Plan to formula feed - how to handle with pushy LCs, nurses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bring formula.

This. I brought one of those packages of Similac nursettes with DC2, and it brought me a lot of peace of mind. Nursing DC1 was a nightmare, and while I don't think the L&D staff were horrible...I also didn't really feel supported. Well, until I burst into tears as we were being discharged, sobbing that I was afraid that DC1 would starve to death because I couldn't feed her. Then they offered me options.

So, for DC2 I brought formula, so I wouldn't have to ask for it if the baby needed it. He didn't, but it was great not to worry about having to interact with someone unsupportive if he needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Every time someone expresses concern about being bullied if they choose not to breastfeed, someone comes on here and says "nobody cares how you feed your baby", which is demonstrably false. Then people point that out to them and they say "yes well who cares? just do what you want". Actually, the way that women are treated in our health care institutions does matter. I think that women should be treated with dignity and respect, so yes, I care.

And yes, women get bullied for formula feeding and they get bullied for breastfeeding. Both things are true. In fact, they are two sides of the same misogynistic coin.

What is your solution, beyond women directly and firmly stating doing what they want to do, and doing exactly that? I'm honestly asking. What do you propose?

I'm proposing that women not rudely and sarcastically dismiss other women who don't want to be bullied after they have a baby. I'm not sure that fits your criteria of a "solution", but that I gotta say I do not care about.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm saying how do we lobby for that and get that message out beyond DCUM and other message boards?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Every time someone expresses concern about being bullied if they choose not to breastfeed, someone comes on here and says "nobody cares how you feed your baby", which is demonstrably false. Then people point that out to them and they say "yes well who cares? just do what you want". Actually, the way that women are treated in our health care institutions does matter. I think that women should be treated with dignity and respect, so yes, I care.

And yes, women get bullied for formula feeding and they get bullied for breastfeeding. Both things are true. In fact, they are two sides of the same misogynistic coin.

What is your solution, beyond women directly and firmly stating doing what they want to do, and doing exactly that? I'm honestly asking. What do you propose?

I'm proposing that women not rudely and sarcastically dismiss other women who don't want to be bullied after they have a baby. I'm not sure that fits your criteria of a "solution", but that I gotta say I do not care about.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm saying how do we lobby for that and get that message out beyond DCUM and other message boards?

Interesting, it sounded like your solution is "women directly and firmly stating doing what they want to do, and doing exactly that". Now you want to lobby? Have at it. Start with telling relevant officials (hospital boards, state, local and federal lawmakers) about how terrible Baby-Friendly hospitals are for women.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I found the Sibley nurses to be much more pushy about breastfeeding than the LCs. I wanted to breastfeed exclusively (although agree fed is best!) but when my baby was transferred to NICU for jaundice the doctors and nurses insisted I agree to use formula. I really did not want to because I wanted to give breastfeeding a chance and felt bottle and formula feeding would mess up that attempt at latching and bonding (no issues with giving formula at all, it's perfectly fine). Honestly giving the baby formula and bottles did make my subsequent attempts to breastfeed almost impossible but we eventually figured it out and I breastfed. All this is to say that in different scenarios you may come across advocates for and against bf and just stick to your guns and don't be pushed around.

[Anonymous]

Gave birth this summer at GW and had somewhat of an opposite experience- wanted to exclusively bf but was pressured to use formula Which they brought me. I was not expecting that at all and it was really stressful and disruptive. The people who downplay FTM being pressured about their feeding choices clearly have not experienced a pediatrician or nurse playing on your anxieties around the health of your baby to push you into doing something not best for you and your family. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I found the Sibley nurses to be much more pushy about breastfeeding than the LCs. I wanted to breastfeed exclusively (although agree fed is best!) but when my baby was transferred to NICU for jaundice the doctors and nurses insisted I agree to use formula. I really did not want to because I wanted to give breastfeeding a chance and felt bottle and formula feeding would mess up that attempt at latching and bonding (no issues with giving formula at all, it's perfectly fine). Honestly giving the baby formula and bottles did make my subsequent attempts to breastfeed almost impossible but we eventually figured it out and I breastfed. All this is to say that in different scenarios you may come across advocates for and against bf and just stick to your guns and don't be pushed around.

wtf? they required formula feeding to prevent your baby from getting brain damage from severe jaundice. if you “stuck to your guns” and refused formula you could have really harmed your newborn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gave birth this summer at GW and had somewhat of an opposite experience- wanted to exclusively bf but was pressured to use formula Which they brought me. I was not expecting that at all and it was really stressful and disruptive. The people who downplay FTM being pressured about their feeding choices clearly have not experienced a pediatrician or nurse playing on your anxieties around the health of your baby to push you into doing something not best for you and your family. It sucks.

My guess is that if they were urging formula at GW it was because your baby had lost a lot of weight or jaundice. That’s not “playing on anxieties around the health of your baby” - it’s providing medical care to your child.

