Plan to formula feed - how to handle with pushy LCs, nurses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Come with your own formula and/or get formula samples from your pediatrician's office so that you can try a few kinds and see what baby likes.

I like the idea of a sign on your door.

I loved breastfeeding, but I know it's such a personal choice, and it makes me so angry to hear of women being pushed around.

There was one woman on DCUM once who, when pressed, looked at the LC and deadpanned "I was born without nipples." And repeated several times. Like, what can you say to that? I thought that was brilliant.

That's hilarious and brilliant.

1. Definitely take ready to feed formula with you.
2. Put up a sign and be matter of fact about it. No defensiveness or anxiety -- "nope, I just wanted everyone to know, because I didn't want any pressure about it."
3. Take a magnet for the sign, just in case (as noted above).
4. If you get any pressure, tell the nurse "I'm finding this stressful and upsetting. I don't want to discuss this. Please stop."
5. If that isn't respected, ask to speak to the "charge nurse."
6. If that isn't respected, ask to speak to the "patient advocate," or "patient ombudsman," or whomever handles patient complaints. The trick is to stay calm, even-voiced, non-defensive, but clear and firm. You don't want to discuss this, and you find being pressured to be "stressful and upsetting."
WOrst case scenario? You have no nipples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one truly cares if you breastfeed or not, they are just doing their job.

Bring a sign, but you might still get asked out of reflex. Lots of my colleagues also exclusively formula fed for various reasons. If someone gets rude, report them.

I mean, maybe, but their job is to be annoying about it. If women could simply say "I plan on formula feeding" And have that be that this board wouldn't have so many threads like these. Obviously some people truly do care how you feed your baby.

The only people that start these thread are new moms that haven't actually experienced any formula feeding judgment.

OP just wanted to start a debate.

And since you all keep pointing out the plethora of threads on this topic, maybe someone could explain to OP how to use the search function.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one truly cares if you breastfeed or not, they are just doing their job.

Bring a sign, but you might still get asked out of reflex. Lots of my colleagues also exclusively formula fed for various reasons. If someone gets rude, report them.

I mean, maybe, but their job is to be annoying about it. If women could simply say "I plan on formula feeding" And have that be that this board wouldn't have so many threads like these. Obviously some people truly do care how you feed your baby.

The only people that start these thread are new moms that haven't actually experienced any formula feeding judgment.

OP just wanted to start a debate.

And since you all keep pointing out the plethora of threads on this topic, maybe someone could explain to OP how to use the search function.

Either you're illiterate, or you're a liar. Which one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

You are the ignorant one. I breastfeed both of my kids from birth. Even so, nurses in the hospital:
-told me I should correct the latch "so I won't have to use any yucky formula filled with chemicals"
-told me not to worry about a more than 10% drop in weight because "then I would feel pressured to supplement"
-for my second when I said I felt bad because the baby seemed so hungry "well what are you going to do about it?" trying to bait me into saying give formula
-when I asked for ready to feed after the above interaction was told they would need to go speak to their supervision about that, sent someone in to try to talk me out of it, sent A SECOND PERSON IN to try to talk me out of it

I hope there's a pushback against this in future years. If I ever had a third I want to find the most baby unfriendly hospital I can.

that’s completely insane. what a freakin’ waste of resources!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

You are the ignorant one. I breastfeed both of my kids from birth. Even so, nurses in the hospital:
-told me I should correct the latch "so I won't have to use any yucky formula filled with chemicals"
-told me not to worry about a more than 10% drop in weight because "then I would feel pressured to supplement"
-for my second when I said I felt bad because the baby seemed so hungry "well what are you going to do about it?" trying to bait me into saying give formula
-when I asked for ready to feed after the above interaction was told they would need to go speak to their supervision about that, sent someone in to try to talk me out of it, sent A SECOND PERSON IN to try to talk me out of it

I hope there's a pushback against this in future years. If I ever had a third I want to find the most baby unfriendly hospital I can.

