Would you quit your job to spare your husband from childcare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her company was thriving during a pandemic. How hard would it have been for the husband to say ‘hey honey keep bringing in high six-figures, I’ve got this?’

Or to hire a nanny. What the heck.

[Anonymous]

I read that article and it made me both sad for her and mad for her. I would not quit my job. In fact we had a similar scenario at the beginning of the lockdown when dh was sent home and it was unclear if we was going to be able to do work from home. He did 3 weeks of full time childcare for a 4 year old and an under 1 year old from 8-4:30 while I still went to work every day. He was exhausted but managed and the kids were happy. They went on walks, he did laundry and made lunches and many dinners. If he were not able to work from home after he would have kept doing it until the lockdown was lifted without question. We hired our old nanny instead since he's now working full time from home but he still hangs out with them at lunch and does more hours in early morning and late night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her company was thriving during a pandemic. How hard would it have been for the husband to say ‘hey honey keep bringing in high six-figures, I’ve got this?’

Or to hire a nanny. What the heck.

Agreed. I don't ge their relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I would quit my job to spare my children from my husband's childcare. Don't say divorce because my lawyer says it's better to stay together and get 100% custody than get divorced and let him get 50% custody

Your husband’s childcare might be better.

A lot of women who say things like this tend to be the type that:

- Allow kids to not sleep (get up anytime they are crying)
- Baby kids
- control every little thing
- Don’t have a life outside of the home


You’re most likely not as good of a parent as you think and your husband knows this

sounds like one bitter DH

[Anonymous]

I had a few convos with my husband when we had toddlers where he would say it was too hard to feed them etc. And I would ask him "so if I died tomorrow you would let them starve rather than figure out how to shop, make lunch, etc.?" And he would say "no. In that case I would figure it out. " "fine. Pretend I am dead and do what you would do then"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It reads like a parody. Lots of women are being put in impossible positions right now. But the owner of a company who CHOSE to shut that company down and lay off others because her husband refused to do any parenting -- that's not societal oppression of women, it's just one really pathetic dude.

I hated her decision, but I suspect the DH has depression. He wasn’t working already. He couldn’t watch his own toddler for 12 hours a day. I think there’s a lot that is missing from the article and without that context, we don’t know if he refused to parent or was medically incapable. My XH is inpatient 1-2x a year and is low key incapable of more than a couple days of caring for a child when he’s “better”. Our remaining minor isn’t even young, but it overwhelms him.

[Anonymous]

Wtf. No. I would hire a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a few convos with my husband when we had toddlers where he would say it was too hard to feed them etc. And I would ask him "so if I died tomorrow you would let them starve rather than figure out how to shop, make lunch, etc.?" And he would say "no. In that case I would figure it out. " "fine. Pretend I am dead and do what you would do then"

I love this.

[Anonymous]

No.
She made a bad choice marrying.that guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a few convos with my husband when we had toddlers where he would say it was too hard to feed them etc. And I would ask him "so if I died tomorrow you would let them starve rather than figure out how to shop, make lunch, etc.?" And he would say "no. In that case I would figure it out. " "fine. Pretend I am dead and do what you would do then"

I love this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a few convos with my husband when we had toddlers where he would say it was too hard to feed them etc. And I would ask him "so if I died tomorrow you would let them starve rather than figure out how to shop, make lunch, etc.?" And he would say "no. In that case I would figure it out. " "fine. Pretend I am dead and do what you would do then"

I love this.

I’m steaming this and using it. It’s brilliant.

[Anonymous]

People do what you allow them to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People do what you allow them to do.

This.

[Anonymous]

I also thought that was a terrible example. I assume the husband has some kind of mental health issue (perhaps depression) that prevents him from holding a job or caring for a single three year old.

But I also assume they had a boatload of money saved, since she could afford to quit while he was unemployed. And I believe from the article that she was burned out and wanted to see her kid, which I understand. If I had a boatload of money, I'd quit too.

I just feel bad for her employees. And since she could afford a nanny, it's not a good example of how most people struggle right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a few convos with my husband when we had toddlers where he would say it was too hard to feed them etc. And I would ask him "so if I died tomorrow you would let them starve rather than figure out how to shop, make lunch, etc.?" And he would say "no. In that case I would figure it out. " "fine. Pretend I am dead and do what you would do then"

Yup I had a similar convo with DH with DS was about a baby. I think it just didn't come naturally to him so he just let me take the lead.

But he figured it out and 7 years later I'm so thankful he did