If you married young (under 25)

[Anonymous]

Not me, but my parents married at 21 and 22. Together for 50 years. They both made it clear to their 4 children that they were too young, and we should wait until 30, so far we have all happily taken their advice.

[Anonymous]

Engaged at 21. Married at 23. First kid a month shy of 25. Currently 32 and pregnant with #4. Could not be happier we did it this way.

[Anonymous]

I got married at age 20 and I was married for 27 years. My husband died 5 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not when you get married, but when you have kids. Having a kid within the first year or two generally doesn’t work out.

+1. Married at 24 but didn’t have my first kid until 29. Celebrated 10 years this year.

Another +1 here. Married at 22 (me) and 25 but didn’t have kids until I was 29. Just celebrated 21 years last month. Yes, it was a bit early to get married, but I wouldn’t change anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not when you get married, but when you have kids. Having a kid within the first year or two generally doesn’t work out.

+1. Married at 24 but didn’t have my first kid until 29. Celebrated 10 years this year.

Another +1 here. Married at 22 (me) and 25 but didn’t have kids until I was 29. Just celebrated 21 years last month. Yes, it was a bit early to get married, but I wouldn’t change anything.

Echo this. Married at 23, first kid at 33, just had second at 36. Loved our pre-marriage adventures -- living abroad, in NYC, great trips. It hasn't been all roses all the time, but we're happily married ... and we have a lot of the same preferences/habits, likely because we developed them together, which makes day to day life pretty easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not when you get married, but when you have kids. Having a kid within the first year or two generally doesn’t work out.

+1. Married at 24 but didn’t have my first kid until 29. Celebrated 10 years this year.

Another +1 here. Married at 22 (me) and 25 but didn’t have kids until I was 29. Just celebrated 21 years last month. Yes, it was a bit early to get married, but I wouldn’t change anything.

Echo this. Married at 23, first kid at 33, just had second at 36. Loved our pre-marriage adventures -- living abroad, in NYC, great trips. It hasn't been all roses all the time, but we're happily married ... and we have a lot of the same preferences/habits, likely because we developed them together, which makes day to day life pretty easy.

PP here. Sorry, meant to say pre-kid adventures, not pre-marriage.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure the legal marriage counts as much as the commitment to a person in terms of housing, relocation, jobs, etc. I got married at 25.5 (husband 26.5). We've only been married about 9 years, but we are very happy. We didn't have our first child until we were 30/31. I would say that committing to a person that early definitely limited my job prospects because we had to compromise, but honestly I would've followed him around whether we were legally married or not. I'm happy with my choices, but yea, if I hadn't been in love and committed to a person, I'm sure I would've traveled anywhere for a job and been more successful professionally than I am now.

[Anonymous]

We had kids right away. Married at 23. We're glad we did it

[Anonymous]

I regret it. We had no idea who we were. Met in college, fell in love while studying abroad together. He was the first man I had ever slept with. Wr got married right after college. Married 16 years. Had 2 kids. He ended up following me out to DC when I moved out here for grad school. He would have stayed in the Midwest forever, happily. He ended up getting a job as a random program manager for Dept of Labor. Worked his way up to mid level management. My career took off, got my 15 at a different agency that has me traveling all over the world. I earn more than him, regularly turned down opportunities to move abroad or even do 1-3 month assignments in fabulous locations like London, Paris, Sydney, Nairobi, etc., because it wouldn't have worked well for "us."

He ended up having an affair with his secretary, who was also married with kids even younger than ours. Broke my heart, but honestly, in retrospect, I'm thankful that this happened while I'm still young and energetic enough to live my life the way I want. I take my kids all over the world. I worked it in to the divorce agreement that I can take them overseas for a 2 year tour (with visits and summers back with their dad). I feel so freaking free and light.... it is the first time I have gotten to experience what it is like to live as a ME and not a WE as an adult. I love it.

Zero interest in remarriage. I date, but don't introduce anyone to my kids. My goal is to raise them, get them off to college. None of this blended family crap that they didn't ask for or want. They are my top priority. This is my best life.

Biggest challenge was the initial learning curve with online dating.

[Anonymous]

Like many others. Met at 21, married at 24. Waited until 32 and 34 to have kids. Still together happily 29 years later. Wouldn't change anything and really glad we waited a long period to make sure things were stable and happy in our marriage before having kids.

[Anonymous]

Like many others. Met at 21, married at 24. Waited until 32 and 34 to have kids. Still together happily 29 years later. Wouldn't change anything and really glad we waited a long period to make sure things were stable and happy in our marriage before having kids.

[Anonymous]

Married at 23.
Separated after 18.5 years
Just shy of 20 and we’ll be divorced.

Overall I was happy, he wasn’t.
I’ve realized, now that I processed everything I grew up and he wanted me to be the young girl he married. There is a 13 year age difference.

His girlfriend is even younger than me, 17-18 year age difference and she needs someone to take care of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had kids right away. Married at 23. We're glad we did it

Same here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret it. We had no idea who we were. Met in college, fell in love while studying abroad together. He was the first man I had ever slept with. Wr got married right after college. Married 16 years. Had 2 kids. He ended up following me out to DC when I moved out here for grad school. He would have stayed in the Midwest forever, happily. He ended up getting a job as a random program manager for Dept of Labor. Worked his way up to mid level management. My career took off, got my 15 at a different agency that has me traveling all over the world. I earn more than him, regularly turned down opportunities to move abroad or even do 1-3 month assignments in fabulous locations like London, Paris, Sydney, Nairobi, etc., because it wouldn't have worked well for "us."

He ended up having an affair with his secretary, who was also married with kids even younger than ours. Broke my heart, but honestly, in retrospect, I'm thankful that this happened while I'm still young and energetic enough to live my life the way I want. I take my kids all over the world. I worked it in to the divorce agreement that I can take them overseas for a 2 year tour (with visits and summers back with their dad). I feel so freaking free and light.... it is the first time I have gotten to experience what it is like to live as a ME and not a WE as an adult. I love it.

Zero interest in remarriage. I date, but don't introduce anyone to my kids. My goal is to raise them, get them off to college. None of this blended family crap that they didn't ask for or want. They are my top priority. This is my best life.

Biggest challenge was the initial learning curve with online dating.

I enjoyed your story. I'm still happily married, but know this is it for me. If it doesn't work out for whatever reasons, this is the approach I would take as well. Your life sounds full, and you certainly don't need a marriage or more kids to add to it. Have a good evening!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married at age 20 and I was married for 27 years. My husband died 5 years ago.

I'm so sorry for your loss. 27 years is quite an accomplishment!