Am I just chump-change with this cheapskate?

[Anonymous]

threw not through

[Anonymous]

You paid half of the mortgage to house #2 month after month after month? How is house titled? His name? Both names?
He dies, what happens to the house?

I would see a lawyer ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Even in a non common law state a good lawyer may be able
no negotiate a lump sum financial settlement for you from him.

[Anonymous]

If you have him on your financial POA's I would get him off.
This is a guy who if you were temporarily incapacitated
would run through your money and when you came to
you would have another overpriced highlighted spread sheet
to pay to him.

[Anonymous]

You have definitely been taken advantage of “What I did for love!” But you sound like an intelligent person. I’d draw a line in the sand with this guy as to what you believe is fair and he either accepts it or rejects it. If he accepts it great! If he rejects it move on because he just sees you as a meal ticket.

[Anonymous]

You guys seem more like roommates. I don't see any mention of love.

Also, you cannot accidentally become common law married in any state in this country. In every state where it is recognized, it's only if the couple considers themselves married and holds themselves out as such.

[Anonymous]

Op you mention that you have separate accounts and that is how this relationship has always been. Well part of having separate accounts is sitting down with a spreadsheet and organising who pays what. This doesn't make it a transactional relationship it just makes it a part of budgeting together.

If you have separate accounts then you need to let go of what he gives his daughter. Your only concern is making sure that the spreadsheet is fair. What he chooses to do with any of his money after that is his business.

You need to speak up. When you moved to his house after living in yours you blindly accepted what he wanted you to pay. That was the time to speak up and tell him that he never paid for taxes and insurance so you won't now.

You need to work out if you are happy with him. If this is your only grievance then work on your communication skills. Make your own spreadsheet and give him this one in return and then negotiate.

You are blindly accepting the spreadsheet he hands you - why. Make your own, which you see as fair and then talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have him on your financial POA's I would get him off.
This is a guy who if you were temporarily incapacitated
would run through your money and when you came to
you would have another overpriced highlighted spread sheet
to pay to him.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have left him back when he tried to move in my house and live for damn near free.

I still can't believe it. And she provided sex to this free loader.

OP stop paying him immediately, and put that money away for yourself until you move out.

Where did you grow up to think the woman pays the man, and provides sex? Sorry but you've done this for so long you believe it's normal. What man charges his gf rent?

Don't be afraid to be on your own OP. He's scammed you for many years.

[Anonymous]

He went from paying $2000. a month in his apt to $800. in your home OP. You paid basically for his entire lifestyle. Now he paid his home off, sure he can give his kids and grand-kids lots of expensive gifts because of you. He was probably hurting after his divorce (unknown) to you, and you were his ticket. You were an important part of HIS financial planning OP. I'm not sure why you wasted so many years with this guy.

Don't give him another penny - he doesn't even have a mortgage. Save your money, and see how long he keeps you around. That's all you need to do OP, may open your eyes.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is a long term relationship and I wouldn't blow it up necessarily if it is working for you. So many here just chuck relationships out the window, I am not that kind of person.

However, I would insist on a more equitable arrangement. Figure out what additional costs he pays because of you living there, and reimburse him for those only. He will mow the grass whether you live there or not. He will, however, use less electricity and water without you, so I would split those. Etc. Etc.

[Anonymous]

True OP could give him a little grocery money, and a portion of the utilities. That should be it, but again let's see how long he keeps her around. He won't be able to fund his kids lifestyle though.

He definitely got a better return than Vangaard or Edward Jones. I'll give him that much.

[Anonymous]

No woman should want to be in a relationship so bad to tolerate that.

When you moved into his house OP you shouldn't have paid any more than $800.00 per month. After all that's the deal you gave him.

The home is paid because of you, but now he wants you to help him pay his taxes! That's insane OP.

[Anonymous]

If you really want to be in this unnecessarily complex relationship (I would’ve lost my mind around year two), my advice is this:

1. Figure out what you think is fair to pay, where you no longer feel resentful.

2. Tell him that is what you will pay or you are getting your own place. No more negotiating the value of your company.

Watch the Joy Luck Club. There’s some relevant stuff in there.

[Anonymous]

Pack your stuff and leave. I wouldn't even say goodbye, but that's just how I am. I have walked out of my life so many times when I felt that it was time to move on. I am 47, I have always done what I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it, and I can look back on my life with no feeling of regret. Can you do the same? Because that's the bottom line. Good luck.