Your experience is completely irrelevant to the topic since they knew you intended to breastfeed. They were working to support your choice. So sad that you can't see it that way. You do an awful lot of projecting here. They were trying to bait you? Um, okay. Your baby dropped more than 10% weight while you were still admitted? Something else going on there. A SECOND PERSON came into your room. Wow, you don't say.

That's interesting for any mother to say she is seeking out a baby-unfriendly hospital. Telling, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

You are the ignorant one. I breastfeed both of my kids from birth. Even so, nurses in the hospital:
-told me I should correct the latch "so I won't have to use any yucky formula filled with chemicals"
-told me not to worry about a more than 10% drop in weight because "then I would feel pressured to supplement"
-for my second when I said I felt bad because the baby seemed so hungry "well what are you going to do about it?" trying to bait me into saying give formula
-when I asked for ready to feed after the above interaction was told they would need to go speak to their supervision about that, sent someone in to try to talk me out of it, sent A SECOND PERSON IN to try to talk me out of it

I hope there's a pushback against this in future years. If I ever had a third I want to find the most baby unfriendly hospital I can.

Your experience is completely irrelevant to the topic since they knew you intended to breastfeed. They were working to support your choice. So sad that you can't see it that way. You do an awful lot of projecting here. They were trying to bait you? Um, okay. Your baby dropped more than 10% weight while you were still admitted? Something else going on there. A SECOND PERSON came into your room. Wow, you don't say.

That's interesting for any mother to say she is seeking out a baby-unfriendly hospital. Telling, really.

oh stop. it’s not “supporting her choice” to harass her when she asks to supplement. it’s paternalistically refusing to listen to her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one truly cares if you breastfeed or not, they are just doing their job.

Bring a sign, but you might still get asked out of reflex. Lots of my colleagues also exclusively formula fed for various reasons. If someone gets rude, report them.

I mean, maybe, but their job is to be annoying about it. If women could simply say "I plan on formula feeding" And have that be that this board wouldn't have so many threads like these. Obviously some people truly do care how you feed your baby.

The only people that start these thread are new moms that haven't actually experienced any formula feeding judgment.

OP just wanted to start a debate.

And since you all keep pointing out the plethora of threads on this topic, maybe someone could explain to OP how to use the search function.

Either you're illiterate, or you're a liar. Which one?

Think about the question you posed. Take all the time you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

Oh sweetie. You have NO idea what you’re talking about.

Really? How old are your kids? Mine are 2 and 4.

Modern day hospitals now know that women are free to make a choice and they support that, generally. Unless you're someone with weak resolve, like OP. Perhaps some nurse might see that as an opening to encourage breastfeeding. Still unlikely. They are busy and you'll be discharged within 24 hours because covid.

Sorry they strapped you to the bed and put you in twilight to have your kids. This is what happens now.

But go ahead and feed her hysterical anxieties about things that haven't even happened yet.

“weak resolve,” really? NO health care issue should depend on the “resolve” of the patient. A new mom should be asked what she wants (in that moment) and be given what she asks for, no more questions asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

You are the ignorant one. I breastfeed both of my kids from birth. Even so, nurses in the hospital:
-told me I should correct the latch "so I won't have to use any yucky formula filled with chemicals"
-told me not to worry about a more than 10% drop in weight because "then I would feel pressured to supplement"
-for my second when I said I felt bad because the baby seemed so hungry "well what are you going to do about it?" trying to bait me into saying give formula
-when I asked for ready to feed after the above interaction was told they would need to go speak to their supervision about that, sent someone in to try to talk me out of it, sent A SECOND PERSON IN to try to talk me out of it

I hope there's a pushback against this in future years. If I ever had a third I want to find the most baby unfriendly hospital I can.

Your experience is completely irrelevant to the topic since they knew you intended to breastfeed. They were working to support your choice. So sad that you can't see it that way. You do an awful lot of projecting here. They were trying to bait you? Um, okay. Your baby dropped more than 10% weight while you were still admitted? Something else going on there. A SECOND PERSON came into your room. Wow, you don't say.

That's interesting for any mother to say she is seeking out a baby-unfriendly hospital. Telling, really.

