How to tell my friend grappling with infertility that I’m pregnant?

[Anonymous]

I’m in the middle boat - had two hard conception times (one took 14 months) but didn’t have to end up with IVF. A few of my friends had bigger struggles. One had a series of miscarriages and I wrote her an email a week before I saw her, “Larla, I wanted to let you know before I see you, so you have space to process this news, that I’ll be 9 weeks pregnant when we get together.” It turns out she wrote back (knowing it had taken me awhile) “I’ll be 18 weeks!!! I was figuring out how to tell you.” So that was a wonderful surprise.

I had a friend (not a “best friend”) who I probably ruined my friendship with over how I handled things...She was the only person I knew who was a stay at home mom and she was facing secondary infertility. Our first fame VERY fast and I was worried if I went into labor at home no one could drive me. I told her I was sorry to ask, but was there any chance she could be on my call list if I needed help. She said no and our relationship cooled a lot after.

Good luck Op. glad you’re such a considerate friend. I think if you tell her in advance and give her some time to digest she’ll be happy for you, even if she’s also sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to announce your third pregnancy? Nobody gives a damn. Just

Do you think her friend is not going to notice when she suddenly has a giant pregnant belly and/or a third child in tow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to announce your third pregnancy? Nobody gives a damn. Just

Announce = tell. Yes, she should tell her friend vs. showing up one day with a belly.

[Anonymous]

I think the email should be a whole paragraph.

[Anonymous]

"Hi, I am so excited to see you next week. I wanted to let you know so that you are not caught off guard, that we are expecting again, due in January. I'm really looking forward to spending time together"
Love,
Larla