If you choose never to marry again please come in.

[Anonymous]

Recently divorced, 52 and female with kids in college. WOO HOO! I am so happy and will never marry again.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others. I don’t mind sex and romance but I want independence and control more. I decide how messy or neat my house is, when to have sex, how much to spend, when to have people over. Don’t want to be a maid for a demanding spoiled man baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get divorced if you plan to marry again. You get divorced if the relationship is irreparably broken, after trying to make it work. Those two things are separate.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of my divorced friends say that will never marry again and then suddenly they meet a wonderful man and they change their mind. I think most people would like a partner in life but after a divorce it is very easy to say never again and for a good reason. And yes, some people are much better off alone.

Awww. I'm divorced and engaged. I agree with this post. After abuse, or addiction, or dealing with someone's mental illness, it's hard to imagine you can trust again. And then it happens, after a lot of hard work.

There are some serious considerations after divorce, like losing support payments if you remarry, or forcing already-hurt children into a blended family (we waited until all kids are in college). It's a lot more complicated than when we were baby twenty-soemthings the first time around re: marriage, and the stakes seemed so low.

One of my most hardened divorced friends just melted about five years ago when she met someone wonderful. They have been happily married for four years now, and he his helping her raise her kids.

But I equally respect all sorts of relationships including long-term partnerships without marriage. I do think that society respects these less - I've been mortified meeting my fiancee at hotels when they cross-examine me about who I am when I arrive to get the room key, etc. We could never share health insurance, I guess, without living together. It's weird to be the only non-spouse at company Christmas parties. I honestly don't feel comfortable sometimes.

We need to change this as a society. Marriage is not for everyone, at all times in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

+1. Unless there is alcoholism/addiction or abuse, it’s been proven better for the children. Plus divorce and living separately takes money away from the children.

I have absolutely not intention or desire to marry again (widowed). I love being single!

Please cite the study.

Common sense doesn't require citations.

Except it’s “proven.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of my divorced friends say that will never marry again and then suddenly they meet a wonderful man and they change their mind. I think most people would like a partner in life but after a divorce it is very easy to say never again and for a good reason. And yes, some people are much better off alone.

Awww. I'm divorced and engaged. I agree with this post. After abuse, or addiction, or dealing with someone's mental illness, it's hard to imagine you can trust again. And then it happens, after a lot of hard work.

There are some serious considerations after divorce, like losing support payments if you remarry, or forcing already-hurt children into a blended family (we waited until all kids are in college). It's a lot more complicated than when we were baby twenty-soemthings the first time around re: marriage, and the stakes seemed so low.

One of my most hardened divorced friends just melted about five years ago when she met someone wonderful. They have been happily married for four years now, and he his helping her raise her kids.

But I equally respect all sorts of relationships including long-term partnerships without marriage. I do think that society respects these less - I've been mortified meeting my fiancee at hotels when they cross-examine me about who I am when I arrive to get the room key, etc. We could never share health insurance, I guess, without living together. It's weird to be the only non-spouse at company Christmas parties. I honestly don't feel comfortable sometimes.

We need to change this as a society. Marriage is not for everyone, at all times in their lives.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

Sure. Show them how to stay in a dead relationship.

[Anonymous]

MIL was widowed young, and had no intention of losing the financial benefits from her dead spouse. That, and FIL was a curmudgeon from an early age in the marriage, so she was not interested in having that again. All he wanted was to be on "business travel" anyway, so what was the point. When he died, she traveled all over the world, into her old age, as very obvious payback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

+1. Unless there is alcoholism/addiction or abuse, it’s been proven better for the children. Plus divorce and living separately takes money away from the children.

I have absolutely not intention or desire to marry again (widowed). I love being single!

Please cite the study.

The longitudinal Wasserstein studies out of Marin County is what the poster is probably referring to. Fascinating. There are at least two books I’ve read of hers and there may be a third. Follows families over decades.

Unexpected legacy of divorce on amazon

It’s not like there’s just one study. There is a ton of research showing that divorce causes a lot of trauma for kids. I mean, just google it.

[Anonymous]

I've raised one man-child for 18 years. I don't want to start over - never marrying again.
In fact, turning into a lesbian sounds pretty good right now,.

[Anonymous]

I got married very young (20) divorced by 26 and I have never remarried.

Had some long term relationships after but I pick badly.

So have decided to swear of marriage forever.

As I tell my adopted child, I am not good at marriage or love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

+1. Unless there is alcoholism/addiction or abuse, it’s been proven better for the children. Plus divorce and living separately takes money away from the children.

I have absolutely not intention or desire to marry again (widowed). I love being single!

Please cite the study.

The longitudinal Wasserstein studies out of Marin County is what the poster is probably referring to. Fascinating. There are at least two books I’ve read of hers and there may be a third. Follows families over decades.

Unexpected legacy of divorce on amazon

It’s not like there’s just one study. There is a ton of research showing that divorce causes a lot of trauma for kids. I mean, just google it.

I wish there would be a study on the effect of dysfunctional parents staying together. That scarred me for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

+1. Unless there is alcoholism/addiction or abuse, it’s been proven better for the children. Plus divorce and living separately takes money away from the children.

I have absolutely not intention or desire to marry again (widowed). I love being single!

Please cite the study.

The longitudinal Wasserstein studies out of Marin County is what the poster is probably referring to. Fascinating. There are at least two books I’ve read of hers and there may be a third. Follows families over decades.

Unexpected legacy of divorce on amazon

It’s not like there’s just one study. There is a ton of research showing that divorce causes a lot of trauma for kids. I mean, just google it.

Wallerstein, not Wasserstein!

Did you really read two books?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

+1. Unless there is alcoholism/addiction or abuse, it’s been proven better for the children. Plus divorce and living separately takes money away from the children.

I have absolutely not intention or desire to marry again (widowed). I love being single!

Please cite the study.

The longitudinal Wasserstein studies out of Marin County is what the poster is probably referring to. Fascinating. There are at least two books I’ve read of hers and there may be a third. Follows families over decades.

Unexpected legacy of divorce on amazon

+1 Amen. Divorce would have better than the horrible marriage I witnessed. So bad I asked my parents to divorce. Sadly, they did not. I do not have a good relationship with either of them since I turned 18.

It’s not like there’s just one study. There is a ton of research showing that divorce causes a lot of trauma for kids. I mean, just google it.

I wish there would be a study on the effect of dysfunctional parents staying together. That scarred me for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing.

Sure. Show them how to stay in a dead relationship.

+1

Children are very perceptive. You're not fooling anyone.