If you choose never to marry again please come in.
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Anonymous
| DH and I have a dead marriage with no hope of revival. I’m pondering my next steps and am thinking that I never want to marry again. Since I never want to marry again I’m considering staying with DH for several more years to make things simpler for the kids. If I wanted to possibly re-marry I think I’d get out now. I’d like to hear from those who have decided never to re-marry. Did this factor in to your divorce/separation decisions? Are you happy? I’m 41 with two elementary age boys. |
Anonymous
| Stay for your children. You’re doing the right thing. |
Anonymous
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I am 43 with 1 child. I wanted to stay initially, but H made it intolerable and eventually moved out himself. I am now thankful for it, otherwise it would have been a drag; I was always angry or annoyed or something...
luckily stbx doesn’t want 50% custody, he visits every Saturday or kid goes to his house on weekends, so minimal disruption. But what also was factored in in our case was stbx’s not so good influence. Now he is still present in DC’s life but not to the extent where it is detrimental. In exchange, I don’t push for him to pay the full amount of CS. I know that our situation is not very typical, though. And yes, I am not planning to ever remarry. |
Anonymous
| I am never marrying again. I am getting a divorce. I do not want to remarry, but I would like to have a relationship with another person at some point and I don't want to regret the rest of my life. I have regretted the marriage since day 1. I almost did not do it. I wish I hadn't. I can't keep doing this. Contempt and bitterness is just too much over the course of many years. I want to have an honest life. It's dead. Over. I do not want my kids to think it is okay to have a marriage like this. If it is civil, divorce is not that bad. There are far worse things kids can go through (I know from firsthand experience). My kids' childhood--even with a divorce--will be far better than mine ever was. I also want to be financially separate again. In laws are not a plus. Happy to be free of that, too. |
Anonymous
| I don’t ever want to marry again but getting divorced at 40 was the best thing for me. I’m now 42 and I am actually enjoying life. My kids are happy and I’ve kept a good relationship with their dad. I am so so so glad that I didn’t stay in an unhappy marriage any longer than I did. I deserve to be happy. |
Anonymous
| You don’t get divorced if you plan to marry again. You get divorced if the relationship is irreparably broken, after trying to make it work. Those two things are separate. |
Anonymous
| My mother got divorced at 35 and basically said that she was not good at romantic relationships and didn't want that anymore in her life. It was one of her better judgement calls. |
Anonymous
+1. Unless there is alcoholism/addiction or abuse, it’s been proven better for the children. Plus divorce and living separately takes money away from the children. I have absolutely not intention or desire to marry again (widowed). I love being single! |
Anonymous
Please cite the study. |
Anonymous
| Just give him the hall pass, that way he won’t need to sneak around and pretend not to be, making things easier for both of you. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for the responses. For those who divorced, do you find life easier or harder post divorce? |
Anonymous
| . Have you noticed that a lot of married women will say they will never marry again? Why? Because they are sick and tired of taking care of a grown man! Who gets remarried faster after their spouse dies? Men! Because they just can’t take care of themselves and need companionship. Women on the other hand blossom after their spouse dies. The term, Merry Widow, didn’t just come out of nowhere. |
Anonymous
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I stayed for the children.
But I decided when my youngest was in 8th. I gave my H the option to leave if he wanted. We stayed together, respectfully. The children knew since they were a bit older. My youngest is going to college this Fall and I am house hunting with my H for him. You do you and don’t let others dictate what is right and wrong. |
Anonymous
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I divorced and didn't feel like getting married again when new man came around. Still not married and the best decision ever. I didn't care for all the paperwork that came with marriage/divorce. There were also stories about not being able to leave marriage easily -"abandoning marriage". Sounds like prison.
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Anonymous
| Most of my divorced friends say that will never marry again and then suddenly they meet a wonderful man and they change their mind. I think most people would like a partner in life but after a divorce it is very easy to say never again and for a good reason. And yes, some people are much better off alone. |