 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it is 100% too late for a woman, biologically, at least without donor eggs. (DH was 39 when our kid was born, but men don't have the issue of declining egg quality.)

Not all women. Women who have already had children have a higher likelihood of being able to conceive in their 40s.