Parents don’t want to FaceTime with their grandson

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone with hearing difficulties, I can tell you that FaceTime is a nightmare, and understanding small children in person is a nightmare, and putting the both of them together would be incredibly stressful for me. So, that might be part of it with your ILs as well.

+1000 And I look like hell and that’s distracting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I are champs of the 3-minute FT-with-kids. Hello, oh what a nice picture you drew, oh what a lovely purple dress, love you sweetheart, bye.

My husband and his family keep trying to make 45-minute FT-with-little-kids happen. It's chaos, it's stupid, they won't learn the lesson, they won't let it go. Are you like this, OP? Do you try to make it a marathon, when it should be a sprint?

I would love to have short conversations with my parents. From my perspective, my parents drone on and on about TV shows they watched, while simultaneously being frustrated that I’m getting distracted by a toddler. He can be left alone for 10-15 minutes, but after that he wants attention.

SO OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND TELL THEM THAT. "Hi Mom, I've got Billy with me, so I need to make this quick. Would you rather I called back when he was asleep?"

You’re missing the point. She doesn’t want to have a marathon listening session. Her parents tv shows and ailments aren’t going to be interesting atfter bedtime.

She WANTS SHORT phone conversations with her parents.

OK, COOL. Then keep it short! Obviously! Literally, that's the only way to do it--keep it short, then!

[Anonymous]

Another one who hates FT. I like to see my DD looking ok but after that it gives us both a headache. Also seeing my face up close is distracting and I have trouble hearing. 45 minutes with a toddler would be ... asking a lot of both of us.

[Anonymous]

This is OP again. I don’t want to talk to my parents for 45 minutes weekly. And I don’t want them to FaceTime with my toddler for 45 minutes either. I just want them to say “hi” and talk for a couple of minutes.

I’m trying to figure out how to keep/make any sort of relationship going long distance, when frequent visits aren’t an option.

(Specifically, once the new baby comes and we can travel again, we are planning on taking trips to visit each set of grandparents every other year. My parents are no longer willing to come to DC.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. I don’t want to talk to my parents for 45 minutes weekly. And I don’t want them to FaceTime with my toddler for 45 minutes either. I just want them to say “hi” and talk for a couple of minutes.

I’m trying to figure out how to keep/make any sort of relationship going long distance, when frequent visits aren’t an option.

(Specifically, once the new baby comes and we can travel again, we are planning on taking trips to visit each set of grandparents every other year. My parents are no longer willing to come to DC.)

The best thing you can do for your kids is to tell them awesome stories about their grandparents and look at pictures together. Make a photo book and talk about ea h picture. FaceTime is NOT the answer. Your heart is in the right place, but your method of execution is waaaay off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42 and I refuse to facetime. It's ridiculous and a horrible way to communicate. Just send pictures of your kid to them. Show your kid pictures of your parents if you feel like it. Don't force anyone to use Facetime!

I’m in this camp 100%. I’m not a fan of “talking” with toddlers on the phone either.

Agree. I hate FaceTime. People talking unnaturally loud at each other, others crowd in to see what is going on, toddlers keep trying to touch the screen and turn it off, older kids grab for the iPad ..no thanks.

[Anonymous]

I hate facetime with toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42 and I refuse to facetime. It's ridiculous and a horrible way to communicate. Just send pictures of your kid to them. Show your kid pictures of your parents if you feel like it. Don't force anyone to use Facetime!

Interesting. I think about how lucky I am that my kids get to used it around the world. My immigrant family would have loved this 30 years ago as kids were born, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I live on opposite coasts. For a variety of reasons, my parents are no longer traveling. And for a variety of reasons, my family won’t be out to see them until at least 2021.

My parents call weekly and talk for about 45 minutes about what’s going on. Yesterday, my son woke up from his nap, and I asked if they wanted to FaceTime with him. Answer, “nope!” (They also are frustrated when my son is making a lot of noise and I can’t concentrate on talking to them. But to be fair, he’s two, and I don’t think it’s realistic to expect I’ll have 45 minutes of totally free time on a weekend.)

Anyway, I’m just so frustrated by their attitude. I think they just aren’t baby people (maybe?), but by the time he gets interesting, they’ll likely be deceased.

Any ideas?

