S/O siblings at bday party - what if the invitation did not say anything about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about when it's an evite sent to a parent's email?

You can edit the name of the person who is invited. We know a family with several kids but depending on who’s party we put the name of the child on the to field.

I have never received an evite where this has been done.

I think it helps to know your crowd, and the venue. A daycare family you know well that also has multiple kids, and hosting at their house/park? Totally different than someone you don't know well and/or at a venue that charges by the person. We had DD's first "friends" party at our house when she turned 3 and of course extra siblings/parents were welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it a drop off party? Don’t ask
Is it a little kids party? Is the activity appropriate for your other child - meaning a big kid won’t monopolize the bounce house or a little kid won’t disrupt the puppet show.
If so - call and ask. If it is at a venue where you pay per head, call and ask but offer to pay for your extra kid.

That might put the host on a spot. And some venues limit the number of kids in the party room. Also some parents do separate evites for family and non school friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about when it's an evite sent to a parent's email?

You can edit the name of the person who is invited. We know a family with several kids but depending on who’s party we put the name of the child on the to field.

I have never received an evite where this has been done.

I think it helps to know your crowd, and the venue. A daycare family you know well that also has multiple kids, and hosting at their house/park? Totally different than someone you don't know well and/or at a venue that charges by the person. We had DD's first "friends" party at our house when she turned 3 and of course extra siblings/parents were welcome.

All the invitations my DC received last year were addressed to my kid, not to us. The home parties said snacks will be served to the parents. None mentioned siblings so it means no siblings.

[Anonymous]

I miss the days of drop off parties. We now live in a country where the whole family shows up for birthday parties (which can go into the wee hours of the morning if you don't plan it right)

[Anonymous]

OP here. We received an invitation to a bday party and the evite said "Abigail and Alexander, you are invited to...". The birthday girl is a friend of Abigail and I thought it was so thoughtful that Alexander was invited as well. The invitation was addressed to both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss the days of drop off parties. We now live in a country where the whole family shows up for birthday parties (which can go into the wee hours of the morning if you don't plan it right)

California?

Jk we used to live there and sheez they traveled in packs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss the days of drop off parties. We now live in a country where the whole family shows up for birthday parties (which can go into the wee hours of the morning if you don't plan it right)

Maybe it's partly because parties are more prevalent at younger ages? When I was a kid it was mainly family parties until I was in ES at the earliest. Now seemingly every toddler/preschooler is having a birthday party, and of course those aren't going to be dropoffs at that age. So it just kind of sets up this precedent of other family members attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it a drop off party? Don’t ask
Is it a little kids party? Is the activity appropriate for your other child - meaning a big kid won’t monopolize the bounce house or a little kid won’t disrupt the puppet show.
If so - call and ask. If it is at a venue where you pay per head, call and ask but offer to pay for your extra kid.

No. Just no. Especially paying per head - sometimes it's not per head, it's per group (like up to 15 or up to 25) and your extra child might bump the party up to the next group size. No. And I am someone who invites siblings every party. You know it's ok to just decline, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I miss the days of drop off parties. We now live in a country where the whole family shows up for birthday parties (which can go into the wee hours of the morning if you don't plan it right)

Maybe it's partly because parties are more prevalent at younger ages? When I was a kid it was mainly family parties until I was in ES at the earliest. Now seemingly every toddler/preschooler is having a birthday party, and of course those aren't going to be dropoffs at that age. So it just kind of sets up this precedent of other family members attending.

Nope. It’s just cultural.

[Anonymous]

I have a neighbor mom who has always insisted that her fourth and second grader go to everything together -- playdates, parties, etc. She poses it as making sure they both get the same all the time, but really it's about her getting free babysitting.

You have to speak up. Say, "Sorry, I can only host the child invited," and stand your ground. The mother might be upset because the gig is up, but so be it. Teach people how to treat you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that no, it is not okay. But these questions always remind me of when my kids were in preschool. Most invitations were silent regarding siblings so naturally, I brought my one invited child. I would get to the party and it would be swarming with siblings and sometimes TWO parents per family and the entire party I'd have people asking me, "Where is [uninvited sibling]?" and I'd just say, "Home with [DH]." But so wanted to say, "I left him home because the invitation DID NOT SAY SIBLINGS WELCOME!!!"

I have a 3 and a 1 year old and everyone wants to know where my DH and 1 year old are. It's for sure a problem.

"At home." How is that a problem?

[Anonymous]

I wish we lived the in Olden days when “the more the merrier” was the rule of the day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that no, it is not okay. But these questions always remind me of when my kids were in preschool. Most invitations were silent regarding siblings so naturally, I brought my one invited child. I would get to the party and it would be swarming with siblings and sometimes TWO parents per family and the entire party I'd have people asking me, "Where is [uninvited sibling]?" and I'd just say, "Home with [DH]." But so wanted to say, "I left him home because the invitation DID NOT SAY SIBLINGS WELCOME!!!"

I have a 3 and a 1 year old and everyone wants to know where my DH and 1 year old are. It's for sure a problem.

It’s not a problem.. you are turning it in to one.
If “everyone” you know is going to be there (because I trust those are the people who know you have a DH and 1 year old) then it’s probably okay to ask *any* of them, or the host, if siblings are welcome / going. Social groups have their own standards/ conventions.

That being said, don’t always assume the other guests are in the right. I attended a birthday with DD recently where many families showed up - and that was not the intention of the host, but she did what she could under the circumstance, which was to include everyone.

Pp here. Actually at the last party the hosts were wondering where my son was.

But yeah it’s not that big of a deal. I prefer to go with only one kid and focus on my 3 year old

Sure, Jan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish we lived the in Olden days when “the more the merrier” was the rule of the day

I think it’s insane that entire families want to attend some random preschooler’s 4th birthday party. Do people really not have anything to do on a Saturday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish we lived the in Olden days when “the more the merrier” was the rule of the day

This is kind of thing that makes me laugh.

“The more the merrier” didn’t apply in the olden days.

Parties were hardly the spectacle they are now. Parents invited the two to five kids their kid was close to. Siblings may or may not have been invited, age dependent.

The party was most likely a home party, with a home made (Barbie or Dinosaur) cake. There was no entertainment, other than playing with balloons, streamers, and sometimes musical chairs or pin the tail on the donkey. There may have been a game of hot potato, freeze dance, and watching the birthday kid open their present. There was no catered 6 course dinner because was 2pm, and people may not have eaten, and had a collective requirement of 12 different dietary needs. It was cake, juice, and maybe hot dogs, if the time was appropriate to dinner.

You likely dropped off your kid with the understanding that your older kid and younger kid had friends of their own, and would be attending parties of their own, so there was no reason to include them to socialize them. If your family was included, it was becaus you were actually family friends, not just people looking for an easy way out of childcare or engaging kids for the weekend.