Surprise! Hosting Thanksgiving...how to balance?

[Anonymous]

Holy crap, people, stop talking about the damn plates. It's decor/personal preference no matter what you do.

Mix/match your plastic plates/royal chinette if you have to, just stop talking about it. It's probably a better option for serving food to people who may not notice such details or be as careful with your little curios as you need them to be.

And as far as the 'corner hutch' fixated poster, I can't tell if you think that is the height of fancy or bourgeouisie but either way, give it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden, DH's mom says she's not into hosting Thanksgiving this year, and would we do it. We're fine with that; in fact, I'm looking forward to it!

Plenty of the work will be done by DH (getting the yard looking nice, setting up tables and chairs, making the pie crust, because that's important to him). But most of the cooking day-of will fall to me.

My concern is: I like to do more formal holiday celebrations, and his family is super casual. I'd like to find some sort of balance, as I recognize that this is "for" his family, but it's in the home I share with DH, and I want to please myself and set a nice tone in my own house.

Help me think of what a "happy medium" celebration will look like that does NOT involve TV trays or sweat pants, but won't make anyone who usually celebrates that way uncomfortable.

TIA!

This is the original request. It has expanded to more than "does NOT involve TV trays" to include "using a full set of matched china."

Focus, people. Let's help this woman. There has to be a way to host a formal dinner while expecting that people might show up in sweat pants, but not put anyone at ill ease because of the formality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you have just one set of china, and that's it? Is it stacked in a triangular corner hutch that is never opened?

That seems so -- bourgeoisie?

Bourgeoisie is the noun. I think you mean bourgeois, which is the adjective. If you wanted you could also call PP “a bourgeoise,” which would be sort of entertaining.

love,
no china, inherited or otherwise, but I do speak French! (/Class X)

That sounds so -- girl who took a French class once.

[Anonymous]

OP—how many people? What are they used to?

You have two months to let your guests know what to expect. I’m assuming you’ll see most of those people before then? I think it’s okay to let people know that you’re excited about hosting and getting a chance to use your china. That may signal to them that things will be more formal than they are used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you send a casual email or group text a few days before (when people should hopefully ask what they can bring), tell them what you'd like them to bring and also add that you're so excited to host and can't wait to take a few nice family pics. This should be a clear clue as to how they should dress.

This is perfect. Thank you! -OP

Someone asked how many are coming over: It will be 10 adults and 4 children (3-12 in age range)

[Anonymous]

OP, if I am reading you correctly, it's not that you have any objection to them wearing sweatpants or other very casual clothes, it's merely that you don't want them to feel bad or out of place -- is that right? They are welcome to come as they usually would?

[Anonymous]

I would just have my husband let them know you are using this as an opportunity to break out the fine china. All else will be relaxed and comfortable, but the table will be gussied up.

[Anonymous]

So you are okay with them coming as they are, not expecting them to dress up in any way?

[Anonymous]

Happy Thanksgiving, OP! I’m sure you made everyone feel at home which is the most gracious thing one can do. Let us know how it went and who helped you clean up!