In what nuanced ways did you NOT realize you had white privilege?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can literally walk into most any store and people don't wonder what I'm doing there.

I've been in some upscale boutique stores and had that reaction (I'm a size 14-16). I cannot imagine how difficult it must be going through that on a regular basis.

I'm white and UMC now, but have class markers from my LMC upbringing. There is a lot of overlap between classism and racism. The whole thing about getting a receipt, not using personal bags, and the type of store you fit in were definitely part of how I was raised. A major difference between classism and racism is the escalation of response -- a black man faces a physical danger but as a white woman, it's not.

I think a lot of white people who grew up LMC recognize these things as something they knew not to do and dismiss the racism side without realising it's "yes, and ...".

+1. I am white, grew up LMC, and wouldn’t do the things UMC describe, but understand that if I did, the consequences wouldn’t be as bad as if I were black.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bought a hoodie at American Apparel and they forgot to take the security sensor off; it was hidden under the hood and I didn’t even notice it until weeks or months later when I set off an alarm in a different store. I laughed and asked the sales associates if they could take it off for me, and they did with no questions asked. They still might have thought that I stole the hoodie, but A) they took the sensor off and we all joked about it and B) I wasn’t for a second embarrassed or ashamed to be caught with the sensor on me; at the time it didn’t really even cross my mind how bad it looked for me. It was only upon reflection later that the thought occurred that it could have gone very very differently and probably would have if I wasn’t white.

I bought a deeply discounted item at a Disney store where the cashier radios your description and purchase to the loss prevention officer at the door. After getting home I found she'd forgotten to remove the RFID and of course by that time I'd thrown away the receipt. Fortunately my husband was able to remove it because I dont know if I would have taken it back for removal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really freaks me out as a POC when I see white people open packages and eat things or give things to their kids to eat or to play with in stores BEFORE they pay for them. Doing that could so easily get me arrested.

Most white people don't do that.

Most white people who do that pay for it at the counter.

There was that pregnant white woman who forgot to pay for a sandwich she ate while shopping, was arrested on the spot for shoplifting, and the state took custody of her 2yo. That's enough for me not to do it.

My white friend did the same thing in NYC with her two kids and stroller - went all the way through checkout for a whole bunch of groceries but got distracted and forgot to pay. She was detained by the security guards, and would have been arrested had she not signed an agreement to be banned for life from the grocery store. Of course that’s a real outlier experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is similar -- I've brought my own shopping bag into stores, strolled around putting a few groceries in it, and then gone to the checkout and emptied it onto the conveyor belt. Just to avoid dragging around a basket.

Pure white privilege. I've stopped doing it.

I do that too and I am asian

NP. I never do that. I’d be scared of someone accusing me of stealing.

- white woman

+1. I’m also very conscious of going straight to the returns desk when I return something. Never eaten something before paying for it either. Maybe it’s white privilege that they get away with it, but doing it in the first place is more than that — arrogance is probably the best word.

-white woman

Agreed.

Arrogance and the knowledge that usually they will be just fine. Because if you're white and UMC, usually you will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is similar -- I've brought my own shopping bag into stores, strolled around putting a few groceries in it, and then gone to the checkout and emptied it onto the conveyor belt. Just to avoid dragging around a basket.

Pure white privilege. I've stopped doing it.

I hope you're still using the environmentally-friendly personal bag! I get your point about being seen putting stuff in a personal bag, and how whites can do that but not blacks. But you can still whip out your enviro-friendly bag at checkout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is similar -- I've brought my own shopping bag into stores, strolled around putting a few groceries in it, and then gone to the checkout and emptied it onto the conveyor belt. Just to avoid dragging around a basket.

Pure white privilege. I've stopped doing it.

I do that too and I am asian

NP. I never do that. I’d be scared of someone accusing me of stealing.

- white woman

+1. I’m also very conscious of going straight to the returns desk when I return something. Never eaten something before paying for it either. Maybe it’s white privilege that they get away with it, but doing it in the first place is more than that — arrogance is probably the best word.

-white woman

Agreed.

+1 Absolutely. So sick of everyone assuming that things are "white privilege" when they're really just a woman being arrogant. I saw two black women throwing food on a train once. I would NEVER do that. Nobody stopped her. Actually, everyone just pretended not to notice. Am I supposed to conclude that all black women are arrogant jerks who throw things on public transport??

I know that racism exists but this isn't it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really freaks me out as a POC when I see white people open packages and eat things or give things to their kids to eat or to play with in stores BEFORE they pay for them. Doing that could so easily get me arrested.

I am white, and I view this as stealing no matter what your race.

+1. I'm white too, and I'd never do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can literally walk into most any store and people don't wonder what I'm doing there.

I've been in some upscale boutique stores and had that reaction (I'm a size 14-16). I cannot imagine how difficult it must be going through that on a regular basis.

I'm white and UMC now, but have class markers from my LMC upbringing. There is a lot of overlap between classism and racism. The whole thing about getting a receipt, not using personal bags, and the type of store you fit in were definitely part of how I was raised. A major difference between classism and racism is the escalation of response -- a black man faces a physical danger but as a white woman, it's not.

I think a lot of white people who grew up LMC recognize these things as something they knew not to do and dismiss the racism side without realising it's "yes, and ...".

+1. I am white, grew up LMC, and wouldn’t do the things UMC describe, but understand that if I did, the consequences wouldn’t be as bad as if I were black.

+2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is similar -- I've brought my own shopping bag into stores, strolled around putting a few groceries in it, and then gone to the checkout and emptied it onto the conveyor belt. Just to avoid dragging around a basket.

Pure white privilege. I've stopped doing it.

I hope you're still using the environmentally-friendly personal bag! I get your point about being seen putting stuff in a personal bag, and how whites can do that but not blacks. But you can still whip out your enviro-friendly bag at checkout.

Our Wegman's has started encouraging people to use their self-scan app. I have to admit I feel really weird doing it and I'm paranoid that I'll forget to scan something. I also wonder how people who are not white women feel about using it, LMC upbringing or not.

[Anonymous]

I'm the straight-out-of-central casting, typical WASP female who gets chatted up and approached by male and female strangers of all ages to ask for help/directions/my opinion on a purchase. Babies and toddlers smile at me.

[Anonymous]

when I walk up to a service counter and the sales persons comes over quickly and says "may I help you" despite there being a black person also waiting quitely at the counter. I was blind to it for a while, for many years now though I've just responded "he/she was here first".

[Anonymous]

quietly, I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is "Oh, I don't need a receipt."

I can't tell you how many times I've said no thank you to a bag or a receipt b/c I have a canvas bag, or whatever I'm buying will fit in my tote, and I don't want yet one more piece of paper to shred at home. I hadn't quite realized that all black people were making sure every little thing they bought had a receipt and a bag. What's yours?

I’m sorry...what??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The receipt thing for me, too. Also, walking in with returns and not worrying about whether someone would think I had stolen it that day. DH is Latino and he helped me see this stuff. We joke about it between ourselves--he points out I strut around with all the confidence of a white lady.

They can now scan the product and if you pop in the card you use, the computer has it in their system

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is similar -- I've brought my own shopping bag into stores, strolled around putting a few groceries in it, and then gone to the checkout and emptied it onto the conveyor belt. Just to avoid dragging around a basket.

Pure white privilege. I've stopped doing it.

I hope you're still using the environmentally-friendly personal bag! I get your point about being seen putting stuff in a personal bag, and how whites can do that but not blacks. But you can still whip out your enviro-friendly bag at checkout.

Oh, I definitely am! But now I put the reusable bag into a store shopping basket and bag at checkout. Like environmentally conscious POCs have to.