Would you quit your job to spare your husband from childcare?

[Anonymous]

She should have left the husband.

But on paper I can see why she didn't. She lives in California - a community property state and is the CEO of a company with 13 employees.

The husband is unemployed.

She would have been on the hook for major child support for 15 years and spousal support for at least 6 years. Not to mention half her retirement accounts and maybe even intellectual property.

Funny thing is - I bet that lazy POS husband would have been begging the courts for partial custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those saying they don’t ‘like’ this example? Why? A lot of women I know make more than their husbands and have done so consistently.

It was a bad example for the subject of the article because the woman was not in any way forced to quit her job because of childcare. The husband just didn't want to do it, and she probably could have hired a nanny if she really wanted to keep her job. She just wanted to leave her job and used the daycare situation as an excuse, which is fine, but not a good example for the article

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those saying they don’t ‘like’ this example? Why? A lot of women I know make more than their husbands and have done so consistently.

It was a bad example for the subject of the article because the woman was not in any way forced to quit her job because of childcare. The husband just didn't want to do it, and she probably could have hired a nanny if she really wanted to keep her job. She just wanted to leave her job and used the daycare situation as an excuse, which is fine, but not a good example for the article

There is something called a pandemic going on and California has had 80K+ positives.

Did you ever consider she didn't want to expose herself and her child to a virus by adding a fourth individual?

Also her husband is already a manbaby, I can see him not only refusing to take care of the toddler but also sleeping with the nanny because he's bored.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I thought that article was ridiculous. Can you imagine if a woman was unemployed and her husband quit his job because she couldn’t handle taking care of one child? It’s absurd

[Anonymous]

It sounds like her partner was ready to sell the company. The article noted that her business partner was becoming more unavailable. Maybe she didn’t want to run the company by herself or couldn’t afford to buy out her partner. There are a ton of pieces missing from this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like her partner was ready to sell the company. The article noted that her business partner was becoming more unavailable. Maybe she didn’t want to run the company by herself or couldn’t afford to buy out her partner. There are a ton of pieces missing from this story.

That's when you delegate or promote one of your 13 employees to exec VP in order to help with the load. If the husband was anything but a POS he would have have stepped up in support of his spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those saying they don’t ‘like’ this example? Why? A lot of women I know make more than their husbands and have done so consistently.

It was a bad example for the subject of the article because the woman was not in any way forced to quit her job because of childcare. The husband just didn't want to do it, and she probably could have hired a nanny if she really wanted to keep her job. She just wanted to leave her job and used the daycare situation as an excuse, which is fine, but not a good example for the article

If she’s angling for a divorce, she might be better off filling when both are unemployed... She probably wants a break to spend more time with her son. Plus this article would help her get primary custody of her son and avoid paying crazy child support to her husband. As a tech CEO, she could easily start a new company after the divorce and make up for lost time.

All things considered, this sets her up pretty nicely if she decides to divorce him.

[Anonymous]

I did it years ago because DH didn't want to stay home and do childcare and we didn't want daycare. I made much more money than DH so it was a squeeze but it worked out. If I didn't stay home we would have probably had other issues. It's tough raising kids anyway you do it.

[Anonymous]

They’re probably both very tired. So old to have a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those saying they don’t ‘like’ this example? Why? A lot of women I know make more than their husbands and have done so consistently.

It was a bad example for the subject of the article because the woman was not in any way forced to quit her job because of childcare. The husband just didn't want to do it, and she probably could have hired a nanny if she really wanted to keep her job. She just wanted to leave her job and used the daycare situation as an excuse, which is fine, but not a good example for the article

If she’s angling for a divorce, she might be better off filling when both are unemployed... She probably wants a break to spend more time with her son. Plus this article would help her get primary custody of her son and avoid paying crazy child support to her husband. As a tech CEO, she could easily start a new company after the divorce and make up for lost time.

All things considered, this sets her up pretty nicely if she decides to divorce him.

Then she’s actually spending her money on herself — living off savings means she can bake cookies with her son and enjoy his childhood instead of hustling to provide for her lazy unappreciative husband. Strategically, it’s a good power move because it sends him the message that if he’s not going to contribute, she’s not either. I just can’t get over this guy telling their son to call her by her first name to get her off the phone. What an a$$!!! All because he can’t handle taking care of ONE kid during the day?

[Anonymous]

At one point I would have. He was mentally ill and became an active alcoholic. I would never have left a 3 year old in his care under those circumstances.

(To be fair, I also would not have talked to a newspaper about it. But I wonder if there isn't more to the story here.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trying to understand this woman’s choice.

She quit her job and dissolved her successful company with 13 employees all because her husband couldn’t handle childcare for a 3-year-old.

Did I mention the husband is unemployed?

https://www.thelily.com/i-had-to-choose-being-a-mother-with-no-child-care-or-summer-camps-women-are-being-edged-out-of-the-workforce

I was surprised WaPo had a link to that article. She isn’t like any Silicon Valley CEO we know.her spouse can’t take care of one kid and she doesn’t even have an Au pair or sitter lined up when he wusses out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just... don’t understand how these women (her, people on television, acquaintances) marry men like this. My DH works full time and I work part time. It makes sense that I do the childcare when he is at work and I am not (obviously). But when he gets home, it is 50/50. I don’t “ask” him to take care of the kids, I don’t ask him to babysit, he is an adult who has the exact same knowledge and capabilities as me when it comes to child rearing. I don’t get why women put up with this.

Some women will do anything to be married. Some men will do anything to be married.

They had their one kid late, so my guess is they might have married late and were desperate to be married and start a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also thought that was a terrible example. I assume the husband has some kind of mental health issue (perhaps depression) that prevents him from holding a job or caring for a single three year old.

But I also assume they had a boatload of money saved, since she could afford to quit while he was unemployed. And I believe from the article that she was burned out and wanted to see her kid, which I understand. If I had a boatload of money, I'd quit too.

I just feel bad for her employees. And since she could afford a nanny, it's not a good example of how most people struggle right now.

If a mother refused to care for her 3 y.o. while her high-earning spouse worked, no one would make these excuses for her. They would flat out say she's a terrible parent...and absent additional information I have trouble thinking differently about this dad. He trained his 3y.o. to pull her away in the middle of work by calling her by her first name? Whatever his reasons, he's a jerk.

But this whole article is like that. The example of the woman who quit her job because her fiance didn't want the kids at day care even before they closed...okay, why didn't he care for the kids then?

Yeah, that made me vomit how passive aggressive he is: oh you’re, upset buddy, go cry and interrupt Mommy right now.

What a dipshit. Even if he has aspergers he should get it together. Yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also thought that was a terrible example. I assume the husband has some kind of mental health issue (perhaps depression) that prevents him from holding a job or caring for a single three year old.

But I also assume they had a boatload of money saved, since she could afford to quit while he was unemployed. And I believe from the article that she was burned out and wanted to see her kid, which I understand. If I had a boatload of money, I'd quit too.

I just feel bad for her employees. And since she could afford a nanny, it's not a good example of how most people struggle right now.

If a mother refused to care for her 3 y.o. while her high-earning spouse worked, no one would make these excuses for her. They would flat out say she's a terrible parent...and absent additional information I have trouble thinking differently about this dad. He trained his 3y.o. to pull her away in the middle of work by calling her by her first name? Whatever his reasons, he's a jerk.

But this whole article is like that. The example of the woman who quit her job because her fiance didn't want the kids at day care even before they closed...okay, why didn't he care for the kids then?

To be fair - I'm not entirely sure the 4 and 2 year-old are his kids. The six-week-old, probably.

It’s be just like the blogger author to not mention that.