My freshman DD resents being home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you over parenting? She’s an adult, and used to making her own choices now.

Really? Adults support themselves and do not move "home" with mommy and daddy.

She is not emotionally an adult yet. She is a big kid who has just had her first taste of independence in college, and loved it, of course. Who wouldn't? And now she resents having to give it up for the greater good.

How do you think 18 and 19 year olds who got drafted into WW2 felt?

I was in the military at 18. I was an adult, and I’d be resentful to be forced home and over parented.

Cut the cord.

Np. What do you mean by cut the cord? You mean move out during a worldwide pandemic ? Are you for real? This is not the time and isnt the advice op was looking for. Your advice could kill her dd. So stuff it.

I mean stop parenting an adult, even when they are living in your house. Respect them and their space as another adult, not as a child. If your sister had to move in with you, would you treat her the same as you treat your adult children?

My sister is different than evan an adult child. I have teens and young adult and right now we respect each other but they listen to me and expect some guidance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you over parenting? She’s an adult, and used to making her own choices now.

Really? Adults support themselves and do not move "home" with mommy and daddy.

She is not emotionally an adult yet. She is a big kid who has just had her first taste of independence in college, and loved it, of course. Who wouldn't? And now she resents having to give it up for the greater good.

How do you think 18 and 19 year olds who got drafted into WW2 felt?

I was in the military at 18. I was an adult, and I’d be resentful to be forced home and over parented.

Cut the cord.

And in the military, no one was telling you what do?

+1000 It's not exactly the place you go when you're tired of someone bossing you around and controlling your every move.

[Anonymous]

Tonight, my DD made dinner and then played Scrabble with me (three games). It is the first time, she has every done this. I usually play with my sibling when she's in town. Yesterday was her 21st birthday. Today before dinner, she attended her live online class.

I have watched her go from moody, disinterested into someone who is grateful to be alive. She has immersed herself into family life because, honestly, there's no place to go. She had a Zoom birthday party last night and loved every minute of it.

For my college kid, being 'forced' to stay indoors and make the best of it has been good as she is more focused, relaxed, and appreciative. Along with The Bachelor reruns and following the COVID updates, she's still looking forward to returning to college for the start of senior yea. But for now, I am enjoying her immensely, much more than I did when she first came home. This maturation is most welcomed, and I know she will be just fine when she eventually returns to school.

[Anonymous]

We are all mourning our loss of normalcy. My junior has been dealing with it relatively well but lost it last night! I think the reality of everything got overwhelming. She talked about what a great semester she was having. Asked about the fall . Will we go back? All her internship leads dried up and what will I do this summer? It's a scary time. For us all! So OP... Hug your daughter and know that you are not alone!

[Anonymous]

OP college is the greatest experience of life for many people. She’s suffered a loss. Help her to understand that many are in the same position. Let her reach out to friends here or by Skype ZPOM etc. it’s very hard. Acknowledge that for her. I have 2 at home myself who came back from glorious aboard trips.