Do private schools require (or request) financial aid families with SAHM get a job? If yes, how?

[Anonymous]

People assume. DH and I work in public sector jobs. We drive modest cars and live in a modest home. But if I were to trade in my Honda for a Cadillac or some such, you’d see posts like, OMG, this FA family is buying luxury SUVs! BTW, we are full pay b/c of investment income that we don’t discuss with people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

That’s okay. I’d endure worse to get my kid the education he’s getting now. And yes, in our family both parents work. We’ve made frugal choices – 10 year old Honda, small townhouse in a not fashionable part of town, modest vacations – but I’m also aware that if we had made different choices, we would be judged. I can live with it. I honestly think that most of the other parents don’t care, and the ones who do and gossip aren’t very nice people anyway so I don’t really care what they think of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting to hear how everyone knows who gets aid or not.

The OP's friend is transparent about her family receiving financial aid (and wanting more).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

If they sit on their butt all day, posting the morning's latte art, and complain about wanting more and more aid, yes, this is what people think. But nobody judges financial aid families with two working parents and good kids. Nobody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting to hear how everyone knows who gets aid or not.

The OP's friend is transparent about her family receiving financial aid (and wanting more).

Right, I meant other posters who have chimed in, saying they know who is or isn’t on FA. I had thought this would not be something a lot of people are that forthcoming about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Well, there is one way to avoid this... don't be a freeloading layabout SAHM. Get a darn job. Any mother can go get a part-time job at childcare facility. Or Target's always hiring -- $15/hr x 20 hrs week is $15,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Well, there is one way to avoid this... don't be a freeloading layabout SAHM. Get a darn job. Any mother can go get a part-time job at childcare facility. Or Target's always hiring -- $15/hr x 20 hrs week is $15,000.

Tell us how you really feel! “Freeloading layabout SAHM”? Really? Just admit you’re jealous and let it go. Maybe you’re a workaholic, absentee parent who values money over their kids. Hear how that sounds? Don’t make snap judgments about lifestyles and choices that are different from your own. You do you.

Maybe that SAHM you think of as lazy has a chronic health condition that you don’t know about, or elderly parents that she takes care of, or a child with a developmental delay. You just don’t know. You see her as not working - period - and it burns you up. You have no clue what her family situation is since you’re just looking from the outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can tell who the scamming SAHMs are in this thread.

I bet you can't.

[Anonymous]

If this family went to our school, they are most likely not getting a full ride (most families do not) and there would be imputed income added to theirs to adjust for the mother electing to stay at home. Whether or not she realizes this? Who knows.

Not really your business as others have said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

If they sit on their butt all day, posting the morning's latte art, and complain about wanting more and more aid, yes, this is what people think. But nobody judges financial aid families with two working parents and good kids. Nobody.

PPs sure do judge FA families and I doubt they are alone at their private - or yours.

[Anonymous]

We were a 2 income family, full pay, when one parent left the workforce due to a medical issue. Our school reached out to us and offered to consider aid mid year. And then gave us significant aid.

In our case the medical issue is with a child, and visible, so the community knows, but there are plenty of invisible health needs. I am not saying that is the case here, just that schools do look at a variety of factors.

My guess is that the reason her aid is low is because the school thinks they have options. But I also know families who seem to have much larger incomes than we did before the illness who complain that they don’t have aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting to hear how everyone knows who gets aid or not.

I only know of two families at my kids' schools who get some FA, and that is because we are fairly close and they've told me (I forget the context) Otherwise, I have no idea, but I don't spend a lot of time speculating. Actually no time. I also don't know which families are funded by grandparents, except for one who again told me.

I don't think it serves anyone well to delve into spending habits and lifestyles of fellow parents - you will never know the full story - and you will never be satisfied with the answers.

Instead focus on school administration - do you trust them to steward the school well - attract and retain a student body and community of families that benefit the overall community. I assume that our school (and others) put a lot of thought and effort into awarding financial aid and do not hand out those hard earned dollars lightly.

[Anonymous]

You are highly offensive and should be ashamed of yourself, OP.

Who are you to judge another adult's decision about how much and what type of work is "enough"? Some people have hidden disabilities and cannot work. Some foreigners do not have work visas. And a lot of people have decided that a parent at home relieves stress on the entire household.

If you have a problem with your private school dispensing aid to other families, then take it up with the school, not individual families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope FA families are taking note. No matter how good the rhetoric at your school, this is what people really think. Wow.

Has there been another thread about this? There must be, but I haven’t seen it. The OP sounds very petty and bitter. I’m not a SAHM, but my mother was and she worked so hard to take care of us and our home. I couldn’t put a dollar figure on what she did for all of us. If there was a Target back then, I’m sure she would have been there getting us what we needed (you said that was one of this woman’s common activities). I quit FB because I find it stressful, but when I did do it, it didn’t take any time to throw up a post.
OP, this SAHM might be an extreme case. I don’t know any who don’t clean, cook, run all errands, and a myriad of other things.

That would be the same stuff that working mothers do while also paying for a SAHMs tuition.

Unless they have a nanny/au pair/housekeeper.