Abandoning teenaged kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend got divorced 2 years ago her kids are teenagers. All have chosen to live with their father because he lets them drink alcohol and has no rules. She hasn’t seen her children in over a year. I wouldn’t blame her 1 bit for leaving. Her kids abandoned her.

Yes. As the OP described her, I don't see a selfish woman who abandoned her children. I see a heartbroken mother trying to get over her pain by starting an entirely new life.

+1

DH may be a manipulative A-hole (cap.) and this woman is just trying to get through what he did to her, on day at a time. You sur are a shitstirrer, OP. May this come back and bite you, ten fold. You truly do NOT know someone until you live with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend got divorced 2 years ago her kids are teenagers. All have chosen to live with their father because he lets them drink alcohol and has no rules. She hasn’t seen her children in over a year. I wouldn’t blame her 1 bit for leaving. Her kids abandoned her.

Yes. As the OP described her, I don't see a selfish woman who abandoned her children. I see a heartbroken mother trying to get over her pain by starting an entirely new life.

+1

DH may be a manipulative A-hole (cap.) and this woman is just trying to get through what he did to her, on day at a time. You sur are a shitstirrer, OP. May this come back and bite you, ten fold. You truly do NOT know someone until you live with them.

OP here. Not a sh*t stirrer at all. I just happened to meet a woman from the DC area who told me almost right away and very matter of factly that her two kids in high school wanted to live with their father so she agreed and packed up and moved to Central America with no definite plan when to see her kids again. She didn't have a bad word to say about the ex so I find it pretty interesting that so many posters are so quick to pin her decision on him. She didn't get divorced yesterday -- she gave up the kids yesterday. And she's not exactly hiding this her situation or is in witness protection -- she told me, a perfect stranger, what she's doing here (she's renting a very nice apartment), where she's from in the DC area, even where her kids go to high school -- so I'm not "outing" her either.

I remain convinced that posters are giving her a pass because she's a woman.

[Anonymous]

She’s living her best life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend got divorced 2 years ago her kids are teenagers. All have chosen to live with their father because he lets them drink alcohol and has no rules. She hasn’t seen her children in over a year. I wouldn’t blame her 1 bit for leaving. Her kids abandoned her.

Yes. As the OP described her, I don't see a selfish woman who abandoned her children. I see a heartbroken mother trying to get over her pain by starting an entirely new life.

+1

DH may be a manipulative A-hole (cap.) and this woman is just trying to get through what he did to her, on day at a time. You sur are a shitstirrer, OP. May this come back and bite you, ten fold. You truly do NOT know someone until you live with them.

OP here. Not a sh*t stirrer at all. I just happened to meet a woman from the DC area who told me almost right away and very matter of factly that her two kids in high school wanted to live with their father so she agreed and packed up and moved to Central America with no definite plan when to see her kids again. She didn't have a bad word to say about the ex so I find it pretty interesting that so many posters are so quick to pin her decision on him. She didn't get divorced yesterday -- she gave up the kids yesterday. And she's not exactly hiding this her situation or is in witness protection -- she told me, a perfect stranger, what she's doing here (she's renting a very nice apartment), where she's from in the DC area, even where her kids go to high school -- so I'm not "outing" her either.

I remain convinced that posters are giving her a pass because she's a woman.

What exactly is the issue with this OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is that abandonment? The kids are in their father's custody. Kids that age are able to choose which parent to live with. Is she supposed to keep her home as a shrine to them? What is the problem with her traveling? What is YOUR problem?

NP. Of course it’s abandonment. The woman moved away from her kids “to start a new life.” Now maybe she flies back and sees them regularly, but it doesn’t sound like it. It sounds like she’s upset they chose to live with her ex and she got tired of all the emotional baggage so she ran away. I don’t blame her for wanting a good life but she did move far away from her kids. Sad.

My ex moved halfway across the country and hasn’t seen our DD in four years. I doubt any court would charge him with abandonment.

Not legal abandonment. Emotional abandonment.

[Anonymous]

OP did this thread make you feel smug and superior? You are terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is that abandonment? The kids are in their father's custody. Kids that age are able to choose which parent to live with. Is she supposed to keep her home as a shrine to them? What is the problem with her traveling? What is YOUR problem?

