DH didn’t lift a finger today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hanging the piñata is way more normal than holding it. Wtf.

Run a google search to understand what is meant. People from cultures with lots of piñatas would know. It’s easier to throw a rope over a high branch and stand on the other side of a tree, than to tie it to a branch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holding a piñata? While people hit it?

How many kids do you have?

Also my first thought! Regardless of anything else, holding a pinata is dangerous!

[Anonymous]

“ A rope is strung through the loop on the top of the piñata and two adults hold the ends of the ropes.“

OP - I guess I can’t find any advice here bc people are too busy critiquing my piñata skills.

DH was asked over a month ago what he wanted to do for DD’s (7) party. Also given access to the e-invitation so he could add whoever he wanted. Radio silence. Has hatred of Pump It Up-style parties. Always suggests just having it at home. Morning of asked to invite 2 more neighbors (I said no, their kids were too young and we didn’t have enough stuff for them).

I think the poster who said my DH is passive aggressive is right.

[Anonymous]

Just an idea - before you have your next party, could you sit down with your husband a few days prior to the event, and go over the schedule? That way he could understand that by him getting the kids out of the house at lunchtime, you could get major party prep done. And you could discuss the piñata hanging issue prior to the party. ?

[Anonymous]

OP, the piñata is a metaphor. We all think you are crazy to have micromanaged your husband vis a vis the piñata.

Your response was to say why your way with the piñata is best.

We can argue back and forth which way is best. But your DH was doing it the way he thought to do it, and you micromanaged him. His way was good enough. He didn't want to have the party, and your counterpoint was to micromanage his piñata hanging. That sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the piñata is a metaphor. We all think you are crazy to have micromanaged your husband vis a vis the piñata.

Your response was to say why your way with the piñata is best.

We can argue back and forth which way is best. But your DH was doing it the way he thought to do it, and you micromanaged him. His way was good enough. He didn't want to have the party, and your counterpoint was to micromanage his piñata hanging. That sucks.

His method of piñata hanging failed!! He ended up leaving it to random guests!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm looking for his post where he complains that his wife tried to encourage party guests to beat him to death like he is a pinata, by making him 'hold the rope'.

I love you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once one person starts saying “I do all the work and she/he does nothing” that marriage is over. Most selfish statement one can make in a marriage.

NP but sure, the person sitting on their ass being unhelpful is selfless and just, let me guess, tired and/or misunderstood.

I know men who think working is all they need to do. Some magical fairy handles everything else.

Yeah. Pretty much. I work my ass off to make close to 1MM, DW stays home to exercise and do “projects” while the kids are at school. You’re right, I’m not running errands all weekend. And I’m certainly not going to play the assistant getting told what to do all Saturday to facilitate a “successful party” for a toddler.

So why do you put up with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm looking for his post where he complains that his wife tried to encourage party guests to beat him to death like he is a pinata, by making him 'hold the rope'.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaa

Yeah, you don't hold a piñata. You have to hang it from something like a tree or a jerry rigged ladder or something.

OP, you're micromanaging. You can ask your husband to get lunch for the kids once, then redirect the kids to him, or ask him neutrally what he thinks the kids should eat before the party, then let him decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough with these posts. You knew who you married. Next time hire some people to help for the day.

You beat me to it! My goodness. These people knew who they were marrying! They ignored the nice guys who would be doing the helping because of complicated emotional reasons. I get it. It’s ok. But hold the complaints!

You two are clueless. A man (or woman) can be a helpful, supportive partner who does 50% of the work pre-kids, but then can’t deal with the relentless responsibilities and selflessness required by parenting. I married one of these men. He was absolutely unselfish and a super involved, hands-on father the first few years he was a parent, but by the time our kids were in mid-elementary school and he was in his forties, his midlife crisis started and he was just over being a family man. No one saw this coming. He’s like a totally different person now, to the point that if he hadn’t had an MRI, I would suspect something like a brain tumor. He’s barely around our kids any more.

It’s bullsh!t for you to place any blame on the person who did nothing wrong today.

NP. And just curious, why do women stay with men like this?