[Anonymous]

No reputable hospital in any big city in America in the year 2020 is pushing formula for healthy, term infants. They just aren't. And if you had that experience you misunderstood the situation. I can unequivocally say that just doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave birth this summer at GW and had somewhat of an opposite experience- wanted to exclusively bf but was pressured to use formula Which they brought me. I was not expecting that at all and it was really stressful and disruptive. The people who downplay FTM being pressured about their feeding choices clearly have not experienced a pediatrician or nurse playing on your anxieties around the health of your baby to push you into doing something not best for you and your family. It sucks.

My guess is that if they were urging formula at GW it was because your baby had lost a lot of weight or jaundice. That’s not “playing on anxieties around the health of your baby” - it’s providing medical care to your child.

A bottle of formula is definitely doing what is best for your infant if they are dehydrated, excessively hungry, starving, or experiencing jaundice, which is very, very common until your milk comes in. Newborn dehydration due to exclusive breastfeeding is the number one cause of infant readmission to hospitals. What sucks is your misguided perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No reputable hospital in any big city in America in the year 2020 is pushing formula for healthy, term infants. They just aren't. And if you had that experience you misunderstood the situation. I can unequivocally say that just doesn't happen.

Look everyone, all-knowing God has weighed into this thread.

[Anonymous]

Eh there is a difference between being told not to breastfeed at all because formula is better (hospitals are not doing this) and being told to supplement with formula because your baby is hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh there is a difference between being told not to breastfeed at all because formula is better (hospitals are not doing this) and being told to supplement with formula because your baby is hungry.

PP from above, that's why I said "healthy, term infants". No one, NO ONE, is pushing formula unless there are extenuating circumstances. It just doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I found the Sibley nurses to be much more pushy about breastfeeding than the LCs. I wanted to breastfeed exclusively (although agree fed is best!) but when my baby was transferred to NICU for jaundice the doctors and nurses insisted I agree to use formula. I really did not want to because I wanted to give breastfeeding a chance and felt bottle and formula feeding would mess up that attempt at latching and bonding (no issues with giving formula at all, it's perfectly fine). Honestly giving the baby formula and bottles did make my subsequent attempts to breastfeed almost impossible but we eventually figured it out and I breastfed. All this is to say that in different scenarios you may come across advocates for and against bf and just stick to your guns and don't be pushed around.

wtf? they required formula feeding to prevent your baby from getting brain damage from severe jaundice. if you “stuck to your guns” and refused formula you could have really harmed your newborn.

PP here. Of course i told them to use formula. The doctor and nurses did however tell me to breastfeed and pump at first and then changed their tune which was disruptive and denigrated my trust in their medical advice. So when they said to use formula after some time had past and i was giving baby milk, it was confusing as someone who isn't a doctor and never had this experience before. But thanks for the judgment!

I mean that OP should stick to her convictions if she wants to use formula (or breastfeed or both) and not to let the doctors or nurses bully her into choosing something that she is not comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. This got nasty...fast. My intent was just to ask for the experience of other mothers who FF. Not start a debate. My first experience was awful. I had the nurse who came so my baby’s hearing test yell at me and grab my breasts telling me I was doing it wrong. Well, I wasn’t. My milk didn’t come in until day 5. So, I had a starving baby in the hospital and was told my only option was donor milk fed via syringe. Women should be able to know all the options available to them. And with my first, I didn’t have that. Thank you to those with all the helpful supportive comments - regardless of how you fed your babies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

Oh sweetie. You have NO idea what you’re talking about.

Really? How old are your kids? Mine are 2 and 4.

Modern day hospitals now know that women are free to make a choice and they support that, generally. Unless you're someone with weak resolve, like OP. Perhaps some nurse might see that as an opening to encourage breastfeeding. Still unlikely. They are busy and you'll be discharged within 24 hours because covid.

Sorry they strapped you to the bed and put you in twilight to have your kids. This is what happens now.

But go ahead and feed her hysterical anxieties about things that haven't even happened yet.

This literally happened to OP. Can you read? She HAD THIS EXPERIENCE in the past. Why are you gaslighting her and the rest of us who have had this happe to us? Why are you even in this thread if you have nothing compassionate or useful to contribute?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave birth this summer at GW and had somewhat of an opposite experience- wanted to exclusively bf but was pressured to use formula Which they brought me. I was not expecting that at all and it was really stressful and disruptive. The people who downplay FTM being pressured about their feeding choices clearly have not experienced a pediatrician or nurse playing on your anxieties around the health of your baby to push you into doing something not best for you and your family. It sucks.

My guess is that if they were urging formula at GW it was because your baby had lost a lot of weight or jaundice. That’s not “playing on anxieties around the health of your baby” - it’s providing medical care to your child.

Actually no. They told me to give formula because I could not pump 40 ml of colostrum every 2 hours.