NP. Of course it’s abandonment. The woman moved away from her kids “to start a new life.” Now maybe she flies back and sees them regularly, but it doesn’t sound like it. It sounds like she’s upset they chose to live with her ex and she got tired of all the emotional baggage so she ran away. I don’t blame her for wanting a good life but she did move far away from her kids. Sad.

My ex moved halfway across the country and hasn’t seen our DD in four years. I doubt any court would charge him with abandonment.

Not legal abandonment. Emotional abandonment.

Exactly. I never said she legally abandoned them and that's not at all what I meant. And a question to the poster who moved halfway across the country and hasn't seen your DD in four years: what grade do you give him as a parent as a result?

[Anonymous]

No OP, we'd be giving dad the pass too if he had custody and the kids decided to go live with mom instead.

Of course he would want to go out and have fun, maybe move somewhere else, since the kids have let him know he's not needed at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No OP, we'd be giving dad the pass too if he had custody and the kids decided to go live with mom instead.

Of course he would want to go out and have fun, maybe move somewhere else, since the kids have let him know he's not needed at this point.

sure you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend got divorced 2 years ago her kids are teenagers. All have chosen to live with their father because he lets them drink alcohol and has no rules. She hasn’t seen her children in over a year. I wouldn’t blame her 1 bit for leaving. Her kids abandoned her.

OP here again. Considering that I've seen her at the same bar every night having the time of her life I find it hard to believe she was cracking the whip at home and drove the kids into the arms of a lawless father . . .

Or maybe she is at the same bar every day because she is sad and lonely and regrets her decision. She gets drunk and then cries in her nice apartment that she just rented while looking at pics of her kids who hate her. Who know? Is it the choice I would make? Absolutely not. Do I judge her? Not enough info. Is this sad? Yes

[Anonymous]

If my kids pulled this crap on me, I might just take off too.

Team Mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No OP, we'd be giving dad the pass too if he had custody and the kids decided to go live with mom instead.

Of course he would want to go out and have fun, maybe move somewhere else, since the kids have let him know he's not needed at this point.

sure you are

Now I'm starting to think that OP is either the dad, who is stuck with teenage kids who thought he would be a pushover. Or, dad who has moved away who people are accusing of abandoning his kids.

Otherwise no one would be so upset about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Abandoning your kids at age will F them up. This is something so primal to want to be loved by your parents.

This is true but I actually think the woman OP is judging here is fine. And I say this as someone raised by a parent that was abandoned by their own parents at 4 years old. We have no relationship since she has attachment disorders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend got divorced 2 years ago her kids are teenagers. All have chosen to live with their father because he lets them drink alcohol and has no rules. She hasn’t seen her children in over a year. I wouldn’t blame her 1 bit for leaving. Her kids abandoned her.

Yes. As the OP described her, I don't see a selfish woman who abandoned her children. I see a heartbroken mother trying to get over her pain by starting an entirely new life.

+1

DH may be a manipulative A-hole (cap.) and this woman is just trying to get through what he did to her, on day at a time. You sur are a shitstirrer, OP. May this come back and bite you, ten fold. You truly do NOT know someone until you live with them.

OP here. Not a sh*t stirrer at all. I just happened to meet a woman from the DC area who told me almost right away and very matter of factly that her two kids in high school wanted to live with their father so she agreed and packed up and moved to Central America with no definite plan when to see her kids again. She didn't have a bad word to say about the ex so I find it pretty interesting that so many posters are so quick to pin her decision on him. She didn't get divorced yesterday -- she gave up the kids yesterday. And she's not exactly hiding this her situation or is in witness protection -- she told me, a perfect stranger, what she's doing here (she's renting a very nice apartment), where she's from in the DC area, even where her kids go to high school -- so I'm not "outing" her either.

I remain convinced that posters are giving her a pass because she's a woman. [b]

No, but it may seem that way to you because we're so put off by your bizzare behavior. Who spends their vacation running to an anonymous forum to gossip about a stranger like this??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You can judge all you want in your head, but I think it's vile to post on DCUM about this woman from Bethesda, hoping it will have repercussions for her.

I agree with this.

OP, if you have any grace or sense at all you would ask Jeff to remove this.