Why do ppl wait to rsvp to birthday invitations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they want to ask their kid if they want to go

Because they have to talk to their spouse, look at their calendar, figure out which parent will take kid A to the party and which will take kid B to the soccer game

They need to remember what weekend grandma said she would show up.

They are on their mobile and want to wait until they are at their desktop so they can add it to their google calendar

They can't remember who your kid is and need to look at the class photo

They need to carpool with another family and need to see who is going first

This. There can be lots to coordinate

Exactly and frankly, your child's birthday party is not my top priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sports tournaments don’t post schedule until Wednesday.

Not these kids. These are 3-4 year olds.

Unless none of the children have siblings, “not these kids” is oversimplifying the situation. If your party is not a drop off party, then one parent needs to be free, while the other parent gets siblings to the day’s games, practices, or parties for their friends too.. If you need an answer by a certain date then just say “RSVP by date”, until that date, relax, and stop the daily stalking of the invitation-viewing activity.

I am saying this from a place of trying to be helpful. I used to think like you, OP, but have learned to let go a little about stuff and life is more enjoyable.

I have 3 kids. Youngest just started preschool. Older kids are in elementary and very busy. I have declined several events for the youngest due to older kids activities. Poor third child.

Right, but if there’s a chance my youngest child can make it to the party, I will try my best to get her there because I know she’ll have a good time. I just don’t always know at the moment I get the invitation whether I can make it happen.

Pp here. Parties also often seem to be around 3, which is when she is napping.

So RSVP NO.

op is not talking about declined invites... she is talking about no replies. If your child / their sibling makes it impossible for you to not attend, will this change in a week? RSVP your regrets, and move along with your life.

The host just needs an answer. You are so focused on the needs of your child, that you are ignoring the fact there is a host (and child) on the other end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they want to ask their kid if they want to go

Because they have to talk to their spouse, look at their calendar, figure out which parent will take kid A to the party and which will take kid B to the soccer game

They need to remember what weekend grandma said she would show up.

They are on their mobile and want to wait until they are at their desktop so they can add it to their google calendar

They can't remember who your kid is and need to look at the class photo

They need to carpool with another family and need to see who is going first

This. There can be lots to coordinate

Exactly and frankly, your child's birthday party is not my top priority.

If it’s so low down your list, why even put that much mental energy into it? Just click no. Send regrets.

I find it hilarious that no one has the time to click no on an evite, but can post about it on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

All you indignant parents of small children can only see the world through your own tiny lens. Someday you'll get it. You're still a novice who can't look beyond yourself.

[Anonymous]

Just move the RSVP date up to an earlier date so you can get teh answers you need when you need them. Just put non responders in the no column and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just move the RSVP date up to an earlier date so you can get teh answers you need when you need them. Just put non responders in the no column and move on.

This sounds ideal until 1/3 of them send a last minute yes, or just appear on the day of the party because they’re was nothing else more important for them to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just move the RSVP date up to an earlier date so you can get teh answers you need when you need them. Just put non responders in the no column and move on.

This sounds ideal until 1/3 of them send a last minute yes, or just appear on the day of the party because they’re was nothing else more important for them to do.

Then for the love of God say something! Stand up for yourself. Call our rude behavior if it bothers you that much. Stop coming here to fume and moan. It's tedious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just move the RSVP date up to an earlier date so you can get teh answers you need when you need them. Just put non responders in the no column and move on.

This sounds ideal until 1/3 of them send a last minute yes, or just appear on the day of the party because they’re was nothing else more important for them to do.

I generally have pretty good luck with setting an RSVP date. And if someone hasn’t responded by that date, I do ping.

[Anonymous]

^^ I also throw a fair amount of parties. You gotta be flexible. It’s not an exact science. There can be a surprise attendee or someone who RSVPed yes and doesn’t show. You gotta be a little flexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just move the RSVP date up to an earlier date so you can get teh answers you need when you need them. Just put non responders in the no column and move on.

This sounds ideal until 1/3 of them send a last minute yes, or just appear on the day of the party because they’re was nothing else more important for them to do.

pick your battles. you are not going to change the behavior of someone rude enough to show up to an event without having given an rsvp. just thank them for the gift and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they want to ask their kid if they want to go

Because they have to talk to their spouse, look at their calendar, figure out which parent will take kid A to the party and which will take kid B to the soccer game

They need to remember what weekend grandma said she would show up.

