I’m not a bad mom because my daughter is “girly.”

[Anonymous]

So, your daughter is average and the norm. Most girls are generally into pink and sparkles. You are raising and utterly unremarkable child. Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you find all that precious energy kind of tedious? I’m a very feminine woman, but I find little girls who are into glitter and pink,etc, excessively banal and annoying. real ballerinas only wear tutus in performances, and sparkles make you look like like a stripper. I would never buy my daughter half the crap they try and sell to girls. most “girly” is just crass materialism Girly is annoying. Feminine is not.

.

Now this annoys me about feminism today. I thought the point of feminism was to make sure that girls/women had the opportunity to be who they wanted to be. Just as I don't think it's right for girls to be denied opportunities (assuming they're otherwise qualified) because the roles are traditionally filled by males, I think it's wrong to say that girls can't do things because they're too girly.

Now wearing tutus may not be practical for most situations and I wouldn't advise stripper clothes for little girls, but contrary to pp, I think things can be pink, glittery, and sparkly, without being inappropriate. Annoying? Maybe, but that's a judgement call of the viewer. Annoying is not the same as offensive, and I imagine everything annoys someone. Crass materialism? Absolutely, but try to find something that isn't. I would also say that sports stuff, natural/eco-type stuff, even holiday stuff like Thanksgiving and Christmas can have crass materialistic aspects. If anybody wants anything, somebody will try to make a buck off it.

[Anonymous]

Wow a little girl who likes unicorns

So unique

Incredible

Never heard of such

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you find all that precious energy kind of tedious? I’m a very feminine woman, but I find little girls who are into glitter and pink,etc, excessively banal and annoying. real ballerinas only wear tutus in performances, and sparkles make you look like like a stripper. I would never buy my daughter half the crap they try and sell to girls. most “girly” is just crass materialism Girly is annoying. Feminine is not.

.

You are a killjoy

[Anonymous]

Eh, I'm not super girly and never have been. My DD LOVES hot pink, princesses and most especially rainbows and unicorns. She will refuse to wear any neutral color (no black, navy or grey!). If anything, I think we've come really far in how well we let girls be whatever they want! For a bit, before the pink bug bit her, she wore a grey and orange coat. No one cared.

I agree that I don't think we are nearly as accepting of boys doing that. My son had his toenails painted (blue, his request) and the number of comments about it really surprised me! He's 2! They were generally supportive like "oh that's cool you let him". Um what? I was painting his sister's nails and he asked and I don't get why your response to a kid would ever be anything but "sure what color?". But it clearly surprised people, even my liberal cohort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, your daughter is average and the norm. Most girls are generally into pink and sparkles. You are raising and utterly unremarkable child. Good for you.

Unremarkable in THIS one way. I'm sure she's got plenty to offer, and enjoying pink does not make her less worthy.

[Anonymous]

I agree that there is a little judgment of girls who are girly though most people don't care.

The super girly phase is very short lived and no indication of future style. My daughter started it right as she turned 3 and would only wear dresses from that day until she was around 7 when she slowly started to wear pants. She's now in 8th grade and it seems like a million years ago. She only wears dresses for dressy occasions and is not particularly into her looks or dressing up. This is how most girls her age are, regardless of how girly they were when they were little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that there is a little judgment of girls who are girly though most people don't care.

The super girly phase is very short lived and no indication of future style. My daughter started it right as she turned 3 and would only wear dresses from that day until she was around 7 when she slowly started to wear pants. She's now in 8th grade and it seems like a million years ago. She only wears dresses for dressy occasions and is not particularly into her looks or dressing up. This is how most girls her age are, regardless of how girly they were when they were little.

Exactly this. My DD was also a 3-4 yo into sparkles, dresses and princesses, but she dropped that around 6 or 7? Now 9 and not into dresses or looking very "girly", dresses for comfort and practicality. Wouldn't be caught dead in anything princess-like.