Either you talk to them without the 2 year old or you travel to them. I get why they don't want to talk to a two year old, as it is difficult to maintain a "conversation". As to the last part I think this is part of aging and you can make someone interested when they are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I live on opposite coasts. For a variety of reasons, my parents are no longer traveling. And for a variety of reasons, my family won’t be out to see them until at least 2021.

My parents call weekly and talk for about 45 minutes about what’s going on. Yesterday, my son woke up from his nap, and I asked if they wanted to FaceTime with him. Answer, “nope!” (They also are frustrated when my son is making a lot of noise and I can’t concentrate on talking to them. But to be fair, he’s two, and I don’t think it’s realistic to expect I’ll have 45 minutes of totally free time on a weekend.)

Anyway, I’m just so frustrated by their attitude. I think they just aren’t baby people (maybe?), but by the time he gets interesting, they’ll likely be deceased.

Any ideas?

Either you talk to them without the 2 year old or you travel to them. I get why they don't want to talk to a two year old, as it is difficult to maintain a "conversation". As to the last part I think this is part of aging and you can make someone interested when they are not.

meant Can't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and I live on opposite coasts. For a variety of reasons, my parents are no longer traveling. And for a variety of reasons, my family won’t be out to see them until at least 2021.

My parents call weekly and talk for about 45 minutes about what’s going on. Yesterday, my son woke up from his nap, and I asked if they wanted to FaceTime with him. Answer, “nope!” (They also are frustrated when my son is making a lot of noise and I can’t concentrate on talking to them. But to be fair, he’s two, and I don’t think it’s realistic to expect I’ll have 45 minutes of totally free time on a weekend.)

Anyway, I’m just so frustrated by their attitude. I think they just aren’t baby people (maybe?), but by the time he gets interesting, they’ll likely be deceased.

Any ideas?

You aren’t going to see your parents who will likely be deceased in the near future until 2021... but you are annoyed they don’t want to FaceTime with your son?

What?

I expect my parents will be deceased in 15-20 years. That’s also probably when my son will start becoming interesting to them. Son is two. Parents are 70.

We have visited three time since son was born. We are not visiting this year because I am pregnant and cannot fly due to problems with my placenta. My husband wants to visit his family (also cross-country) in 2020. We haven’t visited them yet, but they have visited us. So yeah, 2021 it is. (FWIW, a cross-country trip for us with airfare, rental car, and hotel is approximately $4-5K. Also, I only get 2.5 weeks of leave a year.)

I find this hard to believe! I think 7 is an average age the kid will be interesting unless it is a family trait to be boring ( not saying you are) How about not forcing the issue right now? Talk to them less and don't facetime the two year old. More people are living longer ( my friend's mom is turning 100 in January) so you never know!

[Anonymous]

FaceTiming with kids can be interesting for 2 minutes then it is a pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

My parents cannot FaceTime. They cannot get it to work, then they cannot hear. Throw in my son acting like a lunatic if he sees himself on the screen and I do not blame them for sticking to phone calls.

[Anonymous]

I hate to FaceTime. Hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42 and I refuse to facetime. It's ridiculous and a horrible way to communicate. Just send pictures of your kid to them. Show your kid pictures of your parents if you feel like it. Don't force anyone to use Facetime!

I’m in this camp 100%. I’m not a fan of “talking” with toddlers on the phone either.

You must be my inlaws. Idk why it bothers me that they don't want to talk to my 3.5 year old (technically a "preschooler") but she's perfectly capable of interesting conversations. For instance she just had my best friend tell her a story about how she woke up late and barely made her plane and had to run. She wants to go on vacation to meet mermaids. She also talks about Disney characters like their real people though, so there's that. Even my two year old likes to talk for a few minutes if an adult is willing to talk to him. Sure his grammar isn't there, but that's what conversations work on. I'm only asking for 5 minutes with grandparents. I listen about their colonoscopy prep, so the least they can do is listen to my toddlers cute stories.

They cannot hear her. Kids voices are higher pitched. And while you are used to it, they are not. As you get older, your hearing suffers and phone calls become more difficult, especially with kids. I have listened in to a call with my son and my parents and it is obvious they have no idea what he is saying. And then they get frusterated and want to get off the phone.