They don’t. That’s why the divorce rate is so high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - of course I meant hold the piñata using a rope (with another person). The tree was off to the side of the yard and the piñata was hung on a wire and 2 adults held the ends. I wanted it like that because we had some little kids who need it lower and some older kids who need it higher. Party guests did it so it’s not that I didn’t have help. Party guests also were helping to clean up and supervise kids and other things. So no I didn’t need to hire help. I’m just annoyed that our guests were doing things I thought we as hosts should be doing (and I was) but DH just acted like a guest.

What kind of terrible host expects guests to help with their party after they’ve failed to micromanage DH? This is your party, why couldn’t you have hired someone after you realized your husband wasn’t going to help? This can’t be the first time he’s done this. You sound completely disorganized and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once one person starts saying “I do all the work and she/he does nothing” that marriage is over. Most selfish statement one can make in a marriage.

NP but sure, the person sitting on their ass being unhelpful is selfless and just, let me guess, tired and/or misunderstood.

I know men who think working is all they need to do. Some magical fairy handles everything else.

Yeah. Pretty much. I work my ass off to make close to 1MM, DW stays home to exercise and do “projects” while the kids are at school. You’re right, I’m not running errands all weekend. And I’m certainly not going to play the assistant getting told what to do all Saturday to facilitate a “successful party” for a toddler.

DP. What about the couples where DW works too? DWs still overwhelmingly take on childcare and housework even when their jobs are demanding. That doesn't seem to be your situation, but it may be OPs (it's certainly not uncommon today).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a nice party at our house for our daughter’s birthday. Asked DH to take the kids out for lunch so I could get the house ready. He went out and picked up lunch for himself, only bringing our youngest after I made him. Proceeded to eat in the middle of everything as I was getting ready. Party is a success, kids and parents eating, drinking and having a good time. I ask DH to get the piñata and hold it - he proceeds to try to hang it from a tree and I tell him not to. He gives up and I end up asking 2 other parents to hold it instead. I keep the food going. I clean up the party. DH just talks and invites a friend over. I ask him to put the kids to bed afterward because I’m exhausted. It takes me asking multiple times and getting really angry before he does it.

What am I doing wrong? Can our marriage be saved?

Sounds like my wife, who is the laziest thing I've ever had any sort of relationship with.

Weekend:
- sleeps until 10-10:30
- languidly drinks coffee and flips through phone until 12-1
- leaves coffee mug in sink
- does some sort of exercise video (not lazy there!)
- makes herself lunch, leaving dishes in sink and counter grubby
- naps

It would *never* occur to her to tidy up the house, much less pick up after herself. And it would never occur to her that, as a parent, maybe she should do things with our kids.

What good is she? Good sex? Brings home good money at least??

No and no.

Truthfully? I don't want my kids to have a broken home and for me to see less of them. That's pretty much it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had a nice party at our house for our daughter’s birthday. Asked DH to take the kids out for lunch so I could get the house ready. He went out and picked up lunch for himself, only bringing our youngest after I made him. Proceeded to eat in the middle of everything as I was getting ready. Party is a success, kids and parents eating, drinking and having a good time. I ask DH to get the piñata and hold it - he proceeds to try to hang it from a tree and I tell him not to. He gives up and I end up asking 2 other parents to hold it instead. I keep the food going. I clean up the party. DH just talks and invites a friend over. I ask him to put the kids to bed afterward because I’m exhausted. It takes me asking multiple times and getting really angry before he does it.

What am I doing wrong? Can our marriage be saved?

Sounds like my wife, who is the laziest thing I've ever had any sort of relationship with.

Weekend:
- sleeps until 10-10:30
- languidly drinks coffee and flips through phone until 12-1
- leaves coffee mug in sink
- does some sort of exercise video (not lazy there!)
- makes herself lunch, leaving dishes in sink and counter grubby
- naps

It would *never* occur to her to tidy up the house, much less pick up after herself. And it would never occur to her that, as a parent, maybe she should do things with our kids.

What good is she? Good sex? Brings home good money at least??

No and no.

Truthfully? I don't want my kids to have a broken home and for me to see less of them. That's pretty much it.

Either she was always like that and you went for it for whatever reason or you were a bad judge of character and it's too late now.