It's a very common stage, and some EC educator says it has a lot to do with beginning ideas of categorization and defining their characteristics in rules that are very absolute: I am a girl and I wear dresses. Later on, they develop more mature ideas and they care much less about that sort of stuff.

It does not mean that she's going to grow up to be a teenage girl who is completely frivolous and calls herself a princess. Relax people. The people who judge little girls get a big from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get what the OP is saying. I have the opposite-- my daughter is a total tomboy and I get comments all the time, like "That's awesome!" "I love that she is a tomboy!" "You're so lucky she doesn't like girly things!" etc. etc. It bothers me. I love who she is, but there is nothing inherently better about "boy" behavior than "girl" behavior. We have so many misogynist ideals in our society.

I've seen this and I agree. I had a friend constantly posting about how awesome it was that her daughter wasn't girly. It's also awesome that my daughter is girly....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get what the OP is saying. I have the opposite-- my daughter is a total tomboy and I get comments all the time, like "That's awesome!" "I love that she is a tomboy!" "You're so lucky she doesn't like girly things!" etc. etc. It bothers me. I love who she is, but there is nothing inherently better about "boy" behavior than "girl" behavior. We have so many misogynist ideals in our society.

I've seen this and I agree. I had a friend constantly posting about how awesome it was that her daughter wasn't girly. It's also awesome that my daughter is girly....

But these are the same parents who would put down little boys if they dared to like pink and sparkly. I think these misogynist ideas would would continue until society changes perception towards both boys and girls.

[Anonymous]

Whoever your friends are, OP, they suck. I live in a super liberal community full of really "earthy" types and have two super girly girls. Most of my friends do too. No one moments on it ever.

[Anonymous]

"moment" should read comments.

[Anonymous]

My daughter totally had a princess phase in preschool, now she doesn't have a single dress in her closet, at age 9. Both are extremes, and I'm responsible for neither...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting really tired of the comments from other moms that ask me if I hate that my daughter likes pink, or if I tried to talk her out of being Elsa for Halloween. My daughter is who she is, and trust me, if you knew her, you’d know you can’t change her mind on anything anyway. My daughter likes to play dinosaurs, ninjas, and Batman with her brother, but she LOVES unicorns, sparkles, baby dolls, and tea parties as well and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make her any less of a strong young lady.

My daughter is a girly girl. She gravitates to all sparkle, rainbow, pink, purple, diamond, unicorn, barbie, makeup, mommy-baby play, dress up, dance, singing, nurturing, and cuddling stuffy animals. She has an interest in reading, math, science and engineering (how things work). But does not like construction trucks, dinosaurs, basketball, soccer, hockey, lacrosse. She moves from the masculine sterotypes to the feminine. She enjoys swimming, dance, ballet, piano, violin, reading, art projects, and is very social. Every child is unique. Who GAF what anyone else thinks. Do what is best for you and your child.

I do expose her to everything that strengthens her cultivation, and she can certainly play cooperatively with kids who enjoy those types of toys/activities she normally does not - but it is what it is. I don't feel bad about it. The kid is smart as a whip. Plus she looks cute in all that damn glitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting really tired of the comments from other moms that ask me if I hate that my daughter likes pink, or if I tried to talk her out of being Elsa for Halloween. My daughter is who she is, and trust me, if you knew her, you’d know you can’t change her mind on anything anyway. My daughter likes to play dinosaurs, ninjas, and Batman with her brother, but she LOVES unicorns, sparkles, baby dolls, and tea parties as well and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make her any less of a strong young lady.

I think this attitude comes from women and is pretty mysonigist. We have no problems with boys liking sparkly stuff, because that’s open minded (and I agree) but we aren’t as comfortable with girls liking the same things. I also find the phrase mean girls problematic and I’ve heard girls as young as 2-3 being described that way.

Speak for yourself. Some of us definitely would have problems with boys liking sparkly things, especially when it's pushed on them.

When are people forcing girly things onto your boys? That's never happened to my 7yo son.