Do private schools require (or request) financial aid families with SAHM get a job? If yes, how?

[Anonymous]

We're not a financial aid family but we're close with a family who is. I went to college with the mom, who constantly complains about private school's aid offer. She doesn't work and her husband isn't making big bucks. It was understandable when the youngest was a toddler, I guess, but youngest is now in 2nd grade, so there's no excuse that she can't work a part-time job. I wasn't sure how or if private schools nudge aid families that it's expected both work? Is it just written on forms or do they come out and tell you directly? Because clearly she hasn't gotten the hint.

For the record, her pre-Corona routine was spent posting all day on Facebook, Starbucks visits, walking neighborhood with another (far wealthier) SAHM, and aimlessly browsing Target, Whole Foods and Trader Joes until the kids needed to be picked up from school.

I just don't get how someone could be so clueless that the rest of her girlfriends are working all day (to pay for private), while she's idle, yet thinks her kids deserve a full boat of aid. It's bugs me so much. Is it entitlement or genuine cluelessness?

[Anonymous]

It's really not your business. But if it bothers you that much to hear about it, don't hang out around her.

[Anonymous]

It's not your business. The financial aid formula usually accounts for the SAH parent earning some income, whether the income is actually earned or not ("imputed" income). But if this family can make it work without her actually earning the income, then the family is entitled to do that - the school doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not your business. The financial aid formula usually accounts for the SAH parent earning some income, whether the income is actually earned or not ("imputed" income). But if this family can make it work without her actually earning the income, then the family is entitled to do that - the school doesn't care.

As someone totally unfamiliar with the formula, does it account for ~ $24,000 part-time job or more than that even?

[Anonymous]

Is it possible she doesn't know their aid package reflects an "imputed" income for her or is this made very clear to families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're not a financial aid family but we're close with a family who is. I went to college with the mom, who constantly complains about private school's aid offer. She doesn't work and her husband isn't making big bucks. It was understandable when the youngest was a toddler, I guess, but youngest is now in 2nd grade, so there's no excuse that she can't work a part-time job. I wasn't sure how or if private schools nudge aid families that it's expected both work? Is it just written on forms or do they come out and tell you directly? Because clearly she hasn't gotten the hint.

For the record, her pre-Corona routine was spent posting all day on Facebook, Starbucks visits, walking neighborhood with another (far wealthier) SAHM, and aimlessly browsing Target, Whole Foods and Trader Joes until the kids needed to be picked up from school.

I just don't get how someone could be so clueless that the rest of her girlfriends are working all day (to pay for private), while she's idle, yet thinks her kids deserve a full boat of aid. It's bugs me so much. Is it entitlement or genuine cluelessness?

No one is getting “full boat” at dc area private day schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're not a financial aid family but we're close with a family who is. I went to college with the mom, who constantly complains about private school's aid offer. She doesn't work and her husband isn't making big bucks. It was understandable when the youngest was a toddler, I guess, but youngest is now in 2nd grade, so there's no excuse that she can't work a part-time job. I wasn't sure how or if private schools nudge aid families that it's expected both work? Is it just written on forms or do they come out and tell you directly? Because clearly she hasn't gotten the hint.

For the record, her pre-Corona routine was spent posting all day on Facebook, Starbucks visits, walking neighborhood with another (far wealthier) SAHM, and aimlessly browsing Target, Whole Foods and Trader Joes until the kids needed to be picked up from school.

I just don't get how someone could be so clueless that the rest of her girlfriends are working all day (to pay for private), while she's idle, yet thinks her kids deserve a full boat of aid. It's bugs me so much. Is it entitlement or genuine cluelessness?

You worry about you. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's really not your business. But if it bothers you that much to hear about it, don't hang out around her.

If this person donates to the school, it is arguably her business--the financial funds come from other parents, not from thin air.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really not your business. But if it bothers you that much to hear about it, don't hang out around her.

If this person donates to the school, it is arguably her business--the financial funds come from other parents, not from thin air.

No, it's not. At all.

Only every check someone else's bowl to make sure they have enough.

Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're not a financial aid family but we're close with a family who is. I went to college with the mom, who constantly complains about private school's aid offer. She doesn't work and her husband isn't making big bucks. It was understandable when the youngest was a toddler, I guess, but youngest is now in 2nd grade, so there's no excuse that she can't work a part-time job. I wasn't sure how or if private schools nudge aid families that it's expected both work? Is it just written on forms or do they come out and tell you directly? Because clearly she hasn't gotten the hint.

For the record, her pre-Corona routine was spent posting all day on Facebook, Starbucks visits, walking neighborhood with another (far wealthier) SAHM, and aimlessly browsing Target, Whole Foods and Trader Joes until the kids needed to be picked up from school.

I just don't get how someone could be so clueless that the rest of her girlfriends are working all day (to pay for private), while she's idle, yet thinks her kids deserve a full boat of aid. It's bugs me so much. Is it entitlement or genuine cluelessness?

Well it's not like you work JUST for this reason right? You get other stuff out of it? Benefits, validation, money for vacations, etc.?

She probably couldn't get as good a job as yours either because of deficits in her education or skill set or simply because shes' been out of the workforce for so long. Just be happy you can.

I truly don't understand why this would bother you unless you want to be a SAHM too?

[Anonymous]

+1 We are at a k-8 and we know a few families that have SAH(MOM) and they get aid. It drives us all crazy. In one family, her kids are in middle school and high school years and this has been happening since k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're not a financial aid family but we're close with a family who is. I went to college with the mom, who constantly complains about private school's aid offer. She doesn't work and her husband isn't making big bucks. It was understandable when the youngest was a toddler, I guess, but youngest is now in 2nd grade, so there's no excuse that she can't work a part-time job. I wasn't sure how or if private schools nudge aid families that it's expected both work? Is it just written on forms or do they come out and tell you directly? Because clearly she hasn't gotten the hint.

For the record, her pre-Corona routine was spent posting all day on Facebook, Starbucks visits, walking neighborhood with another (far wealthier) SAHM, and aimlessly browsing Target, Whole Foods and Trader Joes until the kids needed to be picked up from school.

I just don't get how someone could be so clueless that the rest of her girlfriends are working all day (to pay for private), while she's idle, yet thinks her kids deserve a full boat of aid. It's bugs me so much. Is it entitlement or genuine cluelessness?

They are not receiving a full boat. Her tuition share is high for her budget it sounds like and she’s expressing it’s not equitable compare to other students household ratios. All privates do assign a minimum virtual earned SAHM value that’s added to family income data application portion.

[Anonymous]

The schools themselves may not necessarily care, but they rely in part on the results of the financial aid application. TADS seems to inquire more than SSS does (and are more frugal in their suggested aid due to the expected family contribution). The school takes the suggestion and makes a decision based on the number of families in need, their endowment, and some other factors. Is the mom active within the school community?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're not a financial aid family but we're close with a family who is. I went to college with the mom, who constantly complains about private school's aid offer. She doesn't work and her husband isn't making big bucks. It was understandable when the youngest was a toddler, I guess, but youngest is now in 2nd grade, so there's no excuse that she can't work a part-time job. I wasn't sure how or if private schools nudge aid families that it's expected both work? Is it just written on forms or do they come out and tell you directly? Because clearly she hasn't gotten the hint.

For the record, her pre-Corona routine was spent posting all day on Facebook, Starbucks visits, walking neighborhood with another (far wealthier) SAHM, and aimlessly browsing Target, Whole Foods and Trader Joes until the kids needed to be picked up from school.

I just don't get how someone could be so clueless that the rest of her girlfriends are working all day (to pay for private), while she's idle, yet thinks her kids deserve a full boat of aid. It's bugs me so much. Is it entitlement or genuine cluelessness?

No one is getting “full boat” at dc area private day schools.

+1 I'm a single parent and don't make a lot at all. I still pay $15K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really not your business. But if it bothers you that much to hear about it, don't hang out around her.

If this person donates to the school, it is arguably her business--the financial funds come from other parents, not from thin air.

She isn’t buying into a partnership with those donations. Not her business.