Anyone else resisting frozen and other princess stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh geez. Today’s princess moves have great messages. And the princesses also wear pretty, frilly dresses. Big deal.

Plus 1

It is what many little girls like to do (including mine!) She likes ninjas, too. Just “let it go!@

[Anonymous]

What if your child was a boy who liked princess dresses? Would you tell him he couldn't dress up like a princess or watch a princess movie?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Frozen is great. The princesses save each other and everyone else.

No damsels in distress being rescued by a man.

Anna is rescued by a man.

No, Anna teams up with a man and they get a job done together. They work together, rely on each other, and help each other. You know, like partners do in real life?

He saves her at the dam.

I mean, technically yes, in that he pulls her out of the way of a giant's foot. But it lasts about half a second and is literally immediately followed by him saying "I'm here. What do you need?" And he helps her get to the dam so that SHE can save the day.

Right.

As I said.

He saves her at the dam.

That doesn’t not take away from her other feats. Why have you been so loathe to admit it?

You said she was a "damsel in distress." You want to parse and mince words? We'll start there.

I didn’t say that.

[Anonymous]

OP - haha, you are me 6 years ago. I even managed to take my 2yo dd to Disney World without her catching on to princesses, only Mickey and Winnie the Pooh. No way was my daughter going to turn into a pink glittery Disney Princess girl.

Until her 4th birthday party and a guest brought her two small Anna and Elsa dolls. I was actually diehard enough that I considered putting them away where she would forget about them, except that she literally didn't put them down for like a week - she even clutched them during naps. She LOVED them and had not yet seen a single princess movie.

She saved up her allowance (that was the year we started because that was the year she asked to buy stuff) for 8 weeks to buy a $6 rapunzel addition to her tiny collection. She asked every few days if she had enough money yet and did. not. forget. that she wanted that next princess doll.

Yada yada yada, between me chilling out, indulgent grandparents, friends who knew her well, etc. she had all of the princesses and all of the costumes and all of the movies and lived and breathed them in constant play time, usually making her own stories up to go with them. We went back to Disney World and she ate breakfast with Cinderella and dinner with Belle and the beast.

And you know what, it all turned out fine. She is her own person, and she is a great kid. She's outgrown the princess phase but remembers it fondly and has plenty of friends who love her despite them never having cared about the princesses one way or another. She also loves all the rebel girl books and is a hard worker and generous friend and cousin to little ones.

Now a middle schooler, pink is still her favorite color, and she still likes glitter and bling. Last year she asked to see both the RGB and On the Basis of Sex when they were in theaters, and a couple of weeks ago she asked to see Frozen II and said she liked it even more than the first one.

Don't worry, OP. The dark side of Disney Princesses doesn't need to be all bad

[Anonymous]

We aren't into Disney but the princess phase lasted about a year and then was gone. Now we are into cats, rainbows, and unicorns. I don't really know where these interests come from but we just go with the flow. It is only a small part of her as a person and every few no the it is something new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frozen is great. The princesses save each other and everyone else.

No damsels in distress being rescued by a man.

Yes, as far as Disney Princess movies go, this one is actually one of the better ones.

[Anonymous]

My formerly Elsa-loving daughter now wants to be Megan Rapinoe when she grows up.

Let it go.

[Anonymous]

The first frozen came out when my dd was 5. She was all in. Now she’s 11 and refuses to wear dresses and is a fierce athlete. Let her be into what she wants.

[Anonymous]

With our first, we were naive and very "NO TV until X age, NO princesses, blah blah blah" and then quickly wised up.

We had to change because it started causing issues with her making friends even as young as 3! Her friends had clothes/bags/toys with the characters and when she'd ask them who that was, she got made fun of. I know it's a dumb reason to give in, but it made her sad, and her evaluations from preschool always contained things like "spends too much time in solo play" etc.

Kids stopped wanting to play with her because she didn't know the "right" way to play Cinderella or Beauty & the Beast, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were you. Just hold your nose and give in. For us, the princess phase lasted 3-5--during that time, every Halloween costume was a princess.

Around 6 she started getting more sporty, and before her 7th bday, she started refusing to wear skirts and dresses in favor of athleisure. Halloween costumes became superheroes, etc. Still sticking to this at 8; she had a sort of goth vampire costume this year.

+1 All this except she was a vampire cat for Halloween. It seems like 4/5 is the most gendered phase of childhood and kids are really the enforcers of gender standards. I didn't like it, but as a parent I just kept sharing the message that it's fine to wear what you want to wear but all kids can wear what they want and play with what they want whether they are a boy or a girl and it's rude to say otherwise. Most kids lighten up by 6 or 7.

PP here, same. I would sort of sneakily occasionally mention things like, you know, some boys play with dolls, too, or, if she asked me who my favorite princess was, I'd say Leia, or mention that I like the ones that can save themselves, or that I'm not sure who's my fave since I never really played with princesses/dolls etc. (I grew up playing w/my brothers' Transformers). I also occasionally read her The Paper Bag Princess.

She wasn't gung ho to see Frozen 2, but she's actually been singing and playing the soundtrack a lot since then. So, it's all fine, and good to be a little flexible, even if like me, OP doesn't really like the princess stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why? Do you think that princesses or girly girls are "less than" other characters?

Because more often than not, they are made out to be "less than" in qualities. There are plenty of things not so right with them, it's not rocket science, it's a simple question that OP asked. of course, they are getting better at including diversity - in terms of race and qualities. Otherwise, most of the princesses are white and thin. And most of the time is spent in singing, looking for a prince and dressing up. And then there is the consumerism side of it and how they are marketed for girls. Most of them are really soft and pretty and not strong and intelligent. And of course, by the virtue of being a princess, they are backed by the wealth, power and if nothing else, then a fairy got mother.

I don't fight it with my kid, but I don't encourage it either. No Elsa doll or a Frozen-themed birthday party for her. But I don't judge other parents who do, because every kid perceives these things differently and if it makes life easier for parents then so be it. But I am sure there are plenty of parents who aren't on the princess boat.

[Anonymous]

I was at a competitive swim meet last week with many of the fastest young swimmers in our area and beyond. Just before the meet started, Let it Go played over the loudspeakers. The entire deck full of kids sang the song (which they knew by heart because they were the princess lovers of 6 years ago), at the top of their voices.

Moral of the story- today’s princess loving girly girls are tomorrow’s competitive athletes, scholars, feminists, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yes I encourage Elsa over Ariel. But at the end of the day, she just likes them because they are A Thing that most little girls like.

I don't go over the top with it, but we have a few knock off costume dresses, some Elsa pajamas and a few dolls, all that she's gotten as gifts. It hasn't been a full blown obsession, but she does like it. She's seen a bunch of the movies, but can't follow the plots at all.

I have started to talk to her about how Anna is the real hero of Frozen and how Ariel makes terrible decisions. She's 5 now.

[Anonymous]

Ha, this was me about six years ago and we're so beyond it now, I just have to laugh that I even thought this an issue. Like many, my DD had her princess stage around ages 3-4, then lost interest, then wouldn't be caught in dead in anything pink or princessy, now just kind of neutral on it. It hasn't defined her. She's a sweet, smart, mature 9 yo. She likes ballet (though not the pink/tutu part), science, creative writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've avoided it but DD (4) is still interested in it and preschool with other kids has basically undid our attempts to keep her away from "princesses."

On a side note though, I find Dora far more annoying than Frozen... we avoid that show, too.

+1000