Married but living apart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on the flip side of this story. I have older kids who are launched or about to launch and my boyfriend (not husband) has his middle school age kids almost 100% of the time. I have zero interest in cohabitating and love things the way they are. My kids have a home base, I have my own space, my boyfriend can clutter his house up all he wants and his kids have a stable home. I love him and would consider marrying him but I’m not sure I have any interest in living together until his kids are in college. I sleep over there several nights a week. I think it’s the perfect arrangement.

Well, that's because he's your boyfriend. You aren't married. It's not unreasonable at all for OP to have expected to live with her husband. I wouldn't be ok with living separately and would be pissed he didn't bring it up prior to getting married.

Where was she in all of this? She has a voice and this is definitely something they both should have discussed and figured out prior to marriage. Maybe he assumed they’d just keep on like they’d been doing. If she didn’t make her wishes clear I don’t see how this is all his fault. A definite breakdown in communication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His kids are his top priority and he is protecting his assets. You are way down on his priority list.

This is so unfair. As if one can't protect his (kids') assets and have a caring relationship with another adult.

OP, if I were in your situation, I wouldn't want marriage to begin with. If this doesn't work for you, this doesn't work for you. Sadly. Good luck!