I'm the former L&D nurse who posted earlier. Actually, I'm mostly in agreement with the earlier PP. If a mom says "I want ready to feed formula, there should be no "oh I have to talk to my supervisor" or sending in another person to try to convince the mom otherwise. It is the Mom's decision how to feed the baby. The "baby friendly" push was actually a big reason why I left L&D. For many people, they would never know the ridiculous policies we had because it never came up.

[Anonymous]

Just had a baby last year. Despite me saying I wanted to formula feed straight from the start had a lactation consultant and nurse try to persuade me how breastfeeding would be so good for the baby and to reconsider. Breastfeeding immediately written on my hospital plan, I rubbed it off and wrote formula feeding. So yes the pressure is still there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one truly cares if you breastfeed or not, they are just doing their job.

Bring a sign, but you might still get asked out of reflex. Lots of my colleagues also exclusively formula fed for various reasons. If someone gets rude, report them.

I mean, maybe, but their job is to be annoying about it. If women could simply say "I plan on formula feeding" And have that be that this board wouldn't have so many threads like these. Obviously some people truly do care how you feed your baby.

The only people that start these thread are new moms that haven't actually experienced any formula feeding judgment.

OP just wanted to start a debate.

And since you all keep pointing out the plethora of threads on this topic, maybe someone could explain to OP how to use the search function.

Either you're illiterate, or you're a liar. Which one?

Think about the question you posed. Take all the time you need.

That was intentional. I'm calling you a liar, since you are posting lies. Thanks for playing.

[Anonymous]

I'm due in a few weeks at a newly baby-friendly hospital. I think they were "on their way" a few years ago when I had DD. So that means no trips to the nursery for the baby so I can get a whole 3-hour block of sleep! Ugh, I'm hoping to be discharged the same day if possible.

I'll be bringing my own ready to feed formula along with me. I had no problems with the early days of breastfeeding with either kid, but I'll be ready to do what I think is best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one truly cares if you breastfeed or not, they are just doing their job.

Bring a sign, but you might still get asked out of reflex. Lots of my colleagues also exclusively formula fed for various reasons. If someone gets rude, report them.

I mean, maybe, but their job is to be annoying about it. If women could simply say "I plan on formula feeding" And have that be that this board wouldn't have so many threads like these. Obviously some people truly do care how you feed your baby.

The only people that start these thread are new moms that haven't actually experienced any formula feeding judgment.

OP just wanted to start a debate.

And since you all keep pointing out the plethora of threads on this topic, maybe someone could explain to OP how to use the search function.

Maybe actually read OP's post before you get on your horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

Oh sweetie. You have NO idea what you’re talking about.

Really? How old are your kids? Mine are 2 and 4.

Modern day hospitals now know that women are free to make a choice and they support that, generally. Unless you're someone with weak resolve, like OP. Perhaps some nurse might see that as an opening to encourage breastfeeding. Still unlikely. They are busy and you'll be discharged within 24 hours because covid.

Sorry they strapped you to the bed and put you in twilight to have your kids. This is what happens now.

But go ahead and feed her hysterical anxieties about things that haven't even happened yet.

This literally happened to OP. Can you read? She HAD THIS EXPERIENCE in the past. Why are you gaslighting her and the rest of us who have had this happe to us? Why are you even in this thread if you have nothing compassionate or useful to contribute?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Every time someone expresses concern about being bullied if they choose not to breastfeed, someone comes on here and says "nobody cares how you feed your baby", which is demonstrably false. Then people point that out to them and they say "yes well who cares? just do what you want". Actually, the way that women are treated in our health care institutions does matter. I think that women should be treated with dignity and respect, so yes, I care.

And yes, women get bullied for formula feeding and they get bullied for breastfeeding. Both things are true. In fact, they are two sides of the same misogynistic coin.

What is your solution, beyond women directly and firmly stating doing what they want to do, and doing exactly that? I'm honestly asking. What do you propose?

I'm proposing that women not rudely and sarcastically dismiss other women who don't want to be bullied after they have a baby. I'm not sure that fits your criteria of a "solution", but that I gotta say I do not care about.