I’m not a bad mom because my daughter is “girly.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, stop! Geez, OP, do you need attention so badly that you need to troll anonymous sites?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cool story

LOL!

[Anonymous]

I get what the OP is saying. I have the opposite-- my daughter is a total tomboy and I get comments all the time, like "That's awesome!" "I love that she is a tomboy!" "You're so lucky she doesn't like girly things!" etc. etc. It bothers me. I love who she is, but there is nothing inherently better about "boy" behavior than "girl" behavior. We have so many misogynist ideals in our society.

[Anonymous]

I see where OP is coming from. Most of the moms of girls I know seem to feel like they have to apologize if their daughters like princesses or pink.

As for expectations for boys: I don't see where it's become at all acceptable for boys to like sparkly things, pink, or princesses. It's a total double standard because if a girl likes stereotypically "boy" things, everyone says "that's awesome!"

[Anonymous]

Yeah I took DD to a princess tea party and sent photos to two of my mom friends and was immediately sent an article on how unhealthy and misleading Disney Princesses were for little girls.

[Anonymous]

This is funny.

Every single 4 year old birthday party my daughter was invited to last year was a princess party. Seriously.

There are exactly zero people making little girls feel bad about liking sparkly twirly dresses. (Note to OP: imaginary mom-friends don’t count.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting really tired of the comments from other moms that ask me if I hate that my daughter likes pink, or if I tried to talk her out of being Elsa for Halloween. My daughter is who she is, and trust me, if you knew her, you’d know you can’t change her mind on anything anyway. My daughter likes to play dinosaurs, ninjas, and Batman with her brother, but she LOVES unicorns, sparkles, baby dolls, and tea parties as well and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make her any less of a strong young lady.

I think this attitude comes from women and is pretty mysonigist. We have no problems with boys liking sparkly stuff, because that’s open minded (and I agree) but we aren’t as comfortable with girls liking the same things. I also find the phrase mean girls problematic and I’ve heard girls as young as 2-3 being described that way.

What are you talking about? There is no open mindedness with boys.

I agree, it’s no better for boys. OP, no matter what you do or how your kids are, someone isn’t going to happy with you and your choices. I have an almost 3 year old boy and I let him pick out a pink sparkly stuffed toy the other day and people have given us looks. But it weren’t the pink animal, I’m sure it’d be something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is funny.

Every single 4 year old birthday party my daughter was invited to last year was a princess party. Seriously.

There are exactly zero people making little girls feel bad about liking sparkly twirly dresses. (Note to OP: imaginary mom-friends don’t count.)

So fun fact: Your personal experience isn't necessarily the same as other people's experiences!

I've definitely experienced this within the mom circles I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting really tired of the comments from other moms that ask me if I hate that my daughter likes pink, or if I tried to talk her out of being Elsa for Halloween. My daughter is who she is, and trust me, if you knew her, you’d know you can’t change her mind on anything anyway. My daughter likes to play dinosaurs, ninjas, and Batman with her brother, but she LOVES unicorns, sparkles, baby dolls, and tea parties as well and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make her any less of a strong young lady.

I think this attitude comes from women and is pretty mysonigist. We have no problems with boys liking sparkly stuff, because that’s open minded (and I agree) but we aren’t as comfortable with girls liking the same things. I also find the phrase mean girls problematic and I’ve heard girls as young as 2-3 being described that way.

What are you talking about? There is no open mindedness with boys.

This. Many people have problems with boys liking sparkly stuff and the boys receive the message loud and clear from their peers. Even in 2019 in communities where everyone is allegedly quite liberal and progressive.

In my personal experience, no one blinks twice at girls who like stereotypical girl things. That sucks that's happening for you and your daughter.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty low-maintenance and very much a feminist. My daughter went through a very girly princess phase and a few of my friends were surprised I was ok with it. I'm ok with it (a) because little kids like sparkly/pretty things (as do some adults) and (b) I would have loved some of that stuff when I was her age, and (c) Disney princesses today are so much more evolved than the ones when I was growing up. Like Merida - Merida in Brave is awesome. She saves herself and doesn't wait for some dude to save her. The phase passed. She's had other girly phases and I roll with those too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty low-maintenance and very much a feminist. My daughter went through a very girly princess phase and a few of my friends were surprised I was ok with it. I'm ok with it (a) because little kids like sparkly/pretty things (as do some adults) and (b) I would have loved some of that stuff when I was her age, and (c) Disney princesses today are so much more evolved than the ones when I was growing up. Like Merida - Merida in Brave is awesome. She saves herself and doesn't wait for some dude to save her. The phase passed. She's had other girly phases and I roll with those too.

I have a 3 year old and our only limitation on what she's allowed to play with is nothing violent. Other than that, we couldn't care less.

She plays with sharks, dinosaurs, Minnie mouse playsets, dolls, etc. I honestly couldn't give a crap about whether she wants to be a princess or a dinosaur for Halloween (this year, she picked a dinosaur, but if it's Elsa next year, who cares). I've bought her clothes from the boys' section because sometimes they have what I'm looking for (especially when it comes to warmer pants for the winter).

So many people just can't understand this though. We decided to paint her nursery light blue purely because we were doing a woodlands creatures theme and it sort of looked like the sky. That made MIL decide that "you don't want her to be girly" and that we would hate it if she bought DD anything pink. Umm ... what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting really tired of the comments from other moms that ask me if I hate that my daughter likes pink, or if I tried to talk her out of being Elsa for Halloween. My daughter is who she is, and trust me, if you knew her, you’d know you can’t change her mind on anything anyway. My daughter likes to play dinosaurs, ninjas, and Batman with her brother, but she LOVES unicorns, sparkles, baby dolls, and tea parties as well and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make her any less of a strong young lady.

You need to get smarter friends.

[Anonymous]

You all obviously don't live in San Francisco. We just spent two years there and yes, many people there would absolutely want you to feel bad if your daughter preferred girly stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting really tired of the comments from other moms that ask me if I hate that my daughter likes pink, or if I tried to talk her out of being Elsa for Halloween. My daughter is who she is, and trust me, if you knew her, you’d know you can’t change her mind on anything anyway. My daughter likes to play dinosaurs, ninjas, and Batman with her brother, but she LOVES unicorns, sparkles, baby dolls, and tea parties as well and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make her any less of a strong young lady.

I think this attitude comes from women and is pretty mysonigist. We have no problems with boys liking sparkly stuff, because that’s open minded (and I agree) but we aren’t as comfortable with girls liking the same things. I also find the phrase mean girls problematic and I’ve heard girls as young as 2-3 being described that way.

What are you talking about? There is no open mindedness with boys.

There is among the women who are giving OP a hard time. Those same women would cheer if OP’s son was Elsa for Halloween.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty low-maintenance and very much a feminist. My daughter went through a very girly princess phase and a few of my friends were surprised I was ok with it. I'm ok with it (a) because little kids like sparkly/pretty things (as do some adults) and (b) I would have loved some of that stuff when I was her age, and (c) Disney princesses today are so much more evolved than the ones when I was growing up. Like Merida - Merida in Brave is awesome. She saves herself and doesn't wait for some dude to save her. The phase passed. She's had other girly phases and I roll with those too.

You're describing me and my 3.5 year old too. Her current favorite Disney princesses are Merida and Mulan. She's all Disney, but prefers the baddest ones. As a result, she loves shooting with pretend bow and arrows and sword fighting (while in a princess dress, of course). She's not allowed to shoot AT anything living, but aside from that, Disney, pretend bad guy fighting, and whatever else comes next shall pass. Maybe she'll end up goth in high school and be horrified at all of the photos from her younger days. That was all you, kid!