It really isn't about looks, trust me.

[Anonymous]

OP, don’t you also reject men that you don’t find attractive enough? It could be that you only pursue the kind of men that have tons of options. (I’m one of those and am very picky because I can be and still have regular sex. I know this won’t last forever but it has for now.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s ok to have absurd issues and refuse online dating. She’s making a choice to remain single with instead of settling. That’s ok. Either she’ll work we up and settle or remain single. Fine.

Sure but then don’t complain all the available men suck and it’s hard to meet people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your niche interests?

I think you’re right that you probably do have high functioning autism. It was rarely diagnosed in girls of our generation.

My DH and DS both have it. The writing style was making me think of them before she even told her suspicions of ASD. OP, instead of generic therapy, why not have an evaluation for ASD? Then you’ll know and you can get the specific help and guidance you need.

What is it about the writing style?

I can’t put my finger on it. It’s matter of fact and while it’s an emotional topic (op seems sad not to have a partner), the post is more about analyzing the situation than showing feelings about it. I definitely got a vibe (and I admit to projecting here) of her perceptions of the situation being the only possible logical interpretation of what’s happening, because that’s how she experienced it and that’s that. I don’t mean that in a negative way, it’s just how DS and DH handle social interactions. They’ll tell me a story about how they were wronged or insulted, and it turns out to be them missing social cues leading up to the slight, or them misinterpreting a situation where there was no slight intended. Also the content reinforced my perception because she talked about having obscure interests and becoming obsessed. I know it’s a bit of a leap, but I could seriously imagine DH or DS telling a story about how they followed all the rules (being pretty in OP’s case) and still no one wants to play with them (or have a long term relationship with OP).

That’s why I recommended trying to get a diagnosis and specific therapies to help. DS is in a social skills class for his age group that’s specifically to help with interactions at school with his peers. It helps. For people with HFA, social skills are skills that can be practiced and improved, much like playing the piano requires practice. It’ll never be intuitive for DS, but he’s learning the rules of social engagement and how to follow them, as well as exceptions to the rules. Traditional talk therapy and CBT didn’t help him much because it was a lot about feelings. He has feelings, but having a set of rules to follow for socializing helps more than telling him to base his actions on how he and others feel in the moment. It’s too abstract.

I guess I don't see the benefit of getting a diagnosis as an adult. If you're a child and you can get various accommodations at school because of the dx, then by all means. But what is really going to change about OP's life if she has an official label? Unless she's going to claim it as a disability at work for ADA purposes, I don't see that it's going to change her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your niche interests?

I think you’re right that you probably do have high functioning autism. It was rarely diagnosed in girls of our generation.

My DH and DS both have it. The writing style was making me think of them before she even told her suspicions of ASD. OP, instead of generic therapy, why not have an evaluation for ASD? Then you’ll know and you can get the specific help and guidance you need.

What is it about the writing style?

I can’t put my finger on it. It’s matter of fact and while it’s an emotional topic (op seems sad not to have a partner), the post is more about analyzing the situation than showing feelings about it. I definitely got a vibe (and I admit to projecting here) of her perceptions of the situation being the only possible logical interpretation of what’s happening, because that’s how she experienced it and that’s that. I don’t mean that in a negative way, it’s just how DS and DH handle social interactions. They’ll tell me a story about how they were wronged or insulted, and it turns out to be them missing social cues leading up to the slight, or them misinterpreting a situation where there was no slight intended. Also the content reinforced my perception because she talked about having obscure interests and becoming obsessed. I know it’s a bit of a leap, but I could seriously imagine DH or DS telling a story about how they followed all the rules (being pretty in OP’s case) and still no one wants to play with them (or have a long term relationship with OP).

That’s why I recommended trying to get a diagnosis and specific therapies to help. DS is in a social skills class for his age group that’s specifically to help with interactions at school with his peers. It helps. For people with HFA, social skills are skills that can be practiced and improved, much like playing the piano requires practice. It’ll never be intuitive for DS, but he’s learning the rules of social engagement and how to follow them, as well as exceptions to the rules. Traditional talk therapy and CBT didn’t help him much because it was a lot about feelings. He has feelings, but having a set of rules to follow for socializing helps more than telling him to base his actions on how he and others feel in the moment. It’s too abstract.

I guess I don't see the benefit of getting a diagnosis as an adult. If you're a child and you can get various accommodations at school because of the dx, then by all means. But what is really going to change about OP's life if she has an official label? Unless she's going to claim it as a disability at work for ADA purposes, I don't see that it's going to change her life.

So she can get targeted therapy to help navigate social situations. If she’s on the spectrum, she can see someone who specializes in ASD to help her learn to fit in more. If she doesn’t, she can at least stop thinking she may be on the spectrum. If she’s been diagnosed with anxiety or something, or just goes to a random therapist, she may or may not get the help she needs. If she were happy and successful in all aspects of her life, I’d agree that she doesn’t have any need for testing. However, she’s having social difficulties, and there’s help out there if she wants to take the steps to get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are very judgmental.

Pot calling the kettle black.

At least this pot is happily married.

NP. Wow. You are awful, PP. Go away.