Do private schools require (or request) financial aid families with SAHM get a job? If yes, how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really not your business. But if it bothers you that much to hear about it, don't hang out around her.

If this person donates to the school, it is arguably her business--the financial funds come from other parents, not from thin air.

No, it's not. At all.

Only every check someone else's bowl to make sure they have enough.

Jesus.

I don't really understand why you are reacting so strongly to this. If you give to a charitable organization, don't you want to know how the money is allocated? Pretty standard. No, parents don't get to make the decisions, but they should have enough information to decide whether they want to donate based on how the system works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The schools themselves may not necessarily care, but they rely in part on the results of the financial aid application. TADS seems to inquire more than SSS does (and are more frugal in their suggested aid due to the expected family contribution). The school takes the suggestion and makes a decision based on the number of families in need, their endowment, and some other factors. Is the mom active within the school community?

Not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're not a financial aid family but we're close with a family who is. I went to college with the mom, who constantly complains about private school's aid offer. She doesn't work and her husband isn't making big bucks. It was understandable when the youngest was a toddler, I guess, but youngest is now in 2nd grade, so there's no excuse that she can't work a part-time job. I wasn't sure how or if private schools nudge aid families that it's expected both work? Is it just written on forms or do they come out and tell you directly? Because clearly she hasn't gotten the hint.

For the record, her pre-Corona routine was spent posting all day on Facebook, Starbucks visits, walking neighborhood with another (far wealthier) SAHM, and aimlessly browsing Target, Whole Foods and Trader Joes until the kids needed to be picked up from school.

I just don't get how someone could be so clueless that the rest of her girlfriends are working all day (to pay for private), while she's idle, yet thinks her kids deserve a full boat of aid. It's bugs me so much. Is it entitlement or genuine cluelessness?

No one is getting “full boat” at dc area private day schools.

It’s not about her getting “full boat” it’s about her expecting a fuller boat, i.e. more aid to sit on her butt. Her kids are all in school. She can now work part-time. She could very easily get a job at a day care, for example.

[Anonymous]

We have neighbors who put their house into a trust and did some sketchy stuff to have the wife declared disabled in order to get money for college. I have to believe that this kind of stuff catches up with you in the end. On paper they are impoverished (they don't even own a house! Both parents are unemployed! Dad gets an income from the trust or something). There will always be scammers. I think a SAHM who asks for financial aid rather than getting a job is a scammer unless she has a disabled child or something.

[Anonymous]

It’s both entitlement and cluelessness, OP — on YOUR part.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

maybe just say to her next time, I wish we got any financial aid! it seems like a really galling conversation to have her tell you she wants more money. what a strange dynamic and I would try and shut her down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:maybe just say to her next time, I wish we got any financial aid! it seems like a really galling conversation to have her tell you she wants more money. what a strange dynamic and I would try and shut her down.

This- but get ready for her to tell you why she can’t work outside of the home. Even if you think her reason is BS, I guarantee you has one (or more) and she’s going to blast you.

[Anonymous]

I love this forum!

“Isn’t our school wonderful with giving sooo much FA!”
“We don’t even know who gets FA. It doesn’t matter since we are such a supportive community!”
“All the kids are treated the same regardless of FA.”

lol

You figure out who gets FA, you gossip about it and you treat FA families differently. Guaranteed your kids pick up on your attitude and take it to school with them.

[Anonymous]

So bring it up with your friend, or ask for a meeting with the development director to share your concerns. None of us are interested in bitching about your friend with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really not your business. But if it bothers you that much to hear about it, don't hang out around her.

If this person donates to the school, it is arguably her business--the financial funds come from other parents, not from thin air.

No, it's not. At all.

Only every check someone else's bowl to make sure they have enough.

Jesus.

I don't really understand why you are reacting so strongly to this. If you give to a charitable organization, don't you want to know how the money is allocated? Pretty standard. No, parents don't get to make the decisions, but they should have enough information to decide whether they want to donate based on how the system works.

Then OP's issue is witg the school she donates to, not her friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love this forum!

“Isn’t our school wonderful with giving sooo much FA!”
“We don’t even know who gets FA. It doesn’t matter since we are such a supportive community!”
“All the kids are treated the same regardless of FA.”

lol

You figure out who gets FA, you gossip about it and you treat FA families differently. Guaranteed your kids pick up on your attitude and take it to school with them.

FA families are different - they get the same product for less than what we pay for it. And a reminder, private school is a luxury good. There are FREE school available to everyone. If you can't afford private school, DON'T GO.

[Anonymous]

I’m just curious how much is tuition at your school, OP.

I agree that they should not get FA if they can afford to keep one parent at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 We are at a k-8 and we know a few families that have SAH(MOM) and they get aid. It drives us all crazy. In one family, her kids are in middle school and high school years and this has been happening since k.

How do you know they get aid?

[Anonymous]

yeah makes me want to not donate

[Anonymous]

You should stop donating and tell your school why.