How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, you don’t know anyone who isn’t following strict precautions? I must know a bunch of rebels. I’m not condoning it, but you would be shocked at how many people are just going about like it was the summer of 2019.

I don't have local friends, so I'm not 100% sure what people are doing. My friends on social media are in hardcore lockdown mode, yes. And stores are becoming more restrictive with mask mandates and such. So...yeah. From where I sit, things are getting more restrictive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, you don’t know anyone who isn’t following strict precautions? I must know a bunch of rebels. I’m not condoning it, but you would be shocked at how many people are just going about like it was the summer of 2019.

I don't have local friends, so I'm not 100% sure what people are doing. My friends on social media are in hardcore lockdown mode, yes. And stores are becoming more restrictive with mask mandates and such. So...yeah. From where I sit, things are getting more restrictive.

Gee, I wonder why you don't have local friends. So very much MELODRAMA.

Step One: Get off, or greatly restrict, your social media consumption.

Step Two: Get a therapy appointment through telehealth to deal with your rampant, unchecked, out of proportion anxiety, before you do any further damage to your kid.

[Anonymous]

Are her grandparents currently dying any more than the majority of the human race is inching towards death? Then of course she'll see them.

Of course she'll hug her friends again.

You really ARE being dramatic.

[Anonymous]

I would start by taking her on a road trip and visiting grandparents (you can do full distancing before).

[Anonymous]

You're either a troll or need therapy. Either way, good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would start by taking her on a road trip and visiting grandparents (you can do full distancing before).

This.
OP is being dramatic. You don’t need to say anything. Don’t give your kid anxiety! Just enjoy this time & have fun with each other. That’s all six year olds need. You’re lucky she’s 6!

[Anonymous]

Wait. You aren’t letting her see her grandparents? Wow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It won’t ever go back? Are you this dramatic in real life? Life will eventually go back to normal. That’s how you explain it.

Odd that you've never heard the term "new normal" over the past few months. Is your hearing always this selective?

Oh for gods sake. The new normal after all this won’t even be noticeably different. Stop being overly dramatic. A year from now people will be doing everything they did before the pandemic. Frankly, probably in less time than that.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I’m about as anxious and locked down as they come but one day this WILL end. We may have some permanent changes- maybe masks on planes or when sick but we are not wearing masks everywhere the rest of our lives or social distancing forever either. It could be a while- maybe 6 months, 2 years? But it WILL go back to largely normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

Um, why on earth do you think your 6 y.o. will never do these things again?!

Say it with me now: new normal.

This is the dumbest phrase ever.

Things will go back to old normal. Some of you have no perspective. I bet it is the same people who refused to believe in February that this was going to happen. No ability to judge the future. It is really weird and crazy.

[Anonymous]

OP - you don’t understand what is going on. I am sorry. Your poor child. Maybe let her talk to some other adults who do.

[Anonymous]

DD (6) seems to understand this better than her parent. Sad!

[Anonymous]

Op, I work with Covid patients so I like to think that I have a little bit more of a real understanding than the average person.

Yes, there will be a new normal. But it isn't going to be what you're describing.

You kid will eventually go back to school (unless you forbid it)
Your kid will eventually be close to friends (again unless you keep her locked in the house)
Your kid will see her grandparents
Your kid will travel.

Your kid will do all the things you're claiming will NEVER happen. They may not look the same as they used to, but they will happen. The worst thing you can do is tell your kid that the life she knew is over. You can help her adjust to the new normal. Take her out in a controlled setting with a mask on. Since it is obvious you guys are social distancing to the extreme, why can't she see her grandparents?

You don't need to give exact time lines. When my 7 year old asks when he can go back to school...I'm honest and tell him that I don't know. We discuss why schools are still closed and why we can't have a time line to when things will open back up. Its the same conversation we have about the reasons why he can't do a lot of the things he used to do. But he knows there will come a time when he will be able to do them again, and that helps.

It sounds like you have a lot of anxieties about what the future may look like. And that is totally understandable. But I don't think you have a real grasp of the reality surrounding it and you may want to talk to a therapist about it.

[Anonymous]

I remember reading John McCainss autobiography - and they soldiers who didn’t make it out of the Hanoi Hilton were the ones who would say - we’ll be our my Xmas etc. the ones who said I’ll be out eventually survived and were rescued. I’d recommend therapy for you - teletherapy has been great. You need to have a growth mindset but for you and for your children. The sky is falling Mindset will set her up for a lifetime of negative outlook. Eventually we’ll have a vaccine, herd immunity, or people will stop caring bc the death rate is lower than the flu. The kids where I live are all in camp and swimming at the pool bc kids don’t seem to transmit. The adults are all socially distanced at their tables.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you do this? A six year old has limited understanding of time. Sounds like you are expecting her to make some mature acceptance which is unfair. This is not forever; we will distance and wear masks as long as the infection continues to be community acquired. They are working on vaccines which will help. Sounds like you want to upset her, to put adult problems on her shoulders. No reason to increase any anxiety she has; you’re her mom, it’s your job to make her life better not worse.

Excuse me? I said I haven't brought this up for exactly the reasons you stated - but at some point, she'll need to know the life she knew is gone and isn't coming back.

She'll know because she'll be living it. You can focus your energy on bringing your anxiety down one or two degrees. We're all basically screwed for the foreseeable future, but as someone above mentioned, this is a new normal. We'll get used to it and apapt.