S/O siblings at bday party - what if the invitation did not say anything about that?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that no, it is not okay. But these questions always remind me of when my kids were in preschool. Most invitations were silent regarding siblings so naturally, I brought my one invited child. I would get to the party and it would be swarming with siblings and sometimes TWO parents per family and the entire party I'd have people asking me, "Where is [uninvited sibling]?" and I'd just say, "Home with [DH]." But so wanted to say, "I left him home because the invitation DID NOT SAY SIBLINGS WELCOME!!!"

I have a 3 and a 1 year old and everyone wants to know where my DH and 1 year old are. It's for sure a problem.

No, it's not a problem. They are just making conversation. Trust me, they don't really want another kid and adult mouth to feed there.

Unless the people asking are the hosts, it doesn't matter. Perhaps the party is swarming with siblings and the hosts are gritting their teeth thinking "we didn't mean to invite all of you!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that no, it is not okay. But these questions always remind me of when my kids were in preschool. Most invitations were silent regarding siblings so naturally, I brought my one invited child. I would get to the party and it would be swarming with siblings and sometimes TWO parents per family and the entire party I'd have people asking me, "Where is [uninvited sibling]?" and I'd just say, "Home with [DH]." But so wanted to say, "I left him home because the invitation DID NOT SAY SIBLINGS WELCOME!!!"

I have a 3 and a 1 year old and everyone wants to know where my DH and 1 year old are. It's for sure a problem.

So "everyone" doesn't matter. You will need to find out what your group's rhythm is. My youngest son had a tight group at pre-school and the first time I went to a party without my oldest son, the host was like, "uh...where is Larlo?". OUR GROUP established that siblings were always welcomed, just RSVP accordingly. I agree that depending on the group, you never know, but it is ALWAYS safe to err on the side of NOT bringing you other child(ren). My youngest was almost never invited to parties with his sibling, but my oldest was almost always invited. So it just depends.

[Anonymous]

If it's an online invitation that lets you RSVP for a certain number, then RSVP for 1 child and 0 adults. In the comments write "[presumed invitee child] is looking forward to celebrating with [birthday kid]!" If the host really wants the rest of your family there, they will probably follow up or mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No! How do people not know this?

Right?! Come on ppl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that no, it is not okay. But these questions always remind me of when my kids were in preschool. Most invitations were silent regarding siblings so naturally, I brought my one invited child. I would get to the party and it would be swarming with siblings and sometimes TWO parents per family and the entire party I'd have people asking me, "Where is [uninvited sibling]?" and I'd just say, "Home with [DH]." But so wanted to say, "I left him home because the invitation DID NOT SAY SIBLINGS WELCOME!!!"

I have a 3 and a 1 year old and everyone wants to know where my DH and 1 year old are. It's for sure a problem.

No, it's not a problem. They are just making conversation. Trust me, they don't really want another kid and adult mouth to feed there.

Unless the people asking are the hosts, it doesn't matter. Perhaps the party is swarming with siblings and the hosts are gritting their teeth thinking "we didn't mean to invite all of you!"

I am the first PP and I meant other guests are asking me, not the hosts. I agree the hosts are probably mildly annoyed at the least.

[Anonymous]

I really wouldn't mind being asked. I don't mind extra guests, so it comes down to venue space. If there is room I will tell you it's fine and if there isn't room I will tell you we don't have room to accommodate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that no, it is not okay. But these questions always remind me of when my kids were in preschool. Most invitations were silent regarding siblings so naturally, I brought my one invited child. I would get to the party and it would be swarming with siblings and sometimes TWO parents per family and the entire party I'd have people asking me, "Where is [uninvited sibling]?" and I'd just say, "Home with [DH]." But so wanted to say, "I left him home because the invitation DID NOT SAY SIBLINGS WELCOME!!!"

I have a 3 and a 1 year old and everyone wants to know where my DH and 1 year old are. It's for sure a problem.

It’s not a problem.. you are turning it in to one.
If “everyone” you know is going to be there (because I trust those are the people who know you have a DH and 1 year old) then it’s probably okay to ask *any* of them, or the host, if siblings are welcome / going. Social groups have their own standards/ conventions.

That being said, don’t always assume the other guests are in the right. I attended a birthday with DD recently where many families showed up - and that was not the intention of the host, but she did what she could under the circumstance, which was to include everyone.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends a little. I've asked when the venue was a public park and the invitation was just sent to my email w/ no specific name and the counter thingy allowed an RSVP for an unlimited number of folks. In every single case, it's come back "please bring siblings!" Occasionally followed by the person paperless post-ing the whole invite list to make it clear that siblings are welcomed. I think the preschool crowd on their first kid often just hasn't thought the issue through yet. I would obviously never ask at a pay per kid venue (except when I once confirmed it would be OK to bring my 2 month old, just to make sure the venue didn't have any crazy policy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that no, it is not okay. But these questions always remind me of when my kids were in preschool. Most invitations were silent regarding siblings so naturally, I brought my one invited child. I would get to the party and it would be swarming with siblings and sometimes TWO parents per family and the entire party I'd have people asking me, "Where is [uninvited sibling]?" and I'd just say, "Home with [DH]." But so wanted to say, "I left him home because the invitation DID NOT SAY SIBLINGS WELCOME!!!"

I have a 3 and a 1 year old and everyone wants to know where my DH and 1 year old are. It's for sure a problem.

It’s not a problem.. you are turning it in to one.
If “everyone” you know is going to be there (because I trust those are the people who know you have a DH and 1 year old) then it’s probably okay to ask *any* of them, or the host, if siblings are welcome / going. Social groups have their own standards/ conventions.

That being said, don’t always assume the other guests are in the right. I attended a birthday with DD recently where many families showed up - and that was not the intention of the host, but she did what she could under the circumstance, which was to include everyone.

Pp here. Actually at the last party the hosts were wondering where my son was.

But yeah it’s not that big of a deal. I prefer to go with only one kid and focus on my 3 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No! How do people not know this?

Thank you! The invitation is for the person named.

[Anonymous]

So dependent on the venue. Bounce party where the host is paying per child -- 100% don't bring extra kids.

Pizza and cake in the park? Borderline. I would be fine if you brought them -- I'm not counting cake down to the ounce. Depends how well you know the host. But ask first.

[Anonymous]

I have totally brought my baby to older kid party. Baby stayed in sling or slept in car seat. No attempt to interact with birthday child or be a part of the venue. Also no food because baby is 4 months old. Is this ok? Are people referring to older / interactive siblings or anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Follow up question. If my spouse and I get invited to a work dinner and my boss doesn’t say not to bring the kids, is it okay to bring them? What if I bring a sitter to keep them entertained. What if my sister is visiting from out of town and she wants to try that restaurant, can I bring her too?

Other follow up: if my kid and I are invited to his friend’s house for a play date, and the timing works out that it’s right after soccer practice, can I bring all the kids in my carpool? Their parents won’t mind. It’s only 4 additional kids, and play dates at people’s houses are even less formal than birthday parties, so it’s ok, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have totally brought my baby to older kid party. Baby stayed in sling or slept in car seat. No attempt to interact with birthday child or be a part of the venue. Also no food because baby is 4 months old. Is this ok? Are people referring to older / interactive siblings or anyone?

Immobile infants in slings are generally exempt from headcounts. Crawling babies and toddlers need their own invitations. Basically anyone who is capable of eating or moving needs to be invited, not tag along without permission. (That doesn’t mean feed your kindergartener before you come so he won’t be hungry for the pizza served. That means babies still breastfeeding or taking bottles.)