They are on their mobile and want to wait until they are at their desktop so they can add it to their google calendar

They can't remember who your kid is and need to look at the class photo

They need to carpool with another family and need to see who is going first

Yep.

Also:

because the evite went into spam
because the parents are separated or divorced and only one parent got the evite and they aren't on good terms (just experienced this w/ my kids' b'day party last month)
because they have conflicting invitations for parties on the same day
because they can't tell which child the invite is for - so they have to sleuth it out w/ the kids, a school directory or some other hopefully subtle means (said as a parent of twins)
because one or more family members has been sick so predicting whether Janie will be well enough to go is too dicey at the moment
because the parents have things they want to do and are trying to see if there's a way to get everyone where they want to be on that given afternoon
because there's a possible work trip that might mess everything up so they're waiting to see what is possible
because grandma is dying any day now so all plans for the next couple of weeks are subject to a parent having to be away suddenly and then the family traveling for a funeral
because life is hard and complicated and sometimes it takes a while to sort things out and your kids' b'day party invite just aren't the most important thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get that they don’t need to respond immediately but it has been more than 1 week. Some don’t even open the invitation until days later.

This happened to us too. We had our evite out and there was this one mom who didn't even bother to open the evite for a week. But another kid's evite was sent out and she immediately responded to that one. Since my kid was invited too I could see when she responded.

Then when our evite reminder got sent 3 days prior to the party she opened our evite, again no response. Day before the party she responded No. Her kid and mine aren't friends really. We just returned the invitation since ours was invited to a whole class party for her kid. If she knew she was going to say No, why not just open it and say No right away?

You have too much time on your hands.

Actually some of us were raised to be considerate of other people and have manners. Two qualities many people lack in today's world for some reason. When I get an invite I respond within a couple of days after coordinating schedules with my spouse. It's ridiculous that people have so much going on they cannot commit to a party a few weeks in advance. What is actually happening is they are waiting for something better to come along (since a lot of people are insecure and have FOMO) or they'd rather prioritize sports or family commitments over other activities.

You said this in the same sentence as people who wait for something better to come along (which I think is rude). However, I hope you don't mean that people who prioritize sports or family commitments are rude as well. Your kid's birthday party is not more important than something else someone has scheduled during that time. If we are free, we will go, and that's true whether or not I particularly like your kid or you. However, if we have something else in the calendar for that time by the time you send your invitation, we won't be going. That is not rude, and anyone who gets their panties in a twist over someone honoring another commitment that was made before an invitation was received really needs to seek some help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just move the RSVP date up to an earlier date so you can get teh answers you need when you need them. Just put non responders in the no column and move on.

This sounds ideal until 1/3 of them send a last minute yes, or just appear on the day of the party because they’re was nothing else more important for them to do.

So remove them from the invitation. This is specifically why I like online evites. You set a response date and if someone hasn't responded by then you delete them from the list and if they click on the link from the email later it will not take them to the party information. There's an off chance that they somehow already wrote down or memorized the exact time and place, but I'd find that unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you indignant parents of small children can only see the world through your own tiny lens. Someday you'll get it. You're still a novice who can't look beyond yourself.

Well, that's harsh, but I agree with the general sentiment. Honestly, sports commitments are probably the biggest issue for those of us with older kids or multiple kids. I would say it is less about waiting for something better to come along and more about making sure you don't respond with a "yes" and then have to change it at the last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they want to ask their kid if they want to go

Because they have to talk to their spouse, look at their calendar, figure out which parent will take kid A to the party and which will take kid B to the soccer game

They need to remember what weekend grandma said she would show up.

They are on their mobile and want to wait until they are at their desktop so they can add it to their google calendar

They can't remember who your kid is and need to look at the class photo

They need to carpool with another family and need to see who is going first

This. There can be lots to coordinate

Exactly and frankly, your child's birthday party is not my top priority.

If it’s so low down your list, why even put that much mental energy into it? Just click no. Send regrets.

I find it hilarious that no one has the time to click no on an evite, but can post about it on DCUM.

NP. OP was complaining about people who wait to respond or who open an invitation and (gasp!) don't immediately know whether they can attend. People may not open your evite with five minutes of you sending it for a variety of reasons, some of which were listed above. If OP was asking why people never open it, that's a different story. So settle down.