Plan to formula feed - how to handle with pushy LCs, nurses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put a sign in your room.

Agree with all of the posters who mentioned making a sign for your door.

When I was in PP Recovery with my first I saw a few signs noting "No Male Staff" as well.

Congrats OP! Also is there a specific brand of formula you like or prefer? I plan to combo feed my DD when she arrives.

Gerber soothe worked great with my first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

This post is not only bitchy, it's false. I breastfed and I was still got the "you're not going to ask for FORMULA, are you?" treatment at GW when it wasn't going well. There is pressure in certain quarters, OP experienced it the first time around herself.

+1

I intended to (and did successfully) exclusively breastfeed my baby, but I'm definitely fed is best and I had heard enough horror stories from people I trusted that I brought some ready to feed formula bottles with me just in case. If my baby was hungry, and nursing wasn't enough to satiate him, then I was going to feed him some formula, and I wasn't going to go 12 rounds with some "baby friendly" nurse about it.

Never actually had to use it (and all my nurses were fabulous), but I think it's smart to be prepared when you're going to be emotionally and physically overwhelmed in a place that differs from you ideologically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP I found the nurses, LCs, etc very pushy and unpleasant the first time around (although I really wanted to nurse), and I think for a second delivery I'll just ignore them or politely tell them I've got a plan. Part of the problem as a FTM was just feeling so out of my depth that it was like I had to let anyone with any iota of authority bully me or I was somehow endangering my baby. I now know that I can keep a baby alive so I don't think I'll be as vulnerable to pushy people.

I'm sorry you went through that, but your post made me smile. I never got to have #2, but I think I would have felt the same way! I definitely did with #1. Glad you trusted yourself the second time 'round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

You are the ignorant one. I breastfeed both of my kids from birth. Even so, nurses in the hospital:
-told me I should correct the latch "so I won't have to use any yucky formula filled with chemicals"
-told me not to worry about a more than 10% drop in weight because "then I would feel pressured to supplement"
-for my second when I said I felt bad because the baby seemed so hungry "well what are you going to do about it?" trying to bait me into saying give formula
-when I asked for ready to feed after the above interaction was told they would need to go speak to their supervision about that, sent someone in to try to talk me out of it, sent A SECOND PERSON IN to try to talk me out of it

I hope there's a pushback against this in future years. If I ever had a third I want to find the most baby unfriendly hospital I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people will say this is douchey, but I'd bring a little sign that says "I'm not nursing, please don't ask." and put it on the door.

Agree. If they keep asking tell them to buzz off!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

Oh sweetie. You have NO idea what you’re talking about.

[Anonymous]

Just gave birth at VHC. No breast milk until 5 days post delivery. Gave baby individual bottles of formula while at hospital. No pushy lactation consultants. No judgment.

[Anonymous]

No one truly cares if you breastfeed or not, they are just doing their job.

Bring a sign, but you might still get asked out of reflex. Lots of my colleagues also exclusively formula fed for various reasons. If someone gets rude, report them.

[Anonymous]

Come with your own formula and/or get formula samples from your pediatrician's office so that you can try a few kinds and see what baby likes.

I like the idea of a sign on your door.

I loved breastfeeding, but I know it's such a personal choice, and it makes me so angry to hear of women being pushed around.

There was one woman on DCUM once who, when pressed, looked at the LC and deadpanned "I was born without nipples." And repeated several times. Like, what can you say to that? I thought that was brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one truly cares if you breastfeed or not, they are just doing their job.

Bring a sign, but you might still get asked out of reflex. Lots of my colleagues also exclusively formula fed for various reasons. If someone gets rude, report them.

I mean, maybe, but their job is to be annoying about it. If women could simply say "I plan on formula feeding" And have that be that this board wouldn't have so many threads like these. Obviously some people truly do care how you feed your baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one truly cares if you breastfeed or not, they are just doing their job.

Bring a sign, but you might still get asked out of reflex. Lots of my colleagues also exclusively formula fed for various reasons. If someone gets rude, report them.

I mean, maybe, but their job is to be annoying about it. If women could simply say "I plan on formula feeding" And have that be that this board wouldn't have so many threads like these. Obviously some people truly do care how you feed your baby.

NP. OK, yes...yes, and? A lot of people seem to care about a lot of things that women do and how they live their lives. Point to the sign, say "I ain't breastfeeding, so you can wipe that smug off your mug." I find that directly telling people where to shove their opinions is very freeing, and saves a lot of time.

[Anonymous]

NP. Every time someone expresses concern about being bullied if they choose not to breastfeed, someone comes on here and says "nobody cares how you feed your baby", which is demonstrably false. Then people point that out to them and they say "yes well who cares? just do what you want". Actually, the way that women are treated in our health care institutions does matter. I think that women should be treated with dignity and respect, so yes, I care.

And yes, women get bullied for formula feeding and they get bullied for breastfeeding. Both things are true. In fact, they are two sides of the same misogynistic coin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Every time someone expresses concern about being bullied if they choose not to breastfeed, someone comes on here and says "nobody cares how you feed your baby", which is demonstrably false. Then people point that out to them and they say "yes well who cares? just do what you want". Actually, the way that women are treated in our health care institutions does matter. I think that women should be treated with dignity and respect, so yes, I care.

And yes, women get bullied for formula feeding and they get bullied for breastfeeding. Both things are true. In fact, they are two sides of the same misogynistic coin.

What is your solution, beyond women directly and firmly stating doing what they want to do, and doing exactly that? I'm honestly asking. What do you propose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

Oh sweetie. You have NO idea what you’re talking about.

+1. I didn't have enough milk to satisfy DD, and she became inconsolable in the hospital. Finally an older nurse came in with some formula and told me, you have a big baby and she's hungry. A little formula will help until your milk comes in. She said she'd get in trouble, though, for suggesting formula. This was Washington Adventist Hospital in TP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an ignorant question that comes up often from expecting mothers that clearly have some unresolved feelings about their choice to FF their baby.

No one cares what you do. No one is going to pressure you. Just state you are not breastfeeding. Really it's quite simple without your (gasp!) histrionics.

Oh sweetie. You have NO idea what you’re talking about.

Really? How old are your kids? Mine are 2 and 4.

Modern day hospitals now know that women are free to make a choice and they support that, generally. Unless you're someone with weak resolve, like OP. Perhaps some nurse might see that as an opening to encourage breastfeeding. Still unlikely. They are busy and you'll be discharged within 24 hours because covid.

Sorry they strapped you to the bed and put you in twilight to have your kids. This is what happens now.

But go ahead and feed her hysterical anxieties about things that haven't even happened yet.